Comment from I am Cat

Excellent

Hi Rhonda! I've been reading... I've finished up to here, the last two didn't need any changes, so I read and moved forward, this one just had a couple little things. ;)
I hope it helps... if not, pass them by. lol
I am loving it, of course.
Hugs to you my friend.
mwah

"My eyes were drawn to the wraith(-)like appearance of a woman in the parlor doorway. She had on a long flowing gown enveloping a slight frame. Her (thin) translucent arms were upraised, threateningly, and her face was a mask of unbridled anger. Furious eyes glowed ember(s) [red] causing us to tremble in mortal fear.
(great imagery, but you use the word, 'slight' twice, I inserted the word 'thin' the second time, but of course you can put whatever you'd like in there... also, ember red seems redundant... why not say glowed embers, or even glowed ember, or amber? just for a different thing?... just some thoughts)

Yet another body emerged from the doorway with a strip of cloth, torn from a curtain, in hand. (this seems awkward?... how about)

Yet another body emerged from the doorway with a torn strip of cloth, from a curtain, in hand. (I just moved torn around... the first way sounds like the body has a curtain in hand)

love ya!
Cat

 Comment Written 15-Jul-2016

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reply by the author on 15-Jul-2016

Thanks, Cat. You are a clever and capable reviewer. I love the way you make corrections with care and creativity. I'll go back and revisit this chapter when doing the revisions. You're a great friend,
Mwah,
Rhonda

Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

A tidy end to a complex problem. I love the "fact" that there are special jails for supernatural beings! Also eager to hear more about Emory Settler.

Can we assume that Mildred is forever tucked away in prison? Or will she be a recurring character? I loved Mildred's politically savvy line:

"I was born before this country was ever birthed from the blood of the natives it conquered."

Looking forward to more adventures!

 Comment Written 10-May-2016

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reply by the author on 10-May-2016

Why, of course there are jails for Supernatural beings. They can't exactly be put in general population. lol

Don't assume anything on Mildred. She's a large part of a larger issue.

Funny you seem to be the only person who caught the line about the Native Americans. Mildred likes to pit people against each other and use what she can to belittle. Certainly not because she cares...

Thanks for the wonderful review. I always love your reviews,
Rhonda

reply by Green Lake Girl on 11-May-2016

After I read Mildred's Native American comment, I thought perhaps she may have some leftover bitterness from a long-ago ancestor's experience. No more assuming on my part! I'm just along for the ride.

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Rhonda,

Just catching up with this chapter which I thoroughly enjoyed again. Good tension and pacing, especially for using of multiple characters and perspectives. I think the speech marks are a nightmare to get 100% correct and there are a couple of things here to look at I think.

"Werewolves?" I gasped. "There are werewolves here?" - look at the speech marks form here.

Also, in the second section I think the demarcation for speech within the speech need looked at as you seem to have switched back to using just "" rather than '' and the "'.

All the best
G

 Comment Written 10-May-2016

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reply by the author on 10-May-2016

You're right, it is a nightmare, and in the two books that have been published, they were just left as though a normal conversation. I may end up going back to that. The other is a pain!

Thanks for your generous and supportive review! I am so glad you are reading the series.

Comment from aryr

Excellent

Good background/previous chapter notations which prepares the reader, thank you. It is loaded with suspense. The details you provide paint a great picture about what is going on. Since I am a firm believer in ghosts the character of Maggie was heartwarming. It was very enjoyable reading, thank you.

 Comment Written 05-May-2016

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reply by the author on 05-May-2016

Thank you so much, aryr. I appreciate the review and the comments. Yes, I believe in ghosts, too! I hope you will read my subsequent chapters.
Take care,
Rhonda

reply by aryr on 06-May-2016

you are welcome, I most definitely will keep checks, I will add you to my follow list so I get a message with the entries.

Comment from Jonadab Ezerie

Excellent

You continued this story on seamlessly. I felt pulled back into the plot and your characters felt real to me. You also know when to end the story keeping the reader wanting more. Well done and write on.

