Miscellaneous stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 23 "A Fanstorian prayer"Fiction and non-fiction prose
14 total reviews
Comment from foxangie123
This was a well written piec as entry into the Conviencers contest. An intriguing lined story and nice look into the concept of the subject matter.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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This was a well written piec as entry into the Conviencers contest. An intriguing lined story and nice look into the concept of the subject matter.
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Foxangie. Kind comments much appreciated :)
Comment from BruceMiller
You come to me, The Master Of All Things, with this pitiful prayer for consideration. You obviously do not know with whom you are dealing. You have now open the door for a new range of stars: -1 down to -5. Haar Haar Har Har he he.
(pay now attention to the man behind the green curtain, Dorothy.)
lol
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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You come to me, The Master Of All Things, with this pitiful prayer for consideration. You obviously do not know with whom you are dealing. You have now open the door for a new range of stars: -1 down to -5. Haar Haar Har Har he he.
(pay now attention to the man behind the green curtain, Dorothy.)
lol
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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LOL thank you for stopping by to review my humble little offering, oh wise and great Oz :)
Comment from VaV-VOOM
Nice poem my friend, and I really did enjoy reviewing it, nice. Thank you for sharing with us all, and the picture fits great. Write On! VaV-VOOM!
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Nice poem my friend, and I really did enjoy reviewing it, nice. Thank you for sharing with us all, and the picture fits great. Write On! VaV-VOOM!
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Vav-voom, much appreciated!
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Your so welcome, VaV-VOOM!
Comment from Liberty Justice
Nicely done! Someone just gave you thumbs. You had 0 votes and now you have 1 vote putting you in 2nd place. Story is am ainh and suspensefulful with tone of bewilderment and scientific knowledge teaching us about cosmics.
liberty justice
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Nicely done! Someone just gave you thumbs. You had 0 votes and now you have 1 vote putting you in 2nd place. Story is am ainh and suspensefulful with tone of bewilderment and scientific knowledge teaching us about cosmics.
liberty justice
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Thank you very much for the lovely comments - and the vote, if that someone happened to be you. If not, thanks anyway! :)
Comment from --Turtle.
Dear drafted convincer,
Thank you whole-heartedly for entering this contest I created.
I can only hope that your efforts will help raise some awareness to the cosmic-scale effect a single graphic can have on FanStory writers. : )
I enjoyed reading this entry. Great logical setup and conclusion.
Extra thoughts because I can't help myself:
universe, he was wrong? Well, he was. There are far more!
(Great job here with your opening paragraph to frame this issue. I love how you compared graphics of stars with the larger than life cosmic embodiment of planets and stars and what could of been with what is.)
specks of dust just like our Earth orbit[ing]? big gassy balls just
(delete the ing? not sure, though, just check for the verb of the sentence, I might of missed it)
craft, designed specifically to detect other planetary bodies(,) has
(suggest comma)
perhaps they too could have been a star! They, too, might have
(Really like where this is heading, the potential and that it's not cosmically rubbed in)
unfortunate failed star-things. It has taken pity on us, and not
(love this line!)
obliterating our view of our bright, shiny stars!
(Yes! This was an awesome paragraph. Flotsam ... what a great visual and I appreciate the tongue and cheek sense of importance.)
Have mercy on us, we beseech you.
Nice job with this contest entry! I enjoyed reading it, and appreciate the help with your participating in this contest to convince others of the significance the graphic has on people ... as I don't think they are aware of it on a conscious level.
: )
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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Dear drafted convincer,
Thank you whole-heartedly for entering this contest I created.
I can only hope that your efforts will help raise some awareness to the cosmic-scale effect a single graphic can have on FanStory writers. : )
I enjoyed reading this entry. Great logical setup and conclusion.
Extra thoughts because I can't help myself:
universe, he was wrong? Well, he was. There are far more!
(Great job here with your opening paragraph to frame this issue. I love how you compared graphics of stars with the larger than life cosmic embodiment of planets and stars and what could of been with what is.)
specks of dust just like our Earth orbit[ing]? big gassy balls just
(delete the ing? not sure, though, just check for the verb of the sentence, I might of missed it)
craft, designed specifically to detect other planetary bodies(,) has
(suggest comma)
perhaps they too could have been a star! They, too, might have
(Really like where this is heading, the potential and that it's not cosmically rubbed in)
unfortunate failed star-things. It has taken pity on us, and not
(love this line!)
obliterating our view of our bright, shiny stars!
