Comment from rmj09

Excellent

The focus punishment received and payment made.
The story line development: Matt is brought to the jail by his Dad. His Dad and the Sheriff appear very serious and Matt is scared. Cody can't believe what he's seeing Matt's Dad turning him in. Then the Sheriff tells them both to be quiet they are to be silent. We can tell by their replies that they won't make a sound. When the Sheriff opens the unlocked doors they run out and hug him. He informs them it is time to go paint the barn.
The dialog shows us two very dejected boys who know they were wrong and need to make amends. You as the reader see two boys who with the proper direction won't make the same mistake again.
The emotion felt guilty knowing most are trying to teach them how they must behave. Confident that they have learned their lesson.
Keep on writing.

 Comment Written 21-May-2016

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reply by the author on 23-May-2016

Glad you enjoyed this part of the story. Perceptive review. Your comments and support appreciated.

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

It would be very hard for two young boys to sit in a cell and be quiet for 10 minutes let alone a morning. My favorite Preacher man, Sam McCoy, used to say. Young boys are full of wiggles and young girls are full of giggles. How true it was. Well done Brett. Nancy

 Comment Written 15-May-2016

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reply by the author on 16-May-2016

Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.

Comment from misscookie

Exceptional

To my surprise I have enjoy this story very much, You see due to my stroke my memory is not always sharp..
And it get very frustrating to re- read the same pave over so many times.
You and one other member are the only stories I have read.
You are a wonderful writer and there was never a dull moment.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
You are a wonderful writer and there was never a dull moment.

 Comment Written 15-May-2016

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reply by the author on 16-May-2016

Thanks misscookie

reply by misscookie on 16-May-2016

You're very welcome.
Cookie

Comment from Stephanie Kastner

Excellent

Well, I'm glad the boys have learned their lesson. Seems the sherif has a lot to teach Cody and understands Cody is a young boy willing to learn. I imagine their fatherly-son type bond will continue to grow.

Just a couple typos that caught my eye:

Never did quiet (quite) figure that one out(.)

 Comment Written 15-May-2016

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reply by the author on 16-May-2016

Appreciate the catches. Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story.

Comment from MizKat

Excellent

Hi Bret,

This is a very nice story and held my interest all the way through. I'm glad the boys had quickly understood the lesson they were taught so they would never act the way they had again. It was very enjoyable.

MizKat

 Comment Written 15-May-2016

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reply by the author on 15-May-2016

Appreciate the honest review. I can see what you are saying in the difference between narrating the story and letting the characters interact. Seems another editing is in order. So, that is what I will do. This is why I am asking the two questions I ask at the end of each scene. Honest reviews. I am getting a lot of them, and that is exactly what I am after. The number of stars a piece gets is insignificant to me right now.

reply by MizKat on 15-May-2016

Hi Bret,

Thanks for you note. I'm glad that I helped you and others have too by telling you to have people in your story do some talking.

MizKat

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Good

The blue numbers are not on mine. It does not show chapters so cant refer back or forward.
Excellently written and if more parents got this kind of cooperation, maybe kids now days...well we could hope.
Yes the shorter keeps them coming back

 Comment Written 15-May-2016

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reply by the author on 16-May-2016

Glad you enjoyed this portion of the story. Your comments and support appreciated.