Dandelions
I love the way dandelions dot the grass.18 total reviews
Comment from RiseRutland
I was surprised that with so few words, I could actually imagine the dandelions! They do make a perfect contrast to lovely green grass. Well done my friend!
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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I was surprised that with so few words, I could actually imagine the dandelions! They do make a perfect contrast to lovely green grass. Well done my friend!
Comment Written 17-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2016
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Thank you for seeing what I was seeing.
Comment from Bill Schott
This 5-7-5 about nature, Dandelions, I find myself thing of another poet who had a knack of using dandelions in terrific renditions of poetry. I like the characterization you use here that makes a playful notion out of these golden weeds.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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This 5-7-5 about nature, Dandelions, I find myself thing of another poet who had a knack of using dandelions in terrific renditions of poetry. I like the characterization you use here that makes a playful notion out of these golden weeds.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the praise, much appreciated.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello,
Good job with the syllable count.
the presentation is minimal
the kigo or season -- spring?
satori -- none
''in the grass, quiet /hunkered down dandelions /can't hide golden manes'' this sounds more like a sentence than a haiku. In haiku, the first two lines are separate from the last.
this
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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Hello,
Good job with the syllable count.
the presentation is minimal
the kigo or season -- spring?
satori -- none
''in the grass, quiet /hunkered down dandelions /can't hide golden manes'' this sounds more like a sentence than a haiku. In haiku, the first two lines are separate from the last.
this
Comment Written 11-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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Thank you
Comment from JennC
You did a nice job with this nature 5-7-5. I'm not completely certain about golden manes on dandelions, if only because when I picture a dandelions mane, I picture it once it's reached it's white, fluffy point. I suppose, though, that the flower itself could be consider a mane. This is a nice entry for this contest. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
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reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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You did a nice job with this nature 5-7-5. I'm not completely certain about golden manes on dandelions, if only because when I picture a dandelions mane, I picture it once it's reached it's white, fluffy point. I suppose, though, that the flower itself could be consider a mane. This is a nice entry for this contest. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2016
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Thank you
Comment from Leineco
Great imagery overlay :-)
Loved the Lion metaphor and yet, the idea of dandelions being unable
to resist showing off their golden manes just tickled my fancy :-)
P.S. my dandelions do not "dot" the lawn...they reign upon high above it LOL
Hunkered in but statuesque!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Great imagery overlay :-)
Loved the Lion metaphor and yet, the idea of dandelions being unable
to resist showing off their golden manes just tickled my fancy :-)
P.S. my dandelions do not "dot" the lawn...they reign upon high above it LOL
Hunkered in but statuesque!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Thank you for appreciating the dandelion.
Comment from Kazzawin
I've never understood mans hatred of dandelions!
Yes they are prolific weed but they are actually stunningly beautiful flowers!
You're poem shows this by lauding their 'golden manes' but sadly trying to hide : (
Nicely descriptive: )
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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I've never understood mans hatred of dandelions!
Yes they are prolific weed but they are actually stunningly beautiful flowers!
You're poem shows this by lauding their 'golden manes' but sadly trying to hide : (
Nicely descriptive: )
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your good observations and understanding dandelions.
Comment from Ann Dudley Duncan
I am happy to see dandelions getting a review as they
always get a bad rap from many people and especially my
husband. What are weeds, only plants that God put on Earth for a reason. Love the poem and good luck in the
contest!
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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I am happy to see dandelions getting a review as they
always get a bad rap from many people and especially my
husband. What are weeds, only plants that God put on Earth for a reason. Love the poem and good luck in the
contest!
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the good words of encouragement.
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My pleasure!
Comment from heyjude
Mystery author, right on syllable count for your poem for the
write about nature haiku. I can just imagine those dandelions.
Good luck in the this haiku prompt contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Mystery author, right on syllable count for your poem for the
write about nature haiku. I can just imagine those dandelions.
Good luck in the this haiku prompt contest.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Thank you for the very kind review and encouragement.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-You have met the 5-7-5 requirement, but the prompt also says haiku.
-Since no one answered the thread, you have to assume it has to have the requirements of the haiku, as well.
-You have one continuous thought.
-You need two grammatically connected lines and a good satori (aha moment).
-If the committee notifies you about your poem, at least you can be thinking about how to make it a haiku.
-You have very good ideas.
-I do not know what the committee will do, but the best thing is to have an alternate, just in case.
-A possible suggestion:
in the quiet grass
dandelions hunker down
can't hide golden manes
-I wouldn't change it unless you are notified or unless you want to.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016
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-You have met the 5-7-5 requirement, but the prompt also says haiku.
-Since no one answered the thread, you have to assume it has to have the requirements of the haiku, as well.
-You have one continuous thought.
-You need two grammatically connected lines and a good satori (aha moment).
-If the committee notifies you about your poem, at least you can be thinking about how to make it a haiku.
-You have very good ideas.
-I do not know what the committee will do, but the best thing is to have an alternate, just in case.
-A possible suggestion:
in the quiet grass
dandelions hunker down
can't hide golden manes
-I wouldn't change it unless you are notified or unless you want to.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your suggestions.
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You are welcome.
Comment from LIJ Red
Why the double-barreled prompt? A Haiku is not always a 5/7/5 and vice versa. Just curious...I understand the originator of a contest can utilize
either standard or modified forms. Oh, well. Excellent short work.
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016
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Why the double-barreled prompt? A Haiku is not always a 5/7/5 and vice versa. Just curious...I understand the originator of a contest can utilize
either standard or modified forms. Oh, well. Excellent short work.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2016
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Thank you for your good comments.