(Yes! This was an awesome paragraph. Flotsam ... what a great visual and I appreciate the tongue and cheek sense of importance.)
Have mercy on us, we beseech you.
Nice job with this contest entry! I enjoyed reading it, and appreciate the help with your participating in this contest to convince others of the significance the graphic has on people ... as I don't think they are aware of it on a conscious level.
: )
Comment Written 24-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 24-Apr-2016
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I've made both of the changes you suggested - thanks for pointing those out. Thanks for the lovely review too, and for sponsoring the contest. I hope it has the desired effect :)
Comment from robyn corum
'standing on top of the mountain, screaming at us "look what you could have been!"'
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Well....it's been nice knowing you -- whoever you are. Enjoy your exile. hehehehe
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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'standing on top of the mountain, screaming at us "look what you could have been!"'
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Well....it's been nice knowing you -- whoever you are. Enjoy your exile. hehehehe
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Thanks Robyn. They still need chimney sweeps in some places, I have a plan B!
Much appreciated :)
Comment from ~Dovey
Hi Poet,
Methinks you are tempting the wrath of the FanStory powers that be with this bit of mirth. And, how sad that you would be banned anonymously, from a blind contest. Fallen prey to the CEC lol (I'm just guessing it goes to them first for inspection.)
Actually, you made me laugh. I hope Tom and (the voters) are swayed by your pseudo scientific argument and won't make you cite references or provide substantiating data about the specks we cannot see. :)
Good luck in the voting booth!
Kim
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Hi Poet,
Methinks you are tempting the wrath of the FanStory powers that be with this bit of mirth. And, how sad that you would be banned anonymously, from a blind contest. Fallen prey to the CEC lol (I'm just guessing it goes to them first for inspection.)
Actually, you made me laugh. I hope Tom and (the voters) are swayed by your pseudo scientific argument and won't make you cite references or provide substantiating data about the specks we cannot see. :)
Good luck in the voting booth!
Kim
Comment Written 23-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2016
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Pseudo? Pseudo?
I stand by my claims, let them bring it on!
Thanks for the fun review ;-)
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
Very nice indeed. I think you hit a perfect incredulous and pleading tone in this finely written piece. All the very best in the booths
GMG
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Hi there,
Very nice indeed. I think you hit a perfect incredulous and pleading tone in this finely written piece. All the very best in the booths
GMG
Comment Written 22-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Thanks, GMG. Very much appreciated.
Comment from LIJ Red
The longer I hang around the less stars mean. I have a handful of reviewers that I listen to, glad to have them judge what I write for myself.
Oh, in researching, I asked How many stars? and the web opined
one hundred octillion, give or take a quadrillion or two. A star more or
less is significant only on FS. Such a prompt. Excellent work.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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The longer I hang around the less stars mean. I have a handful of reviewers that I listen to, glad to have them judge what I write for myself.
Oh, in researching, I asked How many stars? and the web opined
one hundred octillion, give or take a quadrillion or two. A star more or
less is significant only on FS. Such a prompt. Excellent work.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Thank you, LIJ Red. I agree with what you say about the advice of our trusted reviewers - but the contest prompt is what it is...
Comment from AnnaLinda
LOL Author!
This is a brilliant piece...right down to your star studded art.
OMG...I loved your turn here:
"And yet you, you despotic commander of this little demi-universe, have in your infinite lack of compassion chosen not to spare us such agony! You tease and taunt us with these little ungainly smatterings of detritus, these bits of superfluous flotsam and jetsam hovering around our ratings, distracting us, obliterating our view of our bright, shiny stars"
That is so funny! And then you end it in a benevolent prayer...You are too much!
Lord have mercy! Amen.
Linda
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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LOL Author!
This is a brilliant piece...right down to your star studded art.
OMG...I loved your turn here:
"And yet you, you despotic commander of this little demi-universe, have in your infinite lack of compassion chosen not to spare us such agony! You tease and taunt us with these little ungainly smatterings of detritus, these bits of superfluous flotsam and jetsam hovering around our ratings, distracting us, obliterating our view of our bright, shiny stars"
That is so funny! And then you end it in a benevolent prayer...You are too much!
Lord have mercy! Amen.
Linda
Comment Written 22-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Linda, for the lovely review. Glad it gave you a chuckle :)
