To Live or Re-Live
poem22 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
My dear friend, Mike. I am so proud of you for writing this awesome poem about a naive girl who is so in love that doesn't see the obvious, and she is made a fool.
This is so well written that is worthy of study for meaning. I am not that smart lol but I can tell is someone you care deeply about, maybe a family member, someone you want to protect. She is a lucky girl to have you on her side. I wonder if she is worthy of your protection, I hope you don't take this personal, but she sounds like a dumb blond. LOL I hope is not your cousin.
Mike, joking aside, this is the best free verse I have ever read, and you know how much I like free verse.
Well done, my friend. :)
*gypsy queen hugs*
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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My dear friend, Mike. I am so proud of you for writing this awesome poem about a naive girl who is so in love that doesn't see the obvious, and she is made a fool.
This is so well written that is worthy of study for meaning. I am not that smart lol but I can tell is someone you care deeply about, maybe a family member, someone you want to protect. She is a lucky girl to have you on her side. I wonder if she is worthy of your protection, I hope you don't take this personal, but she sounds like a dumb blond. LOL I hope is not your cousin.
Mike, joking aside, this is the best free verse I have ever read, and you know how much I like free verse.
Well done, my friend. :)
*gypsy queen hugs*
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Wow. You have the gist of this pretty well. It's meant to apply to whomever reads it. It starts off at birth and people can fit their own life experience in there. In the end, we decide whether we want to live in the past or live in the now basically. Anyway, what an awesome review. Thanks sooo much, Ms. Gypsy Queen of the Star Distribution Network of the Universe Who Gives Them to Sexy Mikey. Irish Long Winded Hugs, mikey
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Wow, I was way off. LOL I do that sometimes. It was very clever of you to write a chameleon story, a one fits all tale. Awesome!
I love my new title. You are getting very creative. Do you give different titles to all the fanstory girls? maybe boys? LoL sorry, that was out of line. I can't help it LMAO I can see you giving a title to a big dude, and he gets all offended and he goes looking for you and...... sorry, my imagination ran away. It's hard to keep that gypsy imagination under control.
* Ms. GYPSY Queen of the Star Distribution Network of the Universe Who Gives Them to Sexy Mike HUGS* LOL you are the sunshine of fanstory. and I can't stop laughing.
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You're the only one who gets titles. No man can take me. I've never lost a fight. Men fear crazy. HAHAHAHA!!!!
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LMAO
Comment from Taffspride
Random thoughts, Life as it is lived was the thought that came to me when I read this.
Who says life's path is straight? Life in all it's glory, and it's tribulations happens
or
live
true
as
you alone
for me those words were most profound.
Thanks for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
 |
Random thoughts, Life as it is lived was the thought that came to me when I read this.
Who says life's path is straight? Life in all it's glory, and it's tribulations happens
or
live
true
as
you alone
for me those words were most profound.
Thanks for sharing.
Iechyd da
Ann
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi, Ann
I'm so pleased you chose those words. YES! Those were the most important words. I'm so pleased you truly got this LONG rambling thing perfectly. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from Liberty Justice
WOW! Golden photo of woman. Must be a loved woman. Poet uses many literary devices such as alliterations metaphors and personifications on lovely background and font of gold. If only you and I could be Blessed By God to acquire millions of dollars in gold. Visit my portfolio. Thanks! liberty justice
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
|
WOW! Golden photo of woman. Must be a loved woman. Poet uses many literary devices such as alliterations metaphors and personifications on lovely background and font of gold. If only you and I could be Blessed By God to acquire millions of dollars in gold. Visit my portfolio. Thanks! liberty justice
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi, Liberty
Love your interpretation. Thanks a million. I'll try and stop by soon. mikey
Comment from Joy Graham
Wow! You left me speechless with this one. I almost pushed the six button. I'm stingy with those sixes. I like the scattering of words all over the page. I like the message you share. Though, I didn't always understand or identify. You kept me reading with interest. I have comprehension issues, and free verse is so foreign to me at the best of times. It really makes me feel like I'm the older generation lol!
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Wow! You left me speechless with this one. I almost pushed the six button. I'm stingy with those sixes. I like the scattering of words all over the page. I like the message you share. Though, I didn't always understand or identify. You kept me reading with interest. I have comprehension issues, and free verse is so foreign to me at the best of times. It really makes me feel like I'm the older generation lol!
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi, Joy
This is certainly not a piece where you would get every line or even half of them. It should have parts that strike you more or less. It really is rambling and straight out of my head. It sounds like you did really well with it to me. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from I am Cat
unbelievably well done.
I loved it. Shows why you are a master of free verse... the alliteration and scattered rhyme is masterfully done, and I absolutely loved it. Was dizzy at the end... oh wait.... I was dizzy at the beginning, wasn't I? Oh well... I still loved it. Great job, Mikey. Unbelievably well done.
some thoughts:
and no one is peeing on anyone's
leg
just this moment when a
friendly
hug will do ...
