Payback
Prose Potlatch-Diary Fiction26 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Mikey,
Good piece here for the potlatch challenge. Maybe next time you should try to put a bit more emotion in... LOL!
I liked the addition at the end of the piece too.
fukin' friends.
- should this be fuckin', too?
All the best
G
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Hi Mikey,
Good piece here for the potlatch challenge. Maybe next time you should try to put a bit more emotion in... LOL!
I liked the addition at the end of the piece too.
fukin' friends.
- should this be fuckin', too?
All the best
G
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2016
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Hey, the kid can't spell, not my fault. HAHAHA! Dialogue's such a great excuse. I wait to edit these until after a couple days, so I leave the typos in. Yeah, fuckin'. Just an excuse for us to say fuckin' really mikey
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Wow .... wow
This kind of thing happens too many times. Sometimes mental illness has something to do with it, like in your story. An abusive father and bullies at school didn't help. The shooter kid was a time bomb waiting to go off and like Tina said, they shouldn't have fucked with him.
My son was in the school playground when Pearly shot and killed five small Cambodian children and a teacher at the Cleaveland School in Stockton. Thank God my son was not harmed physically. He had to have art therapy for a year.
This comes at a weird time, with the shooting in Orlando. Maybe you did it on purpose.
Excellent job, Brother Mike.
*hugs*kisses*gypsy*
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Wow .... wow
This kind of thing happens too many times. Sometimes mental illness has something to do with it, like in your story. An abusive father and bullies at school didn't help. The shooter kid was a time bomb waiting to go off and like Tina said, they shouldn't have fucked with him.
My son was in the school playground when Pearly shot and killed five small Cambodian children and a teacher at the Cleaveland School in Stockton. Thank God my son was not harmed physically. He had to have art therapy for a year.
This comes at a weird time, with the shooting in Orlando. Maybe you did it on purpose.
Excellent job, Brother Mike.
*hugs*kisses*gypsy*
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I did do it on purpose. I thought about it and then posted it anyway. No sense in pretending this isn't way the hell out of hand. I used to defend kids against bullies back in the day. Bullies are cowards. But they have weapons now and it's a different ballgame. I just posted something about all of this. It's got to be written about and people need to stop writing about hate. It all contributes in a negative way. It all adds up even the idiots on this site that think it's okay to make fun and shit. Screw them and the people that support them. mikey Irish Hugs, Oops. Too tight, a little pissed. LOL Oh, you like it like that. :)) xxoo
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LMAO yes, it is to freaking tight, Mike! LoL
This is why I like you so much. You tell like it is! That's right! You go, Bro' Mike, my Irishman. LoL
Sorry, it's 3:45 am and I am a bit delirious.
It's a serious thing and as I said, my son was at a shooting in school! School, Mike! I can't believe it. Why are some people so bad? True evil does exist and it walks among us. Sometimes a disturbed kid and other times a fucking bigot homophobic IS asshole. Can't say I am sorry he is dead.
Love ya, Bro
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You should read my latest. :))
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You should read mine--killing and hating in the name of God
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Wow, I don't want to review it now, when I am half sleep, I want to do it justice. It looks freaking awesome. Good night Mike. *sleepy gypsy kisses*
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Night, dear. Hehehe. I'll tell her I'm Dean. She won't know he difference. I'll start talking about Ghouls, that's the ticket....
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Unfortunately this is too true, happens too often and guns are too readily available. But I guess that is another issue. Very relevant mikey, not funny but too true.
cheers,
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Unfortunately this is too true, happens too often and guns are too readily available. But I guess that is another issue. Very relevant mikey, not funny but too true.
