Driftwood
Free verse22 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Ford
My goodness, this is a beautiful poem. I read it, then reread it three or four more times; it just got better and better. Exquisitely better. You probably don't need any more reviews on it, but I just couldn't help myself.
"...long ago dissolves into yesterday"
"...driftwood snags on fences"
Your images evoke thoughts and feelings and that all humanity shares. And yet we experience this work in a very personal and life-specific way, In other words, its as though the poem were written for each of us, as opposed to all of us.
Don't you just love it when somebody writes a perfect poem?
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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My goodness, this is a beautiful poem. I read it, then reread it three or four more times; it just got better and better. Exquisitely better. You probably don't need any more reviews on it, but I just couldn't help myself.
"...long ago dissolves into yesterday"
"...driftwood snags on fences"
Your images evoke thoughts and feelings and that all humanity shares. And yet we experience this work in a very personal and life-specific way, In other words, its as though the poem were written for each of us, as opposed to all of us.
Don't you just love it when somebody writes a perfect poem?
Comment Written 25-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 26-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Margaret. That's what I found when the reviews came in - that everybody has driftwood of one kind or another.. Interesting tale about how this came to be written, too - three separate fragments - although all penned on a particularly fruitful afternoon. Never intended to be all one poem, but look what emerged!
Steve
Comment from John Parkin
Oh how we carry unwanted baggage but we carry on. How a person deals with that baggage dictates how happy their life. That is what prompts me to think of when I read your poem.
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Oh how we carry unwanted baggage but we carry on. How a person deals with that baggage dictates how happy their life. That is what prompts me to think of when I read your poem.
Comment Written 22-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 25-Apr-2016
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Thanks, John.
Yes, we do carry on - but sometimes we still wish ourselves free of the baggage!
Steve
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Your welcome.
Comment from Serendipity!
This is filled with fascinating thoughts. FanStory is a great place to broaden our mental horizons. I don't know what to choose as my favorite lines, but these are somewhere way at the top:
memory drifts
in and out of focus
in the mind's eye
long ago
dissolves into yesterday
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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This is filled with fascinating thoughts. FanStory is a great place to broaden our mental horizons. I don't know what to choose as my favorite lines, but these are somewhere way at the top:
memory drifts
in and out of focus
in the mind's eye
long ago
dissolves into yesterday
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Thank you for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from strandregs
Another angle steve.
I've never seen a fence on river so I thought you were being silly.
is the fence there to stop the cows going down to carch
salmon or bass?
I like bass but can live with tenor.
some fences are so full of driftwood they cease to be fences and become a drift - would
Wood you agree?
:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Another angle steve.
I've never seen a fence on river so I thought you were being silly.
is the fence there to stop the cows going down to carch
salmon or bass?
I like bass but can live with tenor.
some fences are so full of driftwood they cease to be fences and become a drift - would
Wood you agree?
:-)) Z.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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New regulations in New Zealand mean farmers have to fence off all waterways to stop their stock going in there.(to protect water quality). It wouldn't have done in the old days when the river that divided our farm in half was their main source of drinking water.
And, yes, when the river flooded, the fence-lines were always festooned with foliage and driftwood (or washed away altogether!)
No salmon or bass there (or tenors) but we did have plenty of eels and occasionally mullet which had swum up to spawn.
Steve
Comment from N.K. Wagner
I really like this, Steve. The metaphor is super-effective. It can be pretty hard to free oneself of the past. :) Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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I really like this, Steve. The metaphor is super-effective. It can be pretty hard to free oneself of the past. :) Nancy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Nancy. It certainly seems to have struck a chord with some reviewers.
Steve
Comment from closetpoetjester
Driftwood is a cherished reminder of something special that once was and yes we can cleanse our heart of all the baggage, but the moments that count snag like that driftwood, suspended in time and shaped by the elements from all angles.
Some things are supposed to hang around.
I love driftwood and have a small collection from various parts. Thank you for making me appreciate the time I took to gather it all LOL Some lovely human parallels here...I assume thats what you were going for.
Nicely done, you also have a talent for free verse. Not EVERYone can cross the floor and do both.
Cheers P
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Driftwood is a cherished reminder of something special that once was and yes we can cleanse our heart of all the baggage, but the moments that count snag like that driftwood, suspended in time and shaped by the elements from all angles.
Some things are supposed to hang around.
I love driftwood and have a small collection from various parts. Thank you for making me appreciate the time I took to gather it all LOL Some lovely human parallels here...I assume thats what you were going for.
Nicely done, you also have a talent for free verse. Not EVERYone can cross the floor and do both.
Cheers P
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 22-Apr-2016
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Yep, always trying to give something a little deeper than the obvious literal meaning. You are one of the few who gave driftwood a positive spin.
Steve
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Hard not to give it a positive spin when you collect the stuff haha
Comment from DR DIP
Nice and great accompanying photo, really substantiates the verse.written in non rhyming verse it
a river surges
in turbulent flood
muddy waters rumble
the past is washed clean
but
driftwood snags on fences
nice verse and really sums up the theme. Thanks for sharing
dip
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Nice and great accompanying photo, really substantiates the verse.written in non rhyming verse it
a river surges
in turbulent flood
muddy waters rumble
the past is washed clean
but
driftwood snags on fences
nice verse and really sums up the theme. Thanks for sharing
dip
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Dip.
Steve
Comment from lightink
You covered quite a few elements here, Steve - the air (wind), the water (river), and wood... this makes into an almost balanced poem according to the Chinese 5 elements :), but also it's very dynamic.
Excellent metaphors for the flow of the troubled mind seeking a way to find relief.
Beautiful wording!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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You covered quite a few elements here, Steve - the air (wind), the water (river), and wood... this makes into an almost balanced poem according to the Chinese 5 elements :), but also it's very dynamic.
Excellent metaphors for the flow of the troubled mind seeking a way to find relief.
Beautiful wording!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Well, I have to admit I didn't even consider the five elements! Always interesting to see how a different view can open up new ways of looking at a poem.
Steve
Comment from Leineco
GREAT metaphor!
Why is it we always seem to put up fences
to keep the deadwood from rolling down
the river or blowing in the wind?
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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GREAT metaphor!
Why is it we always seem to put up fences
to keep the deadwood from rolling down
the river or blowing in the wind?
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Now I don't really think that's what the fences were for. O can remember floods being a pain in the butt when I was growing up as our farm had land on bith sides of the river and fences were always washing away or being damaged, and there was no simple way to fence across the river...
Steve
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LOL - I was speaking of the metaphorical
fences and deadwood ;-)
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Yes, of course, but I always want my metaphors to be anchored in the literal, if that makes sense.
Comment from I am Cat
Ah yes, you should see tumbleweeds. Poor things, they live their whole lives as sagebrush... alive in the blazing sun... and when they are finally DEAD< they are alive! They float free as a breeze through the desert only to be caught up on the fences of man. Damn humans! lol
So sad. I just wrote of that in my poem about the Saguaro. ;)
Great free verse, steve, Great word choices and yeah... good job!
Cat
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Ah yes, you should see tumbleweeds. Poor things, they live their whole lives as sagebrush... alive in the blazing sun... and when they are finally DEAD< they are alive! They float free as a breeze through the desert only to be caught up on the fences of man. Damn humans! lol
So sad. I just wrote of that in my poem about the Saguaro. ;)
Great free verse, steve, Great word choices and yeah... good job!
Cat
Comment Written 20-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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yeah, I've seen tumbleweed in action (in Australia, which may be a different variety) Now O would be more likely to say, 'Damn tumbleweed!'
Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