;) right?
and all who toiled
were soiled from head to somewhere
halfway down and swung around
embroiled embarrassingly shocking
as the impaled one is
you
when your uncle Jane declared to
buy them lace less
shoes
(I love your word play... and I was tempted to put laceless together, but then decided on third reading, that lace less was much more powerful)
but it was Sunday see
and sanctity
dissuaded sense
and holy hell
this makes you shout
some holy names
then Monday comes
thank God
you made it
you are sure to be
okay
(awesomely stated!)
childhood has moveable parts with varying
degrees of sympathy
so insert them here
and then exert them and assert them
as your conscious allows
(wow, I almost felt the need to cry here... or run screaming from the room, but I staid fast)
the fabric of the earth and all upon it
owes
to you
and all you did done did
and will done do
no matter if it's true
for it looks and sounds so very touching
true
and gets you
every pulsing heart
as blue as love
that's true
for even though you lie
(best parts EVER!... especially the first parts of this... omg)
the story burns a campfire
worth of sugared goo
and diabetic comas
soon ensue
and pocket watches vanish
to the local pawn shop
(wow... this is what you do SO well, Mikey!)
items flew
while sleeping someone deftly had
their
way
with
you
but smile for that sweet
story
could've have been so gruesome
gory
(actually, it WAS a gruesome story... and THIS part REALLY got me. :( )
[and] the thought of special sauce
slathered on a
(great alliteration!)
char-broiled burger
keeps the sea from winning
this
war of attrition
(again with the alliteration)
for the solemn sad admission
(my favorite part!)
gets a pounding and it's lost within
a frolic as two lovers
who got lucky
linger long enough to put the
lonely shell up to their ear
and hear the whispered plea
of that poor fool that couldn't be
what everyone is born
for
(wow! so poignant)
can't you see?
you are born to live the life
that's meant to be
not to dwell in some
conundrum pulling at some knot
that wasn't meant for you
to try and loosen and untie
and there's no answer if you do
and no time left now for you
and just a little rope
and it won't serve you well
you ponder destinations but you've already
arrived
(the crux of the poem right here... wow)
This shows Mikey at his best.
IMHO.
;)
Cat
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
|
unbelievably well done.
I loved it. Shows why you are a master of free verse... the alliteration and scattered rhyme is masterfully done, and I absolutely loved it. Was dizzy at the end... oh wait.... I was dizzy at the beginning, wasn't I? Oh well... I still loved it. Great job, Mikey. Unbelievably well done.
some thoughts:
and no one is peeing on anyone's
leg
just this moment when a
friendly
hug will do ...
;) right?
and all who toiled
were soiled from head to somewhere
halfway down and swung around
embroiled embarrassingly shocking
as the impaled one is
you
when your uncle Jane declared to
buy them lace less
shoes
(I love your word play... and I was tempted to put laceless together, but then decided on third reading, that lace less was much more powerful)
but it was Sunday see
and sanctity
dissuaded sense
and holy hell
this makes you shout
some holy names
then Monday comes
thank God
you made it
you are sure to be
okay
(awesomely stated!)
childhood has moveable parts with varying
degrees of sympathy
so insert them here
and then exert them and assert them
as your conscious allows
(wow, I almost felt the need to cry here... or run screaming from the room, but I staid fast)
the fabric of the earth and all upon it
owes
to you
and all you did done did
and will done do
no matter if it's true
for it looks and sounds so very touching
true
and gets you
every pulsing heart
as blue as love
that's true
for even though you lie
(best parts EVER!... especially the first parts of this... omg)
the story burns a campfire
worth of sugared goo
and diabetic comas
soon ensue
and pocket watches vanish
to the local pawn shop
(wow... this is what you do SO well, Mikey!)
items flew
while sleeping someone deftly had
their
way
with
you
but smile for that sweet
story
could've have been so gruesome
gory
(actually, it WAS a gruesome story... and THIS part REALLY got me. :( )
[and] the thought of special sauce
slathered on a
(great alliteration!)
char-broiled burger
keeps the sea from winning
this
war of attrition
(again with the alliteration)
for the solemn sad admission
(my favorite part!)
gets a pounding and it's lost within
a frolic as two lovers
who got lucky
linger long enough to put the
lonely shell up to their ear
and hear the whispered plea
of that poor fool that couldn't be
what everyone is born
for
(wow! so poignant)
can't you see?
you are born to live the life
that's meant to be
not to dwell in some
conundrum pulling at some knot
that wasn't meant for you
to try and loosen and untie
and there's no answer if you do
and no time left now for you
and just a little rope
and it won't serve you well
you ponder destinations but you've already
arrived
(the crux of the poem right here... wow)
This shows Mikey at his best.
