Buttons
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Buttons, new stories "Revenge for molestation
10 total reviews
Comment from DonandVicki
I have enjoyed following your story very much. You have found a way to capture and hold my attention. I do like the feel of your well written prose.
reply by the author on 16-May-2016
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I have enjoyed following your story very much. You have found a way to capture and hold my attention. I do like the feel of your well written prose.
Comment Written 16-May-2016
reply by the author on 16-May-2016
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Thank you so much, I plan on continuing this story very soon.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
A very good set-up for a story. I like your character development from the start, and the background story.
One woman, a detective, the other a controlled wife who has deep religious conventions pressed on her by her mother.
Good story,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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A very good set-up for a story. I like your character development from the start, and the background story.
One woman, a detective, the other a controlled wife who has deep religious conventions pressed on her by her mother.
Good story,
Rhonda
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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It is an interesting, complicated story, i actually never know which way it is going until I start to write. You treat me with so much respect. Thank you.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Just because the words are said does not mean the promise is going to be fulfilled.
"Mary" seems prepared for the worst case scenario and is ready to handle whatever comes her way when "William" calls.
Well written story with plenty of high action.
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Just because the words are said does not mean the promise is going to be fulfilled.
"Mary" seems prepared for the worst case scenario and is ready to handle whatever comes her way when "William" calls.
Well written story with plenty of high action.
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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Thank you so much for reading my story, I hope to get back to it soon.
Comment from jonathan1
This is an interesting piece. The characters are interesting and have depth. I loved the interaction between the characters. The structure of the piece is interesting and helps to hold the readers concentration. Cant wait for more
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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This is an interesting piece. The characters are interesting and have depth. I loved the interaction between the characters. The structure of the piece is interesting and helps to hold the readers concentration. Cant wait for more
Comment Written 15-May-2016
reply by the author on 15-May-2016
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thank you so much, I will get back to writing soon.
Comment from winnona
Another good chapter for your story. Again very realistic the characters come to life for me. I can picture this drama of life unfolding around the church and its' members. The police detective trying to sort it all out.
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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Another good chapter for your story. Again very realistic the characters come to life for me. I can picture this drama of life unfolding around the church and its' members. The police detective trying to sort it all out.
Comment Written 13-May-2016
reply by the author on 14-May-2016
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Thank you so much. It is getting excited. I just thought of some more little twists.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Delaney isn't buying any of it. He see's
it for what it is, a set-up. A forecast
of things to come.Only two buttons. Does
that mean the slaughter is over?
Mary is ready for William. She has gained
some self confidence in the months they
have been separated. Looking forward to more.
xx Nancy
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Delaney isn't buying any of it. He see's
it for what it is, a set-up. A forecast
of things to come.Only two buttons. Does
that mean the slaughter is over?
Mary is ready for William. She has gained
some self confidence in the months they
have been separated. Looking forward to more.
xx Nancy
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Probably a few more deaths, or attempts? Mary is changing. She is definitely complicated. Thank you so much, as always
Judy
Comment from Douglas Paul
I think this is a good chapter, Judy. I like the way you developed who Mary is a little more for us with her childhood background. You writing is clear and fluid. I see no errors
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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I think this is a good chapter, Judy. I like the way you developed who Mary is a little more for us with her childhood background. You writing is clear and fluid. I see no errors
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Thank you so much. Mary is definitely a complicated character. In real life we all are. I so appreciate your time.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
It would be advantageous to include a previously / background information or story so far at the beginning of the piece so as readers know where they are. This can also help draw in new potential readers as well.
It may be an idea to look at different ways of differentiating thought from the narrative, perhaps using italics or ' ' . I see later that you did this but not in the opening section. It is better to stick with one form.
"The case was pretty cut and dry - this paragraph is all dialogue but it is unclear who is talking as there are no speech tags.
all consuming, loving and passionate. . - need to delete the extra spaces and extra full stop from the end.
All the best
GMG
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Hi there,
It would be advantageous to include a previously / background information or story so far at the beginning of the piece so as readers know where they are. This can also help draw in new potential readers as well.
It may be an idea to look at different ways of differentiating thought from the narrative, perhaps using italics or ' ' . I see later that you did this but not in the opening section. It is better to stick with one form.
"The case was pretty cut and dry - this paragraph is all dialogue but it is unclear who is talking as there are no speech tags.
all consuming, loving and passionate. . - need to delete the extra spaces and extra full stop from the end.
All the best
GMG
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Thanks as always giraff. You always help me so much. I do need to write that synopsis. I will check out every one of your suggestions. Thank you.
Comment from Helen Bach
The muse is with you Judy. It is fascinating to take this journey with you, watching as your story develops and unfolds. Each chapter so well written and adding to the last.
I wrote a novella last year in a similar way. I had to keep writing to see what happened next. It was nowhere as good as this. It touched upon female sexuality also. It will never seen the light of day but it was good practice for me as a Newby writer.
I look forward to the next xx
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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The muse is with you Judy. It is fascinating to take this journey with you, watching as your story develops and unfolds. Each chapter so well written and adding to the last.
I wrote a novella last year in a similar way. I had to keep writing to see what happened next. It was nowhere as good as this. It touched upon female sexuality also. It will never seen the light of day but it was good practice for me as a Newby writer.
I look forward to the next xx
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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We still do have a hard time with the fact that women also enjoy sex. I think believing in the Virgin Myth as I call it, gets so many into trouble. It is so great to have you as a loyal fan.
Comment from Domjponi
Wow! Superb chapter.
This brings back many memories of my life. It's been a long time since I've ever been sucked in when reading a script, well you definitely did that. Great peace of work
I'm looking forward to reading more of this book. You are very inspiring to this immature happy belated Mother's Day as I can see you did a fabulous job on both, with your writings and your children God bless you
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Wow! Superb chapter.
This brings back many memories of my life. It's been a long time since I've ever been sucked in when reading a script, well you definitely did that. Great peace of work
I'm looking forward to reading more of this book. You are very inspiring to this immature happy belated Mother's Day as I can see you did a fabulous job on both, with your writings and your children God bless you
Comment Written 12-May-2016
reply by the author on 12-May-2016
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Thank you so much, So many of us hid the fact that we were women who wanted sex, but believed in being pure. Sadly, it makes me a little angry. I have no idea where I am going with this story. If you can tell me your life. It might help.
