The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "A Ghostly Story"A fantasy novel about good fighting evil.
33 total reviews
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
I liked this chapter alot. Now we know who Maggie is and her story. How Mildred came into her life and eventually took over. Through this excellent story one thing stands out to me. If you let a person into your life and things begin to change and not for the good, then you either rid that person from your life or pay the consequences.
Your ending has me wondering, where did Maggie go and is she going to be a friend to the girls or will she draw them into the evil of this mansion?
Very well done with the dialogue and your descriptions that had me feeling like I was there.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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I liked this chapter alot. Now we know who Maggie is and her story. How Mildred came into her life and eventually took over. Through this excellent story one thing stands out to me. If you let a person into your life and things begin to change and not for the good, then you either rid that person from your life or pay the consequences.
Your ending has me wondering, where did Maggie go and is she going to be a friend to the girls or will she draw them into the evil of this mansion?
Very well done with the dialogue and your descriptions that had me feeling like I was there.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Wow, thank you so much for the six stars, and for the great and detailed review. You are one of the few who caught on to the fact that Mildred inched her way in and caused discord. You are so right about letting people into your life that make things worse. I actually based her on a real person who had done much the same to me, but who I cut off as soon as I realized what she was up to.
Thanks again,
Rhonda
Comment from Ulla
Hi Rhonda, this was an interesting tale indeed. Maggie seems indeed to be a friendly ghost with a sad life and now a sad death. Hope the girls can help.
Sewing discord: do you mean sowing discord?
No just through that closet, and that temporarily = and that's temporarily.
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Hi Rhonda, this was an interesting tale indeed. Maggie seems indeed to be a friendly ghost with a sad life and now a sad death. Hope the girls can help.
Sewing discord: do you mean sowing discord?
No just through that closet, and that temporarily = and that's temporarily.
Looking forward to reading on. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 26-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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You are so write, I did mess up sewing. Thanks!
Thanks for the great review, and finding the mistakes. You can't correct them if you can't find them, right? Thanks,
Rhonda
Comment from candyfink
This is well written and I believe you are talented writer. The details that you give bring the characters to life. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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This is well written and I believe you are talented writer. The details that you give bring the characters to life. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. It is much appreciated!
Rhonda
Comment from franichm
I enjoy this storyline. The ghostly conversation is interesting and with all the detail it opens the story up to many avenues. It definitely left me with wanting to know what happens next! Well done. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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I enjoy this storyline. The ghostly conversation is interesting and with all the detail it opens the story up to many avenues. It definitely left me with wanting to know what happens next! Well done. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, and I hope you are able to keep reading. I appreciate your perspective,
Rhonda
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Most enjoyable, Rhonda. An excellent ghost story that made me a little envious, because the girls were so brave in the presence of one. I thought you did the descriptions of the ghost very well, almost believable LOL, Giddy
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Most enjoyable, Rhonda. An excellent ghost story that made me a little envious, because the girls were so brave in the presence of one. I thought you did the descriptions of the ghost very well, almost believable LOL, Giddy
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, Giddy. I appreciate your input, and opinion!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from JTStone
Okay, here's your six.
Rhonda, I don't normally do the grammar corrections, but the last paragraph, "I told you it couldn't be helpful..." I think you mean, 'could'
I'm starting to love the ghost angle more. I remember the family from a few episodes ago. Now their history is a bit more clear. I think your dialog/story flowed very smoothly in this episode, though it did lean heavily on the fact that the story was covered prior, and those who have read the whole thing should be easily able to follow.
Excellent story Rhonda.
Jimmy
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Okay, here's your six.
Rhonda, I don't normally do the grammar corrections, but the last paragraph, "I told you it couldn't be helpful..." I think you mean, 'could'
I'm starting to love the ghost angle more. I remember the family from a few episodes ago. Now their history is a bit more clear. I think your dialog/story flowed very smoothly in this episode, though it did lean heavily on the fact that the story was covered prior, and those who have read the whole thing should be easily able to follow.
Excellent story Rhonda.
Jimmy
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thanks so much, Jimmy, for the beautiful 6 stars. You're the greatest, and you are probably right, I might should tell some more of the story in the author's notes to catch people up.
Thanks for finding the Spag for me. I always look forward to your reviews!
Rhonda
Comment from Green Lake Girl
I'm caught up! Boy, what a completely frightening sequence of events. Is Mildred a ghost too or a flesh-and-blood ghost? Either way, terribly evil.
I can't imagine how these girls will extract themselves from a seemingly impossible situation.
Quite a story behind the doors of this house, Rhonda. You do a very good job of creating tension and keeping up the suspense.
The sixer is for all the wonderful chapters prior to this one. It makes a difference reading the chapters back to back. Great flow to your story.
Very well done, Rhonda.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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I'm caught up! Boy, what a completely frightening sequence of events. Is Mildred a ghost too or a flesh-and-blood ghost? Either way, terribly evil.
I can't imagine how these girls will extract themselves from a seemingly impossible situation.
Quite a story behind the doors of this house, Rhonda. You do a very good job of creating tension and keeping up the suspense.
The sixer is for all the wonderful chapters prior to this one. It makes a difference reading the chapters back to back. Great flow to your story.
Very well done, Rhonda.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Mildred is flesh and blood, but an immortal. Her story goes on in additional books (some published, some still waiting).
I'm so excited you got caught up.
I especially appreciate your input, and the great and beautiful stars!!!
Rhonda
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Oh no! An immortal. That means she can't be gotten rid of? No matter how many bullets?
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Actually, there are ways to get rid of immortals, just not easily, ghosts included...as you well know...
Comment from Mary Wakeford
An excellent read and your descriptions and conversations between the characters give enough information without overwhelming the reader with too much detail. You also leave the reader excited for the next chapter. Well done!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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An excellent read and your descriptions and conversations between the characters give enough information without overwhelming the reader with too much detail. You also leave the reader excited for the next chapter. Well done!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, and I appreciate the comment about not overwhelming with detail. It's such a fine line we walk as authors to try to keep it interesting, and set the scene at the same time. I'm glad the balance worked!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from DonandVicki
An exciting chapter that is full of adventure.. You pulled me into the story with your well thought out plot. The story flows quite smoothly, an enjoyable read.
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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An exciting chapter that is full of adventure.. You pulled me into the story with your well thought out plot. The story flows quite smoothly, an enjoyable read.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I always appreciate your reviews, truly!
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from CDyer
Oh, an interesting turn of events! I'm glad there is at least a hint of help. Hopefully Maggie can be trusted. If her story is true, I understand why I felt a little sympathy for the werewolf previously. Can't wait to see what lies ahead!
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Oh, an interesting turn of events! I'm glad there is at least a hint of help. Hopefully Maggie can be trusted. If her story is true, I understand why I felt a little sympathy for the werewolf previously. Can't wait to see what lies ahead!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Yes, Mildred had enslaved many people and creatures. Makes for a great army, but a very unreliable one at best. Thanks so much for the review, and for keeping up with the story.
Take care,
Rhonda