IMHO.
;)
Cat
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
-
Gee whiz, Ms. Cat
I'm kind of speechless. I'm so thrilled that you read this and have so many comments and insights. You highlighted and pointed out some areas where I would expect you too. I was hoping this would be broad enough to allow for personal experience to fit as long as someone didn't live a fairytail life. Well, all I can say is thanks for reading so thoroughly and for so much understanding. You can imagine that not everyone understands especially the dude that gave me a two. HAHAHA! mikey
Comment from Joyce Long
My this is very different. I am not certain what you were referring to as you wrote this poem, but I am reminded of a friend who had been in prison and then returned to our small town "new life." No one knows what to do but "a friendly hug would do." Very interesting.
Joyce 04-18-16
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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My this is very different. I am not certain what you were referring to as you wrote this poem, but I am reminded of a friend who had been in prison and then returned to our small town "new life." No one knows what to do but "a friendly hug would do." Very interesting.
Joyce 04-18-16
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi, Joyce
How interesting. Yeah, a friendly hug is always a good thing for some reason. LOL
This is a difficult to explain one. Life from birth to the present and what to do when we arrive here. Thanks for reading. mikey
Comment from BruceMiller
I am sorry; this kind of "poetry" just isn't my cup of tea. I am certain that many people will say that it is great, but, unfortunately, I don't understand the point of this type of rambling. Because I didn't understand your writing, I did not down-grade the rating; It may actually be good. Cheers.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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I am sorry; this kind of "poetry" just isn't my cup of tea. I am certain that many people will say that it is great, but, unfortunately, I don't understand the point of this type of rambling. Because I didn't understand your writing, I did not down-grade the rating; It may actually be good. Cheers.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Bruce
I always appreciate your honesty and the fact you give something a chance. I also appreciate the benefit of the doubt. Not everyone will do that. Thanks so much. mikey
Comment from Ulla
Hi Michael. This is different to say the least, and I had to read very carefully to get a meaning out of it. I've managed to a certain extend, I think. There were passages I really liked and some I downright didn't understand. The five reflects what I did understand. Yet, I still need to ask :
'The fabric of the
earth and all upon it owes to you
and all you did did done did
and will done do
no matter if it's true.'
Ok the first two lines are ok, but what on earth do you mean by the next two that looks like grammar, and language gone haywire. And of course I can read the last line. Call me brain dead, Lol, but those two lines I need to have explained.
All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Hi Michael. This is different to say the least, and I had to read very carefully to get a meaning out of it. I've managed to a certain extend, I think. There were passages I really liked and some I downright didn't understand. The five reflects what I did understand. Yet, I still need to ask :
'The fabric of the
earth and all upon it owes to you
and all you did did done did
and will done do
no matter if it's true.'
Ok the first two lines are ok, but what on earth do you mean by the next two that looks like grammar, and language gone haywire. And of course I can read the last line. Call me brain dead, Lol, but those two lines I need to have explained.
All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Most of that is just word play, having fun with the words.
Like saying I know that you know that I know you know. It's hard to explain. It's not real important as far as meaning. It's more for the sound of it while reading. :))
Grammar and language gone haywire is pretty accurate, Ulla!!! I suppose that's what it is. LOL I'm glad you liked the rest of it. Thanks for taking the time to try and figure that out. I so appreciate the time you spent. I'm sorry about those lines. They're kind of a silly joke really. mikey
Comment from jane.fallon
I love this. I can see myself reading this over and over. This poem could go down in history with people asking, "what did he mean here?" Just like people still read different interpretations of American Pie. You, my friend, have a very clever brain. Well done and all the best
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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I love this. I can see myself reading this over and over. This poem could go down in history with people asking, "what did he mean here?" Just like people still read different interpretations of American Pie. You, my friend, have a very clever brain. Well done and all the best
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
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Wow, Jane
I'm speechless. What absolutely beautiful words to hear. I'm so delighted with this wonderful review. I may never stop smiling. Thanks so very much. mikey
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That's ok. God bless you (He certainly has blessed you)
Comment from tuscer02
This seems to me to be a collection of all sorts of different thoughts and themes without any form or sense. Sorry but I could not understand it at all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
 |
This seems to me to be a collection of all sorts of different thoughts and themes without any form or sense. Sorry but I could not understand it at all.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2016
-
You should know that reviews are open to the public. So everyone can read what you write to people as far as your opinions etc. It's often helpful when a piece is beyond your understanding to take advantage of some of the other reviewers expertise and perhaps learn something about forms and styles you aren't familiar with. Usually a review of "needs improvement" is accompanied by suggestions as to how a piece might be improved. Considering you've rated this one of the poorest pieces written on this site, help in improving it would be appreciated if you can provide it. In any case, thanks for reading and offering your opinion. I hope I was able to help explain the reviewing process more fully to you. mikey
