Where Angels Fear to Tread
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "In Tune"A young man is found alone just miles from a dead
13 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I like it. You did a good job writing the descriptions and the emotion. I enjoyed both. I understanding posting short for numerous reasons.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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I like it. You did a good job writing the descriptions and the emotion. I enjoyed both. I understanding posting short for numerous reasons.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Barbara. I appreciate the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
I feel this is the perfect length. You tell us about how Donna seems to blame herself for Damon's change. Remembering how they were when he was young, then playing the piano. Blake discovers his wife on the piano, showers and realizes it will be a long night. Damon is in a world all his own. He feels something is up but has no idea what is coming. Good chapter in length and I like how you ended it.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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I feel this is the perfect length. You tell us about how Donna seems to blame herself for Damon's change. Remembering how they were when he was young, then playing the piano. Blake discovers his wife on the piano, showers and realizes it will be a long night. Damon is in a world all his own. He feels something is up but has no idea what is coming. Good chapter in length and I like how you ended it.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you for your wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from Ric Myworld
Donna's thoughts are similar to most every other mother in the world in the beginning. Thinking their poor, sweet child who was such a cute and wonderful little kid just couldn't be doing all those awful things. Never dreaming they aren't the same people anymore. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Donna's thoughts are similar to most every other mother in the world in the beginning. Thinking their poor, sweet child who was such a cute and wonderful little kid just couldn't be doing all those awful things. Never dreaming they aren't the same people anymore. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Ric. As always, I thank you for reading and appreciate the feedback. Gretchen
Comment from Chris Walker
Well written and a nice glimpse into Damon--who's pushing the envelop with his juvenile behavior. Nice transition chapter for the reader to catch their breath before Ms. Lila arrives on the scene again. Chris
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Well written and a nice glimpse into Damon--who's pushing the envelop with his juvenile behavior. Nice transition chapter for the reader to catch their breath before Ms. Lila arrives on the scene again. Chris
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you for you great review. I am done with Damon's back story for now. Next chapter we get a glimpse into Miss Lila's "therapy". Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Well he is in for a big surprise after school on Friday. He will be wishing it was his mother nagging him after a few sessions with Miss Lila no doubt. What makes some kids take such a narrow path during puberty? It is almost like they are possessed by the devil.Carry on Gretchen. Good job. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Well he is in for a big surprise after school on Friday. He will be wishing it was his mother nagging him after a few sessions with Miss Lila no doubt. What makes some kids take such a narrow path during puberty? It is almost like they are possessed by the devil.Carry on Gretchen. Good job. Nancy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Nancy. Your kind review helps keep me focused. I firmly believe the devil whispers in some kids' ears. It takes nagging parents to drown that out.
Comment from royowen
It's such s tragedy when a mum loses touch with her child, Damon seems to be revelling in his juvenility, the loss of contact between a parent and their child is so sad, Damon needs an attitude change, well done, Gretchen, great story in three scenes, well done, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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It's such s tragedy when a mum loses touch with her child, Damon seems to be revelling in his juvenility, the loss of contact between a parent and their child is so sad, Damon needs an attitude change, well done, Gretchen, great story in three scenes, well done, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Children change before our very eyes. While some changes are expected and fine, others need to be nipped in the bud. Lol. Thank you for the understanding review. Gretchen
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They do Gretchen
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi, Gretchen
= Well written! Excellent detail.
= A lot packed into a shorter chapter, but every word/action counted.
= I like getting a little pov from each of them.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Hi, Gretchen
= Well written! Excellent detail.
= A lot packed into a shorter chapter, but every word/action counted.
= I like getting a little pov from each of them.
=::= A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside Down! =::=
Jacqueline M Franklin (*_*)
=::= Feel free to visit my profile on Amazon.com =::=
amazon.com/author/jacquelinefranklin
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Jackie. I appreciate the read and review. Gretchen
Comment from Sankey
Good mystery. Interesting about the secret room in the closet. had to get my thoughts together figuring out the story but all's good. Just one change suggested.He had only found it (by)[on] accident.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Good mystery. Interesting about the secret room in the closet. had to get my thoughts together figuring out the story but all's good. Just one change suggested.He had only found it (by)[on] accident.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you. You're the second person to correct the on/by accident. Must be a local thing I use. Lol. Thanks for the read and review. Gretchen
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Whatever you like mate. Our lingos even in English are all different. Boston or its state is the only place in USA that is most the same as Old Dart (England)and Australia.
Comment from Sis Cat
Very intriguing. Your prose is clean. I enjoyed your cast of characters and the unfulfilled expectations between Damon, Blake, and Donna. I read this twice and I enjoyed the breeziness of your storytelling style. The secret room in back of the closet was sweet and mysterious and also forbidden. This chapter and your writing engaged my imagination. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Very intriguing. Your prose is clean. I enjoyed your cast of characters and the unfulfilled expectations between Damon, Blake, and Donna. I read this twice and I enjoyed the breeziness of your storytelling style. The secret room in back of the closet was sweet and mysterious and also forbidden. This chapter and your writing engaged my imagination. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the nice words. Gretchen
Comment from tuscer02
The story is well written and the plot builds nicely throughout.
Some minor niggles I had were:
If it was silly to look at one point in time why is she continuing to think about it?
she thinks - He needed this - needed what? there is no reference before to latch this comment on to.
Once Blake got out of bed how did he know it was going to be the longest night of their lives?
The boy finds the room 'on accident' - should be 'by accident' I think.
Then the boy found 'he'd gone through' - no he hadn't the ball did!
Lastly - 'she put it? - the two sentences together here are just a little clumsy in the reading.
All the above points just need a little tweaking to make the bits read more logically.
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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The story is well written and the plot builds nicely throughout.
Some minor niggles I had were:
If it was silly to look at one point in time why is she continuing to think about it?
she thinks - He needed this - needed what? there is no reference before to latch this comment on to.
Once Blake got out of bed how did he know it was going to be the longest night of their lives?
The boy finds the room 'on accident' - should be 'by accident' I think.
Then the boy found 'he'd gone through' - no he hadn't the ball did!
Lastly - 'she put it? - the two sentences together here are just a little clumsy in the reading.
All the above points just need a little tweaking to make the bits read more logically.
Comment Written 17-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 17-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and the helpful critique. Gretchen
