Kindred Spirits
Prose Potlatch 12th June 20167 total reviews
Comment from F. Wehr3
Funny stuff! I enjoyed re-living shotgunning a beer, and what I call "cock-blocking" your friends from picking up girls. Classic stuff. I didn't find anything I would change.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Funny stuff! I enjoyed re-living shotgunning a beer, and what I call "cock-blocking" your friends from picking up girls. Classic stuff. I didn't find anything I would change.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 15-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Russell, thanks so much for the very kind review. "Cock-blocking" - that's a good one! Bill
Comment from LIJ Red
You never want to be the sober one in such a crowd, the boredom is dreadful. This is smoothly written, but did you ever see anyone who partied and also kept a diary like that? Excellent entry.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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You never want to be the sober one in such a crowd, the boredom is dreadful. This is smoothly written, but did you ever see anyone who partied and also kept a diary like that? Excellent entry.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Red, thanks so much for the kind review. When I was a young adult, I hung out with a large group of friends and there were two girls in our group that never drank. They used to tell me how funny it was to watch everyone else get drunk. Thanks again, Bill
Comment from Scarbrems
What a jolly romp fo the lads this was, eh? A bit of personal memories, possibly? Bet you had some tearaway Spring Breaks. The Spring break phenomena isn't so much of a thing in the UK, though these days, wild times are had in Spain by our teens. They behave shockingly on cheap beer in all night bars, and throw up over pavements. Wasn't the thing when I was a kid, we didn't have the cheapo flights to Europe they have now.
Loved the bit when he tried it on with Minnie Mouse. The only thing I would say is, although you mention it, the 'troubled teen' bit didn't really come across. Good job, though.
Why aren't I your fan? Must rectify that.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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What a jolly romp fo the lads this was, eh? A bit of personal memories, possibly? Bet you had some tearaway Spring Breaks. The Spring break phenomena isn't so much of a thing in the UK, though these days, wild times are had in Spain by our teens. They behave shockingly on cheap beer in all night bars, and throw up over pavements. Wasn't the thing when I was a kid, we didn't have the cheapo flights to Europe they have now.
Loved the bit when he tried it on with Minnie Mouse. The only thing I would say is, although you mention it, the 'troubled teen' bit didn't really come across. Good job, though.
Why aren't I your fan? Must rectify that.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Hi Emma, thanks so much for the very kind review. I might have drawn just a bit from personal experiences many, many years ago. LOL. You know what they say, the best fiction draws on elements of real life. I did wonder if I was conveying the 'troubled teen' thing enough. After the part about 'demons', I originally had a bit about repressed anger and so forth, but I took it out, because I was concerned about the length, and I didn't want to get digress too much. In retrospect, I guess I should have left it in. Thanks again! Bill
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Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is a cute write, bananafish, i enjoyed reading this diary of a spring break kid, lol. made me smile, especially the trip to disney world. i know i shouldn't encourage it but i can't help myself, lol. i am glad i got to read this one
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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this is a cute write, bananafish, i enjoyed reading this diary of a spring break kid, lol. made me smile, especially the trip to disney world. i know i shouldn't encourage it but i can't help myself, lol. i am glad i got to read this one
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Sweetwoodjax, thanks very much for the very kind review. Bill
Comment from Kooky Clown
A good write and an imaginary one a well written piece and I can imagine the well described scenes in my mind. I couldn't however imagine the boredom of the long bus ride to Florida it must have been hell.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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A good write and an imaginary one a well written piece and I can imagine the well described scenes in my mind. I couldn't however imagine the boredom of the long bus ride to Florida it must have been hell.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Kooky Clown, many thanks for the kind review. Bill
Comment from Zue65
Yes, this sounds and looks like a diary fiction about teenagers experimenting with booze and freedom equated with loud music. This is a crazy adolescent stint that we, from the East, cannot relate with. I was raised in a very conservative environment, where drinking and hanging out without direction is a taboo for decent and smart guys in our conservative island where I grew up. But the writer definitely has a flair of words which make her an excellent writer.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Yes, this sounds and looks like a diary fiction about teenagers experimenting with booze and freedom equated with loud music. This is a crazy adolescent stint that we, from the East, cannot relate with. I was raised in a very conservative environment, where drinking and hanging out without direction is a taboo for decent and smart guys in our conservative island where I grew up. But the writer definitely has a flair of words which make her an excellent writer.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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Nassus, thanks so much for the very kind review and words. Bill
Comment from mfowler
I got the distinct feeling as I read this that the author was either reliving his Spring Break from years past, or having one hell of a time imagining one. Your diary works well and covers just about as many irresponsible deeds as this tour of duty might imply. Loved the emphasis on beer. It seems incredulous that in their other life they are supposed to be smart people who plan on some sort of professional career, but that's clearly on hold once the bus leaves Long Island. The ice machine caper was funny and I loved the anecdote about Minnie Mouse at Disneyworld. You really captured the spirit of these times and used the diary technique effectively in so doing. A couple of simple suggestions to help move the writing a little better:
blasting rock music from Johnny's boombox ...as you have mentioned that boombox recently, this would be better without the reference in order to make the read smoother:
blasting rock music
And again: Neil Young was blaring from Johnny's boombox...Neil Young was blaring out
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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I got the distinct feeling as I read this that the author was either reliving his Spring Break from years past, or having one hell of a time imagining one. Your diary works well and covers just about as many irresponsible deeds as this tour of duty might imply. Loved the emphasis on beer. It seems incredulous that in their other life they are supposed to be smart people who plan on some sort of professional career, but that's clearly on hold once the bus leaves Long Island. The ice machine caper was funny and I loved the anecdote about Minnie Mouse at Disneyworld. You really captured the spirit of these times and used the diary technique effectively in so doing. A couple of simple suggestions to help move the writing a little better:
blasting rock music from Johnny's boombox ...as you have mentioned that boombox recently, this would be better without the reference in order to make the read smoother:
blasting rock music
And again: Neil Young was blaring from Johnny's boombox...Neil Young was blaring out
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2016
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mfowler, thanks very much for the kind review. You make a good point about the redundancy of "Johnny's boombox". I plan on editing, accordingly. Thanks for the helpful suggestion. Bill
