Where Angels Fear to Tread
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Absent"A young man is found alone just miles from a dead
11 total reviews
Comment from Misrael
This story has been very interesting even though some what strange. I enjoyed the read and look forward to reading more in the future. Good read and keep on writing.
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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This story has been very interesting even though some what strange. I enjoyed the read and look forward to reading more in the future. Good read and keep on writing.
Comment Written 26-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Sorry for the delay in responding. Thank you for your kind review and the nice words. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
One thing is true, the rebel in John has vanished and he has a very passive personality. However his remakes are somewhat robotic and leaves one to believe he has been brain washed. No original thoughts of his own. How will he react when his parents arrive? That will be interesting. Well done Gretchen. Nancy
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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One thing is true, the rebel in John has vanished and he has a very passive personality. However his remakes are somewhat robotic and leaves one to believe he has been brain washed. No original thoughts of his own. How will he react when his parents arrive? That will be interesting. Well done Gretchen. Nancy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Sorry for the late reply. Thank you for your wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
So many desperate people, all searching for something, but of course, few knowing where to find it. Leaving them at the mercy of the twisted, taking others advice, the professed believers, of what to do about their own convictions. You are doing a great job of creating real people, and I'm guessing it might get even stranger as it goes on. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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So many desperate people, all searching for something, but of course, few knowing where to find it. Leaving them at the mercy of the twisted, taking others advice, the professed believers, of what to do about their own convictions. You are doing a great job of creating real people, and I'm guessing it might get even stranger as it goes on. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. sorry for the late response. Gretchen
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
At least John/Damon has begun talking to Deputy Dan. Instead of being closed off from the world that he doesn't feel he belongs in. Did the assault on his inner spirit change him permanently? It will be interesting to see what the reaction he has with his parents. Miss Lila has done a number on him, turning his old self into a God loving young man.
Another well written chapter as you describe what he went through not only at home but with Lila. Excellent dialogue between Dan and him.
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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At least John/Damon has begun talking to Deputy Dan. Instead of being closed off from the world that he doesn't feel he belongs in. Did the assault on his inner spirit change him permanently? It will be interesting to see what the reaction he has with his parents. Miss Lila has done a number on him, turning his old self into a God loving young man.
Another well written chapter as you describe what he went through not only at home but with Lila. Excellent dialogue between Dan and him.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Thank you so much for the awesome review. I apologize for the late response. Gretchen
Comment from royowen
Des Gretchen I found myself wincing at the beating of young John, I withheld any judgement, things like that were carried out once upon a time, there was much brutal activity in some religious establiments. Deputy Dan, has been hurt badly as probed by John, loved this strongly written story Gretcen, looking forward to its progression, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Des Gretchen I found myself wincing at the beating of young John, I withheld any judgement, things like that were carried out once upon a time, there was much brutal activity in some religious establiments. Deputy Dan, has been hurt badly as probed by John, loved this strongly written story Gretcen, looking forward to its progression, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-May-2016
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Thank you, Roy, for the wonderful review. I apologize for the late response.
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Most welcome Gretchen
Comment from Jay Squires
A really good chapter, Gretchen. I especially enjoyed the toughness of Lila. She's a hard one to wrap your mind around. Really, sincerely believes she is doing the will of God.
A few considerations:
"Do you think God looks at you and likes what he sees?" Miss Lila had said. [Probably better with "Miss Lila had ASKED."]
"Are you excited to see them?" [Shouldn't it be, "Won't you be excited .? >> Although I can see it being said this way.]
"Well, if it's the same stuff they gave him then my guess is its out of date." [... my guess is IT'S out of date."]
"Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. " [THOUGHTFUL? shall not ? >> also, you had an extra space before closed quote.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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A really good chapter, Gretchen. I especially enjoyed the toughness of Lila. She's a hard one to wrap your mind around. Really, sincerely believes she is doing the will of God.
A few considerations:
"Do you think God looks at you and likes what he sees?" Miss Lila had said. [Probably better with "Miss Lila had ASKED."]
"Are you excited to see them?" [Shouldn't it be, "Won't you be excited .? >> Although I can see it being said this way.]
"Well, if it's the same stuff they gave him then my guess is its out of date." [... my guess is IT'S out of date."]
"Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. " [THOUGHTFUL? shall not ? >> also, you had an extra space before closed quote.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Darn auto correct!lol. I have since changed the spags. Thank you for pointing them out. Miss Lila really does think she's doing God's work. Sometimes that's scarier than someone who's scamming in God's names. There are no limitations in what they will do. Thanks again for the awesome review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
This was a good read. had to check myself when you talked about his beating from Miss Lila then reverted to him in the prison cell after he had been arrested or picked up from the scene near the dead body. One spag I think. "Thou[ghtful] shall not commit adultery. " Did spell check fill the rest in?
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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This was a good read. had to check myself when you talked about his beating from Miss Lila then reverted to him in the prison cell after he had been arrested or picked up from the scene near the dead body. One spag I think. "Thou[ghtful] shall not commit adultery. " Did spell check fill the rest in?
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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It was that cursed auto correct that turned Thou into thoughtful. Lol. Thank you so much for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Gretchen
= Excellent chapter.
= She definitely got his attention.
= As always, great dialogue between your characters.
<> Typo: Thoughtful OR Thou??
= "Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. "
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Hi, Gretchen
= Excellent chapter.
= She definitely got his attention.
= As always, great dialogue between your characters.
<> Typo: Thoughtful OR Thou??
= "Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. "
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review. The stars made my morning. Auto correct decided to correct the Ten Commandments. Thank you for the continued helpful feedback. Gretchen
Comment from Luwana
Very believable! I could feel the sting as if it was me getting whipped. And you have good dialog, except this line:"Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. " I don't understand. Otherwise...really good!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Very believable! I could feel the sting as if it was me getting whipped. And you have good dialog, except this line:"Thoughtful shall not commit adultery. " I don't understand. Otherwise...really good!
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Yes, auto correct decided to rewrite the Ten Commandments. Lol. Thank you so much for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from MTF1955
I liked this chapter. I thought your characters were solidly written and your dialogue moved the story forward. Hope to catch the next part. Mary
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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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I liked this chapter. I thought your characters were solidly written and your dialogue moved the story forward. Hope to catch the next part. Mary
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review. Gretchen
