Inside My Head
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "Cutlery Sandwhich"I am what I am,my thoughts, my words,my poems
7 total reviews
Comment from snowhood
Man I love the first stanza, and you have so many fine lines after that. I'm nobody so don't hate me but it just didn't flow. And no I don't know what flow ,means. I love the feeling the feeling,Just trying to be honest. I can't tell you what to do I don't know, just didn't roll off my tounge. So now you can look me up,and be honest its the only way we get better.
I did love the feeling
Thanks
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Man I love the first stanza, and you have so many fine lines after that. I'm nobody so don't hate me but it just didn't flow. And no I don't know what flow ,means. I love the feeling the feeling,Just trying to be honest. I can't tell you what to do I don't know, just didn't roll off my tounge. So now you can look me up,and be honest its the only way we get better.
I did love the feeling
Thanks
Comment Written 17-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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thnx for your interesting comments
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
They are everywhere, they make you look bad to hide their own insecurities. The way they do it is laughable and most of the time obvious they are jealous of you.
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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They are everywhere, they make you look bad to hide their own insecurities. The way they do it is laughable and most of the time obvious they are jealous of you.
Comment Written 17-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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indeed they are, thnx for your comments
Comment from jane.fallon
Excellent.
I just have a couple of points for your attention:
Is there a reason why you used commas instead of apostrophes? Was it for special effect (it did grab my attention).
The last line of the second stanza is very long. Maybe this is also for effect.
Very well done. I am from Sheffield so cutlery is part of my DNA.
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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Excellent.
I just have a couple of points for your attention:
Is there a reason why you used commas instead of apostrophes? Was it for special effect (it did grab my attention).
The last line of the second stanza is very long. Maybe this is also for effect.
Very well done. I am from Sheffield so cutlery is part of my DNA.
Comment Written 17-May-2016
reply by the author on 17-May-2016
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i do get apostrophes and commas mixed up, seems to be a bad habit that needs breaking, working on it and thnx for your comments
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Fantastic poem ... wish I had a sixth star left to give you for this great write! Anyone who has ever worked with a hard-to-deal-with person will relate very well to your write. Loved that you used cutlery as a metaphor ... brilliant! Excellent rhyming and flow, and intelligently written ... I loved it! Fave line: "those backstabbers, shafters and spoon fed twits". :)
A great poem! Just a few little typos .... commas intead of apostrophes in "I,ve" and "I,m" .... I've and I'm.
Connie
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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Fantastic poem ... wish I had a sixth star left to give you for this great write! Anyone who has ever worked with a hard-to-deal-with person will relate very well to your write. Loved that you used cutlery as a metaphor ... brilliant! Excellent rhyming and flow, and intelligently written ... I loved it! Fave line: "those backstabbers, shafters and spoon fed twits". :)
A great poem! Just a few little typos .... commas intead of apostrophes in "I,ve" and "I,m" .... I've and I'm.
Connie
Comment Written 13-May-2016
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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thnx for your great review,appreciate your comments, Bill
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi (*<*)
= Wow! This is so on target, Bill.
= Sadly, no matter where, there's always a backstabber or two.
= I've certainly seen plenty of those types in my working days.
= I'm convinced these peeps are just unhappy campers, and don't want to give being happy a chance, therefore, nobody else should be happy, to their way of thinking.
= FYI: I did notice a lack of spacing with some of your commas.
= Otherwise, an excellent write.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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Hi (*<*)
= Wow! This is so on target, Bill.
= Sadly, no matter where, there's always a backstabber or two.
= I've certainly seen plenty of those types in my working days.
= I'm convinced these peeps are just unhappy campers, and don't want to give being happy a chance, therefore, nobody else should be happy, to their way of thinking.
= FYI: I did notice a lack of spacing with some of your commas.
= Otherwise, an excellent write.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
Comment Written 13-May-2016
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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thnx for review , appreciate your comments, Bill
Comment from foxangie123
In the beginning it needs apostrophes for this word as it should look I've. It throws the read off having commas. The last paragraph needs a space between men and those. Minor edits is all. The content is great. Love the pic too.
reply by the author on 13-May-2016
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In the beginning it needs apostrophes for this word as it should look I've. It throws the read off having commas. The last paragraph needs a space between men and those. Minor edits is all. The content is great. Love the pic too.
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 13-May-2016
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thnx for your input
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good memory. Your post has good imagery.
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is very good memory. Your post has good imagery.
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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nice comments,thankyou. Bill
