Pop's Sharecroppin'
A potlatch Minute12 total reviews
Comment from Lovinia
Hi LIJ
So difficult to execute good flow in this form... you have been most successful in doing this all in the constraints of the syllable count and rhyme scheme. I love the image and the title in vernacular which sets where Pop was from. Sounds like you had it rough from such a tender age, yet you and your mother still seemed to make it happen ... lucky dad did not have TB, pretty horrible in those days. I've enjoyed your tale of your father in a significant part of your life. I hope things improved as he regained his health, and maybe you were re-united with him. Though you do say "My ma an' me we lived alone
in years bygone." - perhaps he passed away early? Either way, a fine sample of the minute form. In correct syllable count, three stanzas, rhyme scheme and I'm impressed by the flow in particular. Sometimes I find these poems do not work well, a little stilted ... not here. Well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
  |
Hi LIJ
So difficult to execute good flow in this form... you have been most successful in doing this all in the constraints of the syllable count and rhyme scheme. I love the image and the title in vernacular which sets where Pop was from. Sounds like you had it rough from such a tender age, yet you and your mother still seemed to make it happen ... lucky dad did not have TB, pretty horrible in those days. I've enjoyed your tale of your father in a significant part of your life. I hope things improved as he regained his health, and maybe you were re-united with him. Though you do say "My ma an' me we lived alone
in years bygone." - perhaps he passed away early? Either way, a fine sample of the minute form. In correct syllable count, three stanzas, rhyme scheme and I'm impressed by the flow in particular. Sometimes I find these poems do not work well, a little stilted ... not here. Well done. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 20-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2016
-
My dad actually had TB. Streptomycin was the newest wonder drug, and it cured him, after months in a VA hospital, quarantined. The Veterans Administration hospital was free of charge, but we were dead broke by the time he entered there, so my mother and I lived back in the hills on the little truck farm, no car, no money. I was not quite six years old when that long winter ended. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
-
WOW! A nasty disease, and so difficult to treat in those days and often incurable. Pleased there was access to new drugs which cured him. My mother told me a story she heard from an old woman who was a little girl during WWII. She was about twelve I think, and she had TB. With a war going on, I'm not sure where her father got his supplies. She told my mum the doctor said he could only tell her father to give her yoghurt and a Valencia orange daily if possible, there was no treatment or medicines available. Perhaps a miracle, the little girl survived and lived to old age.
You'd think the VA would help out your father's family? ... never enough support for those who risked their lives for us. :( It's a wonder you and your mum survived ... it must have been freezing and so little food to warm you up on the inside. You must have some stories from that time, or perhaps you would prefer to forget? I'm sorry life was so difficult for you. Thanks for sharing your poem. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment from mountainwriter49
Hello Poet,
An interesting poem about your dad and your early years growing up. It's amazing how the safety nets were not in place during the late 40s.
I liked how you wrote the poem in vernacular. Use of elision techniques makes this work well given the formality of the iambics. Your meter, syllable counts and rhymes are spot-on.
A good, enjoyable read this evening.
-Ray
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
|
Hello Poet,
An interesting poem about your dad and your early years growing up. It's amazing how the safety nets were not in place during the late 40s.
I liked how you wrote the poem in vernacular. Use of elision techniques makes this work well given the formality of the iambics. Your meter, syllable counts and rhymes are spot-on.
A good, enjoyable read this evening.
-Ray
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
I suspect there were more nets than my folks knew to search for. My Dad's medical bills were covered by the VA, but that was about all. Or possibly some back payments were caught up later. I was five going on six and only knew how rough it was for that long winter. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi LIJ RED,
It's a shame when the family suffers because someone falls ill. It just goes to show that there were families who really did live from hand to mouth.
Somehow most of them survived, thank God.
A really lovely tribute to your dad, so glad he recovered from T.B, such a horrible illness. My granddad had that and he was hospitalised for over a year.
Great poem.
Brenda:))x
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
 |
Hi LIJ RED,
It's a shame when the family suffers because someone falls ill. It just goes to show that there were families who really did live from hand to mouth.
Somehow most of them survived, thank God.
A really lovely tribute to your dad, so glad he recovered from T.B, such a horrible illness. My granddad had that and he was hospitalised for over a year.
Great poem.
