Comment from JTStone

Excellent

Hey Rhonda
I know you have a new post out, and another on the page, but this was where I left off. I didn't want to miss anything.
So, Mrs Pierson is sort of manipulating the situation. I'll keep my eye on her as I read today.
I thought you did an excellent job with the segue into the unexpected second story. Also, it starts to bring back the phone conversation Nancy had with her mom. I wondered back then, why her mom knew so much, and had such an interest in the Daredevil Girls...
Jimmy

 Comment Written 29-May-2016

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reply by the author on 29-May-2016

That's funny, Jimmy, but she did have an "inside" with the whole thing.
I'd still keep an idea on Mrs. Pierson!
It does make more sense to read a set of chapters through. I have several peoples' I need to do that with as I've lost my place too many times. I'll be off this summer, so I'll have time to do some catching up,.
Again, thank you so much!!
Rhonda

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

I just love how this chapter begins. So typical of a small town school district. Striking while the iron is hot! Taking advantage of poor Nancy and her stories for the school's gain.

Great story for young girls. You know how to strike a chord with this age group. Must be you've had practice! ;)

 Comment Written 10-May-2016

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reply by the author on 10-May-2016

I know, poor Nancy. I've been talked into a few spots in assemblies, myself.

As far as that age group, I assure you I've had more experience than I care to mention. Still and all, they are pretty impressionable, and are starting to flex their independent muscles.

Thanks, again, for your beautiful review,
Rhonda

Comment from boxergirl

Exceptional

Good morning, Rhonda,
This was a great continuation of your story line. I had to smile at several realistic references involving teachers. One was the "Didn't you get the email?" Heard that many times! And the second one was the food...teachers always gonna have some food around. Lol
Great transitioning to the next part of their story. 8-)

 Comment Written 10-May-2016

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reply by the author on 10-May-2016

Thank you, and, you're right, there always has to be food. It's a great "smoother-over" when you've just talked you teacher into another story.
Email one, true, too! It's good to have another teacher's eyes on this story!

Thanks for the wonderful 6 stars!!!

Rhonda

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Another good strong chapter you have crafted here. The interplay between the older girls is very good and some more backstory thrown in there too, very organically.

A good series.

G

 Comment Written 10-May-2016

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reply by the author on 10-May-2016

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, and for your generous rating. I know you wouldn't have awarded it if you hadn't meant it!

Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from Pam (respa)

Excellent

-Nice image; it makes it seem like a very different place and atmosphere.
-Mrs. Pierson is pretty clever in extending the assembly and arranging for Nancy to tell another story. It is like she is a Daredevil Girl herself!!
-It worked well, though, as everyone was in favor except for the reluctant Nancy.
-She just wants to forget and go on with her life.
-But, her mother is pretty sneaky herself.
-So, with all of that, and encouragement from the original Daredevil Girls, and intermission that included great food, Nancy decided to tell the story.
-I wonder if Sean, "the prankster" will have a role in the upcoming plot?

 Comment Written 09-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thank you for your fantastic review, my friend.
Mrs. Pierson is rather crafty, coercing Nancy to tell another story...Daredevil Girl? Hmmm.
Nancy does want to hide away and lead her own life...may not happen for her, but she's a Daredevil Girl down deep...
Sean will reappear, but I'm not telling where...

Thanks again,
Rhonda

reply by Pam (respa) on 10-May-2016

You are very welcome for the review. I'm glad you found the comment about Mrs. Pierson interesting:) I think Nancy hasn't dealt with the issues that faced her when she lost her dad, and that is holding her back. Glad you aren't telling about Sean, it would spoil the fun! But I think he will prove himself worthy in the cause.

reply by the author on 10-May-2016

Yeah, not telling on ol' Sean.
You're right, Nancy hasn't dealt with them yet, and may not completely, ever, but will enough to do what she needs to.
Thanks again.

reply by Pam (respa) on 10-May-2016

I do get that impression about Nancy. You are welcome.

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

The intermission is aptly named, a lull in the action
While at the same time filling in some blanks,
Background story, and giving real-time insight
into the characters.
Mrs Pierson has a bit of the manipulating witch in her
new members are introduced, and past history revealed
establishing the foundation for behavior
This is reminiscent of the real and fantasy
worlds in the wizard of Oz, where both play a part
A nice transition to the next story
Well done

 Comment Written 09-May-2016

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reply by the author on 09-May-2016

Thank you so much for taking time and care in the review.
You're right, by design, this chapter did exactly what you said...all parts.
Mrs. Pierson is certainly more than she seems...definitely a manipulator, but good guy or bad guy, now that's the question...or, simply a self serving principal who enjoys making money, and keeping famous employees humble.
I appreciate the comparison to Wizard of Oz. I studied ahead of time what makes fantasy stories successful, and studies say ones that mix real with fantasy. People have to be able to relate to the characters and setting.
Thanks again,
Rhonda

Comment from Walu Feral

Exceptional

G'day Cowgirl. I'm loving this story and this chapter is filled with delightful banter and dialogue as are the rest that I've managed to catch. I can feel the tension in Nancy, but have a feeling that she is slowly getting on board.

Some observations.

"Not so fast," Mrs. Pierson said." (Bugger! I hate it when I hear that lol.)

" People aren't paying to get in here---are(--) they?"

"You liked it well enough when you were young," (It's strange how that happens. I quite often find myself in that position. I did a concert at a Filipino restaurant last night and remembered how easy it was when I was young. I was almost having kittens with stage fright last night. Oh, too be young again lol.)

"The Daredevil Girl Supporters have that taken care of," Tina said.( I think I would add "everything" or something like that after "taken care of")

"Don't encourage her," Nancy said. (She is so humble, I love it.)

Fantastic work my friend, keep them coming.

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 08-May-2016

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reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Thank you for the pointers and for the wonderful six star rating. It is very encouraging to here positive feedback.

Also it's helpful to get the detailed reviews. I love the way you tell your responses to what you like and give your impressions.

Thanks again to you and sweet Delia!

Comment from aryr

Excellent

It was saddening that the first story was done. It was surprising that Nancy was coerced into a second story. The team were inspirational in their support of her. I suspect that 'prankster Sean' is still a prankster and the food has some surprising side effects. But I am sure Nancy will be super successful.Great reading, good detailing, thank you.

 Comment Written 08-May-2016

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reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Thank you for the super review, and for paying attention to the details.
Food is fine, but Sean does have a bigger part to play.
Take care,
Rhonda

Comment from candyfink

Excellent

This is well written as usual. You are a talented writer. I didn't see anything that need to be changed or corrected. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 08-May-2016

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reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Thank you so much, candybarr. I love the fact that you are diligent in reading my stories. I really appreciate it! I've never told you this before, but my nickname when I was little was Candy Barr. Never heard it since!

Take care,
Rhonda

reply by candyfink on 08-May-2016

My first name is Candace, people called me candy all of my life.... then I married a man, last name is Barr... well you get the rest, right, lol

reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Oh, wow, very cool!!

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Getting up in front of an assembly and telling everyone stories about yourself would not be an easy, or very comfortable position to be placed in.

She seems to handle the situation rather well with the stories she discloses.

 Comment Written 08-May-2016

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reply by the author on 08-May-2016

Thank you, Brett, but she dies it, so all's good!
Thanks so much for the continual reviews,
Rhonda