Demons
Story poem/ Song lyrics93 total reviews
Comment from heat_mac
This poem does a really good job of capturing the complexities of this mental health disorder. I think it would be a great poem to bring awareness and understanding to those who suffer.
I like the contrast of perspectives you write the poem in: some seem to be outside of the soldier, but the others offer some insight into his own thought process.
I also find the stark contrast between the peace at the beginning of the poem and the turmoil in the last part very effective.
You've done a great job, I really enjoyed reading this and getting some insight into what PTSD might be like for someone...Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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This poem does a really good job of capturing the complexities of this mental health disorder. I think it would be a great poem to bring awareness and understanding to those who suffer.
I like the contrast of perspectives you write the poem in: some seem to be outside of the soldier, but the others offer some insight into his own thought process.
I also find the stark contrast between the peace at the beginning of the poem and the turmoil in the last part very effective.
You've done a great job, I really enjoyed reading this and getting some insight into what PTSD might be like for someone...Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and kind comments.
God bless!
Comment from L.lora
Your very poignant and heart
rending poem is so spot on.
You carry your reader through
hard hitting lines with smooth
ease, all so sad are the scenes
your words paint in all the
truth they speak. Kudos,
for such a brave and honest
penning. no nits, good luck
with your contest. Lora
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Your very poignant and heart
rending poem is so spot on.
You carry your reader through
hard hitting lines with smooth
ease, all so sad are the scenes
your words paint in all the
truth they speak. Kudos,
for such a brave and honest
penning. no nits, good luck
with your contest. Lora
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Lora. I appreciate your review and kind comments.
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You are very welcome. Lora
Comment from amada
Your story is very poignant. I have read about PTSD but your descriptions here are horrific, specially for a young man. Very well written, your words seem to scream!
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Your story is very poignant. I have read about PTSD but your descriptions here are horrific, specially for a young man. Very well written, your words seem to scream!
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thank you so much, Amanda. I'm glad the horror of PTSD came through. I appreciate your review!
Comment from johnwilson
Wonderfully written poem about wars fought and once fought, never over! Bravo!
I could feel the emotion pouring off the page! Keep up the great writing as you are quite a gifted poet! Nothing to edit here other than to put it in a book and publish it!
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Wonderfully written poem about wars fought and once fought, never over! Bravo!
I could feel the emotion pouring off the page! Keep up the great writing as you are quite a gifted poet! Nothing to edit here other than to put it in a book and publish it!
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much, John. I appreciate your high review and encouraging comments!
God bless,
Karen
Comment from Alan K Pease
You would think that the leaders of all nations would see the futility of war because of direct casualties and its effect on the mental health of the participants. In Vietnam, we found that the North Vietnamese soldiers suffer the same problems as we. No matter how well-disciplined soldiers may be, war produces indelible scars. Excellent poetics of a story in a poem.
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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You would think that the leaders of all nations would see the futility of war because of direct casualties and its effect on the mental health of the participants. In Vietnam, we found that the North Vietnamese soldiers suffer the same problems as we. No matter how well-disciplined soldiers may be, war produces indelible scars. Excellent poetics of a story in a poem.
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Alan, thanks so much for your review and insightful comments!
Karen
Comment from misscookie
First may I say I'm sorry for what your brother and many young men are going through to them the war will never be over.
I can relate my brother came home a different person.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem
Cookie
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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First may I say I'm sorry for what your brother and many young men are going through to them the war will never be over.
I can relate my brother came home a different person.
Thank you for sharing this heartfelt poem
Cookie
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Cookie, thank you for your review. I appreciate your comments and understanding of this topic. Thanks also to your brother for his sacrifice as well.
God bless,
Karen
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You are very welcome and thank you for those kind words about my brother
Cookie
Comment from Lulube
and you really can't blame them if they've fallen into something that, just for a moment, eases their pain. and we all know that this way of life is not going to be easy, but then going to war is the insanity that developed the need. Great lyrics, I think it should be put to music and maybe Cold Play can sing it. or even a good rapper pick it up.
Damn, damn, damn, damn those demons
great poemly story.
PTSD awareness, in one of the strongest formations through a soldier, but has it's claim on many others through domestic devastations, put on them right in their own backyard/. they go unnoticed by others and by themselves and becomes part of their character that they do not understand.
lulube
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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and you really can't blame them if they've fallen into something that, just for a moment, eases their pain. and we all know that this way of life is not going to be easy, but then going to war is the insanity that developed the need. Great lyrics, I think it should be put to music and maybe Cold Play can sing it. or even a good rapper pick it up.
Damn, damn, damn, damn those demons
great poemly story.
PTSD awareness, in one of the strongest formations through a soldier, but has it's claim on many others through domestic devastations, put on them right in their own backyard/. they go unnoticed by others and by themselves and becomes part of their character that they do not understand.
lulube
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks, my friend. It's a tough topic but one that needs to be addressed.
I play it on my guitar but not sure anyone would br interested in picking it up. But wouldn't hurt to try, right?
Blessings,
Karen
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oh but yes, try. there are a lot of popular musician/singers out there looking for new material all the time. Now on this site there is Krys 123/Alex he is a musician and loves new lyrics. He has a CD too, maybe more than one.
get in touch with him, tell him I steered you his way
lulube
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Thanks!
Comment from jusylee72
Very well written heart felt poem. Our soldiers have to leave their own beliefs behind when they are on the battlefield. When they are taught to respond, react and fight. Then they come back to a society that expects them to keep their temper in check. Great portrayal of the conflicting emotions of a soldier.
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Very well written heart felt poem. Our soldiers have to leave their own beliefs behind when they are on the battlefield. When they are taught to respond, react and fight. Then they come back to a society that expects them to keep their temper in check. Great portrayal of the conflicting emotions of a soldier.
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and insightful comments.
God bless,
Karen
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello boxergirl,
My son's an Afghan war vet, and he experiences many of the PTSD symptoms your poem references. Fortunately, he stopped drinking a few years ago, when his drinking got out of hand. The VA issued him a prescription for medical marijuana. I look forward to the day when we legalize cannibis nationally, because vets like my son need it to function. (Sigh...)
I enjoyed this poem. Rhythm is great throughout, and word choice is excellent. I like the repetition of "demons, demons, damn those demons in verses three and six, and the way you turned the phrase around in your final line.
Great job!
Good luck in the contest,
Lana
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Hello boxergirl,
My son's an Afghan war vet, and he experiences many of the PTSD symptoms your poem references. Fortunately, he stopped drinking a few years ago, when his drinking got out of hand. The VA issued him a prescription for medical marijuana. I look forward to the day when we legalize cannibis nationally, because vets like my son need it to function. (Sigh...)
I enjoyed this poem. Rhythm is great throughout, and word choice is excellent. I like the repetition of "demons, demons, damn those demons in verses three and six, and the way you turned the phrase around in your final line.
Great job!
Good luck in the contest,
Lana
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much, Lana. I appreciate your review and kind comnents. I'm glad your son is getting help for his PTSD. I agree about the legalization of Marijuana, especially for medical purposes.
Blessings,
Karen
Comment from icywell
Great poem. It was concise, but to the point. It's unfortunate that most everyone knows someone suffering from these same demons.
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Great poem. It was concise, but to the point. It's unfortunate that most everyone knows someone suffering from these same demons.
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thanks so much for your review and comments.
And yes, it is frightening how many people are affected by this disorder in one way or another.