Brenda:))x
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
In the mountains, the depression wasn't over when the war began. My dad was an Army medic, drafted at thirty-six. He was only quarantined in the VA hospital for 147 days, due to new miracle drug, streptomycin. (history now) The disease got into his bones, and he wore a metal brace for months after he came home dead broke. He was a small man, tough and smart and fair. Thanks for reading and reviewing and especially for the exceptional rating.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Red. Lovely stuff in this interesting form mate. Times were hard back then, fortunately they are easier today for most people. I love the photo as well. Is that the actual truck?
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
|
G'day Red. Lovely stuff in this interesting form mate. Times were hard back then, fortunately they are easier today for most people. I love the photo as well. Is that the actual truck?
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
That's a twin to the one-ton 1949 Dodge my dad had to sell to pay the bills. The buyer, a neighbor, kept it running for over fifty years on his farm. My dad was released from the Veteran's hospital after 147
days, due to new miracle drugs, but wore a metal brace for months afterward. Thanks much for reading and reviewing. Cheers.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem flows smoothly and tells a great, and true, story. You did a super job with the minute poem format. Readers were given much info in the constricting format. The picture is perfect for your well written words about some events in your life.
Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
|
Your poem flows smoothly and tells a great, and true, story. You did a super job with the minute poem format. Readers were given much info in the constricting format. The picture is perfect for your well written words about some events in your life.
Good job and thanks for sharing. Jan
Comment Written 19-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
My dad had served as an Army medic in the war, so he was treated at a VA hospital in Atlanta. Mom and I were left literally penniless with no vehicle on the farm far back in the hills for 147 days of one
tough winter. Her canning and preserving talents, and our cow and free-range chickens, brought us
through, as they did her parents in the great depression. That and luck...thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from nancyjam
Good Minute Poem about your Pa and the
hard time your family experienced once
he was ill. Glad you came through it ok.
Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
|
Good Minute Poem about your Pa and the
hard time your family experienced once
he was ill. Glad you came through it ok.
Nancy
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2016
-
My mom had grown up on a small farm during the great depression. She knew what to to. Her brother was some help, taking the corn to mill, and eggs and butter to barter. Our cow and free-range chickens were life savers. Money was not involved in our way of living. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Jay Squires
Your Dad must have recovered. Didn't you work for him as a mechanic? The implication in your poem is that your Mom raised you (My ma an' me we lived alone). Just curious.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
Your Dad must have recovered. Didn't you work for him as a mechanic? The implication in your poem is that your Mom raised you (My ma an' me we lived alone). Just curious.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
My dad was in Lawson General VA hospital for 147 days, bankrupted and quarantined. It was a rough winter for me and mom, back on the isolated farm with no car and not a cent of income or savings. It seemed like a long-assed time. Things weren't much better when he came home, one arm in a weird metal brace for six more months, but we thought they were. No, I grew up with my biological father in the house. Easy going fella.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Lots of memories coming out with this week's topic some good some not so good. Great rhyme and meter for the minute poem LIJ Red and thanks for sharing this story of a tough time for your Dad and you all. A great read,
cheers,
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
Lots of memories coming out with this week's topic some good some not so good. Great rhyme and meter for the minute poem LIJ Red and thanks for sharing this story of a tough time for your Dad and you all. A great read,
cheers,
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
Dad was six months in a VA hospital getting that TB cleared up. He came home dead broke. Thanks much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from tfawcus
Hard times indeed and more especially so for the fathers who had to try to hold things together against the odds. It is easy to forget in these days of relative affluence, how traumatic it was raising children in those immediate post-war years.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
Hard times indeed and more especially so for the fathers who had to try to hold things together against the odds. It is easy to forget in these days of relative affluence, how traumatic it was raising children in those immediate post-war years.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
My dad was in the Veteran's Administration hospital for six months, and came home dead broke. We were lucky, living back on the farm, with eggs, meat, veggies of our own growing. Just no money. Thanks very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my goodness! This is a sad poem. To lose everything and have to collect eggs to get by. I like that you remember him by his red truck, and not so much for leaving you and your mom to struggle.
- good rhymes
- meter - all good except for lines 3 and 4.
A touching memory poem.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
|
Oh my goodness! This is a sad poem. To lose everything and have to collect eggs to get by. I like that you remember him by his red truck, and not so much for leaving you and your mom to struggle.
- good rhymes
- meter - all good except for lines 3 and 4.
A touching memory poem.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2016
-
Got some edits to do, got in a rush. My dad was in Lawson General VA hospital for six months. He came home cured, and Broke. Thanks for reading and reviewing.