 Comment Written 05-May-2016

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reply by the author on 05-May-2016

Thank you so much! Lots of beginnings and ends in this book. I don't like to get mired down going one directions. Thanks for reading and reviewing,
Rhonda

Comment from MelB

Excellent

Hi Rhonda, I enjoyed reading this chapter. It was a good retelling of the story through the Daredevil Girl. I look forward to seeing what questions the crowd asks.

 Comment Written 05-May-2016

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reply by the author on 05-May-2016

Thanks, so much for the great review!
I hope you are feeling more rested!
The crowd won't get to ask questions just yet...
Thanks for reading,
Rhonda

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-I am very glad we are not at the final chapter; I am enjoying this too much!
-This was a really good chapter.
-Different characters, beginning with Maggie, were taking part to free the girls and Sally from Mildred's control.
-I liked how Maggie's character changed when she took charge, and Mildred was tied up, etc.
-I liked the inclusion of the Daredevil Chant, as well as a jail, plus, detective and veterinarian who specialized in supernatural beings. Now that is using imagination!!
-Maggie has been set free from the control of Mildred, and will now see her family "on the other side." It also seems she will try to help Nancy with rumors that had been spread about her family.
-Who knows, maybe Maggie will be watching from up above, but Mildred and her werewolf aren't going away without a fight!

 Comment Written 04-May-2016

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reply by the author on 04-May-2016

Thank you, first of all, for the wonderful 6 star rating. That was very sweet!
Thank you, as well, for the encouraging and supportive review.
The Daredevil Girl chant first appeared earlier in the book, but much earlier, so most people forgot it. That's why I added it back. Trying to appeal to the young adult with that.
Yes, Maggie has been set free, and, I'm afraid, that's about all we will see of her.
Mildred and Gregor, now that's another story...
The jail and vet are just the beginning of the story on that part. Much more on those later.
Thanks again, you are very kind,
Rhonda

reply by Pam (respa) on 04-May-2016

You are very welcome for the *'s and the review. I appreciate your in depth reply. It sounds like there is more story to come, so I am glad of that!

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

The final lesson: Don't mess with the Daredevil girls!
An action packed showdown -
four daredevil girls and a ghost
against a witch and a werewolf
obviously no match at all
Witch and were never had a chance
Loved the line:
"I'm a ghost,' Maggie reminded her. 'Quiet is my specialty.'
I want Tabby on my side, my kind of girl
Kids will love it when Becky stuffs a wad in the witch's mouth
everyone know people who talk to much
It's nice they have a jail for 'supernatural beings'
I don't think a regular old jail would do the trick
You've wrapped all the loose ends, I didn't see any errors
Of course, as your note says, this is not the end
Well done

 Comment Written 04-May-2016

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reply by the author on 04-May-2016

Thank you so much for the brilliant 6 stars! That is a most welcome gift.
Thank you, as well, for pointing out the lines you like best. That is very helpful.
Tabby is definitely a "no nonsense" kind of girl. She keeps them in line.
I'm glad to know I tied it all up as things can easily slip past, and I have another chapter coming pretty quickly. I just have to make a few more revisions.
Thanks, again, for the review and stars!
Rhonda

Comment from boxergirl

Exceptional

Hey Rhonda,
Great continuation of your story line...I love the dashes of humorous dialogue between the girls...and maybe some foreshadowing of Mildred's return from her own words about being eternally evil. Good stuff! :-)

 Comment Written 04-May-2016

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reply by the author on 04-May-2016

Thank you so much for the beautiful 6 stars. They are very hard to hold onto this late in the week, so it means even more! Wow, you caught the foreshadowing. Well done!

Thanks again, you are the six stars!
Rhonda

Comment from F. Wehr3

Excellent

Good continuation of your story. I am really enjoying following this. I found no errors. I loved the line: 'Tough talk from a woman who was just beat up by a group of Middle School kids.' great line!

Take care,
Russell

 Comment Written 04-May-2016

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reply by the author on 04-May-2016

Thanks so much, Russell. I appreciate the review, and pointing out the line you thought worked well. It always helps,
Thanks again,
Rhonda