Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Old Owl "Story telling poems
22 total reviews
Comment from chasennov
The legend of the Owl. Old Owl.' Legends are born and lost, and reborn again. No one can prove or disprove them. They belong to the people who believe in them. So be it then. Very well done.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
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The legend of the Owl. Old Owl.' Legends are born and lost, and reborn again. No one can prove or disprove them. They belong to the people who believe in them. So be it then. Very well done.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
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thank you , I enjoyed this challenge
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You are most welcome, jusylee.
Comment from winnona
This is a very well written entry. I really enjoyed reading it. Is it one you were told or one of your own stories. I have bookmarked your piece and would like to share it on my facebook page and with my daughter. Could I do that?
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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This is a very well written entry. I really enjoyed reading it. Is it one you were told or one of your own stories. I have bookmarked your piece and would like to share it on my facebook page and with my daughter. Could I do that?
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Of Course , That is so flattering to me. I have been following your writing also. So wonderful.
Comment from Ben Colder
You mention Indians is the American Native tribes, if so the Owl is a symbol of death among the Choctaw. I am Choctaw Breed. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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You mention Indians is the American Native tribes, if so the Owl is a symbol of death among the Choctaw. I am Choctaw Breed. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Wow, That is such a wonderful thing to know. I wonder if I could weave that in the story. Maybe that would why the Indians loved and feared him. Love inside knowledge like that.
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Not sure the artist name but I did a story about my people and the first move of our nation of the tribal removal act of 1830. -Andrew Jackson's time in office. Some artist had a photo drawn with owls in a tree warning of the trail of tears. Hope you win your contest.
Comment from RYME4U
Owls have always fascinated me. This is excellent and it follows th contest rules to a Tee,You have chosen your words well and presented this in a very attractive way. Great job!.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Owls have always fascinated me. This is excellent and it follows th contest rules to a Tee,You have chosen your words well and presented this in a very attractive way. Great job!.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Thank you, I enjoyed this prompt so much.
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Great legion of the owl with the Indian story. I like how the owl gave up seeing the gardens of flowers to survive. He watches and asks us who - who. Owls are so beautiful. We each have our uniqueness. I like your story! God bless! flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Great legion of the owl with the Indian story. I like how the owl gave up seeing the gardens of flowers to survive. He watches and asks us who - who. Owls are so beautiful. We each have our uniqueness. I like your story! God bless! flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Fun contest and I enjoyed writing with so many good authors.
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I enjoyed your legion. Keep writing. Chat again!
(I was too tired to write!)
flylikeaneagle
Comment from Halfree
A very good story line that needs some help. I am not quite sure if this is a free verse poem or just a narrative with a loose structure. The story starts in the first person singular and in the second line it seems to change "This wide eyed wonder of the world.." Maybe "...of the night." sounds as if a narrator has taken over the telling.
I am not sure who is telling the story or poem; sometimes is sounds as if the owl is telling the story and at other time, a narrator.
Line "for I am almost human." seems out of place. No supporting statements or lead-in..
Good idea and some thought provoking statements in this posting but, always the but, it needs some rewriting keeping in it a singular voice.
I suggest it be told by a narrator, maybe a old man , native American, around a campfire.
Think this has great potential...needs some work, Hope to read a revised posting very soon.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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A very good story line that needs some help. I am not quite sure if this is a free verse poem or just a narrative with a loose structure. The story starts in the first person singular and in the second line it seems to change "This wide eyed wonder of the world.." Maybe "...of the night." sounds as if a narrator has taken over the telling.
I am not sure who is telling the story or poem; sometimes is sounds as if the owl is telling the story and at other time, a narrator.
Line "for I am almost human." seems out of place. No supporting statements or lead-in..
Good idea and some thought provoking statements in this posting but, always the but, it needs some rewriting keeping in it a singular voice.
I suggest it be told by a narrator, maybe a old man , native American, around a campfire.
Think this has great potential...needs some work, Hope to read a revised posting very soon.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Those are wonderful suggestions that I will truly take to heart. Thank you I am printing your review now so that I will have it when I edit.
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Please let me know when you post again...think you have a great story.
Comment from LIJ Red
A hard choice in my youth-spare the great horned owl and let him continue to kill my pet bantam chickens, or trap him and shoot him?
The owl is truly a beautiful, admirable bird. Excellent free verse disguised as prose fiction.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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A hard choice in my youth-spare the great horned owl and let him continue to kill my pet bantam chickens, or trap him and shoot him?
The owl is truly a beautiful, admirable bird. Excellent free verse disguised as prose fiction.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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I think what I write should be called Prosety. sigh, I don't fit in. No, that is fine I like the critiques.
Comment from Babydeedee
I loved your story. I have never heard it before, it is really lovely. I empathize with the wise man who must accept what he is given. Very powerful, it changed my view of owls.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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I loved your story. I have never heard it before, it is really lovely. I empathize with the wise man who must accept what he is given. Very powerful, it changed my view of owls.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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thank you I had fun writing with this challenging prompt.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
I think you have done the old owl proud in this piece. I am not sure whether it is prose or poem though. Formatted like poetry?
Good use of the Indian story to give the legitimacy to the legend.
Best of luck
GMG
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Hi there,
I think you have done the old owl proud in this piece. I am not sure whether it is prose or poem though. Formatted like poetry?
Good use of the Indian story to give the legitimacy to the legend.
Best of luck
GMG
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Thank you. I have decided that my style of writing is PROSETY. I like to write that way but it gets criticized as being a poem by prosers and Prose by poets. I don't mind the criticism. That is why I am here. It's just judy. Its the way I think. Always love hearing from you. Your honest is refreshing.
Comment from chcbeck
I was particularly drawn to this story as I love owls. Your story didn't let me down. You explain the mysteries of the owl in a great way. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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I was particularly drawn to this story as I love owls. Your story didn't let me down. You explain the mysteries of the owl in a great way. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. This was a great challenge