cheers,
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I was a defender back in the day. Of course, they didn't have guns then. I don't know what I'd do know. It's pretty nuts. Yep, not funny. Thanks so much. I'm way behind. But I'll be by eventually. I took a peek and you've got a great piece. mikey
Comment from Realist101
My son was bullied for most of the twelve years in school. AND even into tech college. I don't know what the answers are but your story is a great window to the thinking of those who are pushed into the corners. :/ So sad...ps. Hope you are doing well. And sorry to be gone lately. Trying to get ready to move. I hope to escape these gd airplanes and this bs here. LOL! Best to you.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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My son was bullied for most of the twelve years in school. AND even into tech college. I don't know what the answers are but your story is a great window to the thinking of those who are pushed into the corners. :/ So sad...ps. Hope you are doing well. And sorry to be gone lately. Trying to get ready to move. I hope to escape these gd airplanes and this bs here. LOL! Best to you.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I defended kids against bullies and THAT is the answer. Bullies don't fare well at all against people who stand up to them. I'm not big at all. Only a couple didn't back down from me. It isn't the kids being bullied who need to be talked to, it's the kids STANDING BY doing nothing that need an education in stepping up and doing the right thing. It's easy to stop a bully. Just not for the person being bullied. An awful thing.
I'm doing well. The site has been a pain and I've been lurking in the shadows. HAHAHA. Wow. That would sure be an improvement in your existence to escape those damn airplanes! YES! See ya soon. mikey
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:) Good for you Mike. Someday I'll tell you about the girl who was bullying my brother and what I did. ;/ Sigh...unreal.
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Can't wait. I'm pretty vengeful and vicious, but I REALLY have to be pushed beyond limits. LOL! Usually I'm so tolerant people think I'm a pushover. :))
Comment from Gloria ....
Remember when Richard Bachman, aka, Stephen King wrote Rage about a student going after his classmates. He pulled it after the Columbine high school massacre.
Problem is people of all ages become irrational and act on feel/think causing enormous harm.
This is fiction, not reality from you, but sadly it is some few's reality.
Excellent story telling, Mav. I still have mine to write. I'm so glad there are no time restrictions. LOL.
Great dialogue and the news cast is a perfect ending for another horrific tragedy.
Ange
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Remember when Richard Bachman, aka, Stephen King wrote Rage about a student going after his classmates. He pulled it after the Columbine high school massacre.
Problem is people of all ages become irrational and act on feel/think causing enormous harm.
This is fiction, not reality from you, but sadly it is some few's reality.
Excellent story telling, Mav. I still have mine to write. I'm so glad there are no time restrictions. LOL.
Great dialogue and the news cast is a perfect ending for another horrific tragedy.
Ange
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I actually remember kids with this mentality from my school days. I defended many kids against bullies. But the weaponry was way different back then. I thought of not posting it, but I think we're way past that stage. Well, simplistic and didn't take skill, just a statement really. Looking forward to yours, Ange. Love the new challenge group. Not as much fear factor as there is with poetry. LOL
Mav
Comment from EMB
There was probably a time when this type of inner dialogue would've surprised a lot of readers, but nowadays, there's more than a few of such cases in most schools and other places where kids are forced together on a regular basis. But, of course, we can't leave out the grownups who're fed up with the people at their jobs.
Still, a compelling, in-your-face read.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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There was probably a time when this type of inner dialogue would've surprised a lot of readers, but nowadays, there's more than a few of such cases in most schools and other places where kids are forced together on a regular basis. But, of course, we can't leave out the grownups who're fed up with the people at their jobs.
Still, a compelling, in-your-face read.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I remember this from when I was in High School defending kids against bullies. Nothing's changed, but the weapons and the responsibility or lack of it sure has. We were afraid to get in trouble back then. I think it's a badge of honor now. Glad you found this to your liking. Thanks a bunch. mikey
Comment from ciliverde
I'm starting to really dislike the way this kind of thing is becoming all too common these days. It's horrible. Sometimes it's some deranged kid (like the one you depicted so well - bad spelling and punctuation, and all) or it's some deranged person that has illusions of joining ISIS. I'm already sick of seeing that guy's face on TV, and how the news anchors keep saying, it's the worst mass murder in the history of the U.S. (besides the World Trade Towers, of course).
You did a good job, very realistic, although painful to read. Hillary was talking about how to anticipate this behavior ahead of time. Trump was blaring on about how Muslims are bad. Makes me feel sick!
