Don't Mess With A Witch
A witch divorce32 total reviews
Comment from reconciled
Delightful retelling of the Biblical book of Ruth.
that I promise to love honor and cherish much longer than you...-smile- ...well at least he didn't suffer the torture you had in store...there's always a bright side. love Michael
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Delightful retelling of the Biblical book of Ruth.
that I promise to love honor and cherish much longer than you...-smile- ...well at least he didn't suffer the torture you had in store...there's always a bright side. love Michael
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. So glad you enjoyed the story. These short-short stories are fun to write.
Comment from DonandVicki
I believe that women can become angels or devil's at a moments notice. And men deserve what they get. A fun satirical short story. Well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I believe that women can become angels or devil's at a moments notice. And men deserve what they get. A fun satirical short story. Well done.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I have wished to be a witch many times. I don't want to kill anyone just sting their butt a little.
Comment from MTF1955
That was great. It would take me forever to come up with a story that self contained and with only a 150 words. And I especially loved the last line. Great job. Mary
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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That was great. It would take me forever to come up with a story that self contained and with only a 150 words. And I especially loved the last line. Great job. Mary
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I really enjoy these short-short stories. They are such a challenge and fun to write.
Comment from royowen
I guess when they talk about "poetic" justice, this is what it is! Ha ha, I loved it, i think this is a great entry in this contest, it's difficult to do anything with a hundred words, but by gad I think you've got it, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I guess when they talk about "poetic" justice, this is what it is! Ha ha, I loved it, i think this is a great entry in this contest, it's difficult to do anything with a hundred words, but by gad I think you've got it, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. I love these short-short stories. They are a challenge and fun to write.
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Well done
Comment from Bill Schott
The title says it all. If the husband knew he was married to a witch, he should have expected his things would -- roll his way. I wonder what the recipe was? I have a few folks who need to go under a rock (back under). Great job.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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The title says it all. If the husband knew he was married to a witch, he should have expected his things would -- roll his way. I wonder what the recipe was? I have a few folks who need to go under a rock (back under). Great job.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. There are a few times I could have used her recipe myself. glad you enjoyed the story.
Comment from Ulla
I quite liked this one. It was a good job that the officer couldn't see your big smile. Talk about a wish come true. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla:)
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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I quite liked this one. It was a good job that the officer couldn't see your big smile. Talk about a wish come true. Good luck in the contest. All best. Ulla:)
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you, my friend. I enjoy writing these short-short stories. They are fun and such a challenge.
Comment from GeraldS
Nice entry. I don't believe I've ever seen this particular storyline before.
Some changes you might consider if you revise this story.
First sentence: "checked to see what time it was" could be shortened to "checked the time."
Second sentence: "Four forty seven A.M" should be "four forty-seven AM" and the semicolon after AM should be a comma.
Fourth sentence: "He must have tied one on again last night..." can be simplified to "He must have tied one on again." We already know he hasn't come home from his last night's outing.
Sixth sentence: "We witches don't need to put up with..." reads better as "We witches need not put up with..." And some reviewers might object to your ending the sentence with a preposition. It might be written: "We witches need not put up with such crap if we so decide."
Eighth sentence: the word "Mam" should be "Ma'am."
One final observation: the twist at the end might be stronger if it was clearer that the witch had caused her husband's death. Maybe something like: "It was good the officer couldn't see my big smile, and it was reassuring to know I still had the power of life and death whenever I needed it."
These are just my thoughts.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Nice entry. I don't believe I've ever seen this particular storyline before.
Some changes you might consider if you revise this story.
First sentence: "checked to see what time it was" could be shortened to "checked the time."
Second sentence: "Four forty seven A.M" should be "four forty-seven AM" and the semicolon after AM should be a comma.
Fourth sentence: "He must have tied one on again last night..." can be simplified to "He must have tied one on again." We already know he hasn't come home from his last night's outing.
Sixth sentence: "We witches don't need to put up with..." reads better as "We witches need not put up with..." And some reviewers might object to your ending the sentence with a preposition. It might be written: "We witches need not put up with such crap if we so decide."
Eighth sentence: the word "Mam" should be "Ma'am."
One final observation: the twist at the end might be stronger if it was clearer that the witch had caused her husband's death. Maybe something like: "It was good the officer couldn't see my big smile, and it was reassuring to know I still had the power of life and death whenever I needed it."
These are just my thoughts.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. You always give me such great advice. I have already fixed some of the errors. I knew better than to write the word Ma'am the way I did. That's what I get for going to fast. Thank you again, my friend.
Comment from Kooky Clown
Loved it a great story with a good ending a clever piece of writing including the words required, I thought that the picture helped too , good stuff well done.
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Loved it a great story with a good ending a clever piece of writing including the words required, I thought that the picture helped too , good stuff well done.
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Mr. Clown. I love doing these short pieces. They are fun and such a challenge.
Comment from candyfink
LOL Brilliant.............. although I think it needs polishing......... good luck in the contest and thank you for the laugh.......
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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LOL Brilliant.............. although I think it needs polishing......... good luck in the contest and thank you for the laugh.......
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. It's hard to do a lot of revising with so few words. I did go back and correct a few errors the reviewers pointed out. I don't know what I would do without all you folks.
Comment from jusylee72
Well that was a well told witch story. You got me from hello on that one. Tricky little ending too. You did a great job on this challenge , congratulations. Judy
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Well that was a well told witch story. You got me from hello on that one. Tricky little ending too. You did a great job on this challenge , congratulations. Judy
Comment Written 02-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
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Thank you. these short-short stories are fun to write and quite a challenge. I love them.
