Life's Observations and Reflections
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "A Child's Cry"This is my prologue for the NaPoWriMo 2016 (30 Poe
18 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
You conveyed the ultimate heartbreak in your poem--I am so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age. Being one of nine children had to be a challenge in itself. Your rhymed couplets in quatrains added to the intensity of your message, and your final line is quite poignant. Warm regards and best wishes in the contest-
Joan
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
  |
You conveyed the ultimate heartbreak in your poem--I am so sorry you lost your mother at such a young age. Being one of nine children had to be a challenge in itself. Your rhymed couplets in quatrains added to the intensity of your message, and your final line is quite poignant. Warm regards and best wishes in the contest-
Joan
Comment Written 13-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much, Joan. Yes, there were quite a few challenges in life facing me at that time...
I had my book published 4 years ago, entitled 'Mama" based on my memoirs. You may remember it, as I had all chapters reviewed on Fanstory as it developed. It is available on Amazon under my own name - Marijke Lockwood, if you are interested. Thanks for your kind comments, Joan, and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
-
Thank you for the reminder that you published the full story in your memoir. I am glad life's challenges have subsided. Sweet dreams- Joan
Comment from robyn corum
Fiona,
This is definitely a story of heartbreak - well written to induce those tender feelings in the reader. Great job.
Favorite lines:
The nuns say an angel you will be
There are enough angels, there's only one me
Good luck!
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
|
Fiona,
This is definitely a story of heartbreak - well written to induce those tender feelings in the reader. Great job.
Favorite lines:
The nuns say an angel you will be
There are enough angels, there's only one me
Good luck!
Comment Written 12-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much for your kind and generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Connie C
What a very sad poem this is and one in which I can feel your sorrow as you have expressed it so vividly here. I can only imagine how it must have felt to have lost your mother at such an early age.
The last line makes a tremendous impact as you try to console your father while you, too, are saddened.
My best to you in the contest. This truly is a story of heart break.
Connie
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
|
What a very sad poem this is and one in which I can feel your sorrow as you have expressed it so vividly here. I can only imagine how it must have felt to have lost your mother at such an early age.
The last line makes a tremendous impact as you try to console your father while you, too, are saddened.
My best to you in the contest. This truly is a story of heart break.
Connie
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
Thanks you very much, Connie, for your kind review and comments. I am pleased I was able to convey the sadness of both myself and my Papa... Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from l.raven
OMG tears...Fiona...this is one of the most heartbreaking poems I have ever read...I know how hard it is to ;lose someone...but your mother...and at ten...a time when you need her so much...and for so many children to be left alone...I know there will be a time all of you will see her again...I am so sorry for the loss of your mother...your poem is very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
|
OMG tears...Fiona...this is one of the most heartbreaking poems I have ever read...I know how hard it is to ;lose someone...but your mother...and at ten...a time when you need her so much...and for so many children to be left alone...I know there will be a time all of you will see her again...I am so sorry for the loss of your mother...your poem is very well written...Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
Hi Linda, thank you so much for your emotional response to this poem. Although it has been so many years, I still become that little girl again when I look at my Mama's photo. Her loss had a big impact on my life... Thanks again for your review and generous rating. Warmest regards, Marjke :o)
-
Hi Marjke, our mothers are very special people...sigh...you are always so welcome...xxoo hugs
Comment from write hand blue
How sad dying at such a young age and leaving nine small children in need of their Mum.
A very well written and heartfelt poem, with a deep sadness and a heart break last line... 'Papa, Papa please don't cry...'
Good luck in the contest... ~Mel~
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
|
How sad dying at such a young age and leaving nine small children in need of their Mum.
A very well written and heartfelt poem, with a deep sadness and a heart break last line... 'Papa, Papa please don't cry...'
Good luck in the contest... ~Mel~
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
Hi and thank you so much, Mel, for your kind review and comments and generous rating. Warmest regards.
Comment from ~Dovey
I really enjoyed your poem and the inspiration you drew to write this lovely poem for your Mama. Your author's notes really augment the meaning behind the poem. I love the rhyme scheme and the breaking with a traditional format to add the last line, such strength it adds to the poem.
Great addition to your book!
Kim
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
|
I really enjoyed your poem and the inspiration you drew to write this lovely poem for your Mama. Your author's notes really augment the meaning behind the poem. I love the rhyme scheme and the breaking with a traditional format to add the last line, such strength it adds to the poem.
Great addition to your book!
Kim
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much for your comments and your kind and generous rating, Kim. This one was very close to my heart. Every time I write something about my Mama's passing, so long ago, I become that confused little girl again. Thanks again, and warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from William Ross
the pleas of a child's cry knowing her mother is going to die. great write good rhyming and rhythm great chapter in your book. Great read. have a good day.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
|
the pleas of a child's cry knowing her mother is going to die. great write good rhyming and rhythm great chapter in your book. Great read. have a good day.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
Thank you so much for your kind comments and your very generous review. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Dutchie
Hi Marijke. This is a heartbreaking poem, indeed. It tells how much impact the loss of your Mama had on your life. The last goodbye, it must have been so hard, for I know how much you loved your Mama. Love the picture, because that's the way I remember her. Wonderful poem and expressed right from the heart.
Hugs Fietje xxxxxxxxxxx
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
 |
Hi Marijke. This is a heartbreaking poem, indeed. It tells how much impact the loss of your Mama had on your life. The last goodbye, it must have been so hard, for I know how much you loved your Mama. Love the picture, because that's the way I remember her. Wonderful poem and expressed right from the heart.
Hugs Fietje xxxxxxxxxxx
Comment Written 10-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2016
-
HI Fietje. Yes, I think you know how Mama's death impacted me, and made me who I am today! Thank you so much, my friend, for those lovely stars and your supportive review and comments. Love and warmest regards, Marijke :o) xxxxx
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
WOW! Your poem is strong and sad at the same time. The presentation is great--the color scheme, the picture, the heart-felt words. You make the reader feel as though they are right there in that room with your mother and hearing all the talk. Good job. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
|
WOW! Your poem is strong and sad at the same time. The presentation is great--the color scheme, the picture, the heart-felt words. You make the reader feel as though they are right there in that room with your mother and hearing all the talk. Good job. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
-
Thanks jannypan for your kind review and good luck wishes. Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
Comment from Liberty Justice
Such a sorrowful horrendous plea from a child. Such a true sadness for child endure. Poet flows with spirutual
reverence sense urgency. liberty justice
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
|
Such a sorrowful horrendous plea from a child. Such a true sadness for child endure. Poet flows with spirutual
reverence sense urgency. liberty justice
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
-
Thanks so much, Liberty Justice, for your kind and very generous review. They are truly appreciated.
Warmest regards, Marijke :o)
-
Stop by my portfolio.
perhaps more people
Will participate in events.
liberty justice
-
With whom do you have
your book for sale?
-
Where do you find your
photos?