Carol
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I'm starting to really dislike the way this kind of thing is becoming all too common these days. It's horrible. Sometimes it's some deranged kid (like the one you depicted so well - bad spelling and punctuation, and all) or it's some deranged person that has illusions of joining ISIS. I'm already sick of seeing that guy's face on TV, and how the news anchors keep saying, it's the worst mass murder in the history of the U.S. (besides the World Trade Towers, of course).
You did a good job, very realistic, although painful to read. Hillary was talking about how to anticipate this behavior ahead of time. Trump was blaring on about how Muslims are bad. Makes me feel sick!
Carol
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Jeesh. I can't believe Trump is a real candidate and nominee. It makes me shudder. Glad you liked this. It wasn't fun to write but I hope I captured the dynamic and I got a shot in at the media too. We need to look at it. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
This is excellent, Michael, and, I imagine, something a kid ready to conduct a mass murder in a school would write in his diary. Unfortunately, too real for my blood! The incident in Orlando, FL the other day just about made me crazy with anger!!!! So many lost lives because he is part of ISIS, but moreover, he was offended by seeing two men kissing a few days before. This is a crazy world we exist in these days. Great writing. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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This is excellent, Michael, and, I imagine, something a kid ready to conduct a mass murder in a school would write in his diary. Unfortunately, too real for my blood! The incident in Orlando, FL the other day just about made me crazy with anger!!!! So many lost lives because he is part of ISIS, but moreover, he was offended by seeing two men kissing a few days before. This is a crazy world we exist in these days. Great writing. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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It is crazy, Susanne. When I was a kid I used to defend kids against bullies. But what would I do now? They have guns! I'm still in shock over what happened. Wow. Such innocent people just enjoying their lives. Who cares what they're doing with their lives. I've all I can do to worry about mine. :)) Thanks so much. Blessings and hugs to you, mikey
Comment from Ulla
Hi Mikey, well in view of what is going on in The States this piece of prose doesn't surprise me at all. It's a sad state of affairs. I really liked your story in all its horror. I suppose bullying can do that to a young person if he/she is deranged enough. I started to write last night, but this potlatch topic just won't come to me. I'm stuck.
Well done to you. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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Hi Mikey, well in view of what is going on in The States this piece of prose doesn't surprise me at all. It's a sad state of affairs. I really liked your story in all its horror. I suppose bullying can do that to a young person if he/she is deranged enough. I started to write last night, but this potlatch topic just won't come to me. I'm stuck.
Well done to you. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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It was easier when I was young. I could defend a kid being bullied. But now, I don't know what I'd do, they have guns! I think the challenge seems like what we write isn't enough. I know how you feel. I looked at this and thought, well, that's not much. But, really, that's all it's supposed to be. Just a few diary entries covering a short time. Most of them are short, but they're interesting little snippets really. Think of it as part of a larger piece, like a snapshot. Remember, you're never too late. LOL mikey
Comment from Ric Myworld
I just wonder how many of us have been bullied. I would say most of us. Even I was bullied by older boys when I was 5 to 11, until I beat the shit out of 15 year old Tommy Lyons. Then I was branded the mean kid, although in truth, I was never mean to anyone except those who deserved it. But who can really blame those who can't take up for themselves any other way? When is enough enough? Thanks for another fine read. :-)
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I just wonder how many of us have been bullied. I would say most of us. Even I was bullied by older boys when I was 5 to 11, until I beat the shit out of 15 year old Tommy Lyons. Then I was branded the mean kid, although in truth, I was never mean to anyone except those who deserved it. But who can really blame those who can't take up for themselves any other way? When is enough enough? Thanks for another fine read. :-)
Comment Written 13-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2016
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I was pretty lucky. For some reason I was fearless, probably a form of insanity. LOL
I was never a bully, but I defended a lot of kids and I guess the fact I had no fear made for a good bluff. HAHAHa! I rarely had to back anything up. The key is for parents to teach ALL their kids to never let ANYONE get bullied. If everyone had each other's backs it would never happen. The real punks are the ones who stand there and let it happen. Ha. Another rant. Thanks a million. I never started anything either. But, it was a mistake to start something with me. I know you get exactly what I mean. lol. mikey
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Yes, sounds like we have many similarities. There isn't a better feeling in the world than coming to the rescue. :-)
