Musings Of My Muddled Mind
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "The Only Way is Up"NaPoWriMo April 2016
20 total reviews
Comment from patcelaw
Sounds like quite a run. It is my goal to have my back to get better so I can at least take a walk of a quarter of a mile. Right now I do well to walk around the grocery store to shop. Patricia
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Sounds like quite a run. It is my goal to have my back to get better so I can at least take a walk of a quarter of a mile. Right now I do well to walk around the grocery store to shop. Patricia
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from Connie C
Good for you, Debra, not only because you run but because you run uphill in the rain! I used to run a little years ago until I realized that I ran too fast--I'd wear myself out after only half a mile because I didn't know how to slow down.
All that running keeps you in shape so that you can keep up with your family. Sounds like you are a busy lady.
What a fun poem this was to read.
Connie
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Good for you, Debra, not only because you run but because you run uphill in the rain! I used to run a little years ago until I realized that I ran too fast--I'd wear myself out after only half a mile because I didn't know how to slow down.
All that running keeps you in shape so that you can keep up with your family. Sounds like you are a busy lady.
What a fun poem this was to read.
Connie
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from Slythytove2
Damn it. I hit something and my whole lesson went away. I was explaining the two ways we could use our example of" lake- druid- did you get that or is the whole page gone. I went into some possible corrections in the running poem. Did you get that?
E-mail might be easier for me, that way I'd be less likely to erase the whole thing like I fear I just did and I'll have the whole page in front of me at all times instead of just this one little snippet. My E-mail address is Toejangles@aol.com. When I write to you I'll"subject line" each time by using my usual subject- Freeway exit 43- that way you'll know it's from me.
Please tell me you got the first part of the critique on" running". If not I'll redo it.
Chuck
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Damn it. I hit something and my whole lesson went away. I was explaining the two ways we could use our example of" lake- druid- did you get that or is the whole page gone. I went into some possible corrections in the running poem. Did you get that?
E-mail might be easier for me, that way I'd be less likely to erase the whole thing like I fear I just did and I'll have the whole page in front of me at all times instead of just this one little snippet. My E-mail address is Toejangles@aol.com. When I write to you I'll"subject line" each time by using my usual subject- Freeway exit 43- that way you'll know it's from me.
Please tell me you got the first part of the critique on" running". If not I'll redo it.
Chuck
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Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Consider yourself lucky that you can run, young lady!!! I wish I could get my old bones to WALK fast up a hill, LOL!!! I did go to the gym today, just so as you know I am not quite a couch potato, the 'nice & easy for seniors' that's me! Wait til you reach my age, you will wish you could still run up that hill. Keep it up! :) Sandra xxx
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Consider yourself lucky that you can run, young lady!!! I wish I could get my old bones to WALK fast up a hill, LOL!!! I did go to the gym today, just so as you know I am not quite a couch potato, the 'nice & easy for seniors' that's me! Wait til you reach my age, you will wish you could still run up that hill. Keep it up! :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from foxangie123
This you wrote was what I call fun reading. It is amazing and down right great. Love it. My heart strings needed a break and this was it and then some. Wow.
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This you wrote was what I call fun reading. It is amazing and down right great. Love it. My heart strings needed a break and this was it and then some. Wow.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from krys123
Hello Debra;
-when I used to run at the end of my journey I used to have a large and steep hill at the end of my jogging. And I could identify with the pain that you obtained from running that hill. The burning in the calves in the thigh and especially the aching in your ribs from the breathing that you're taking in.
- your poem's rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each of your lines therefore making your reading to flow smoothly.
-the rhythmic meter, cadence and timing while helpful in making the reading player, fluid and very easy.
-thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Debra.
Alex
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Hello Debra;
-when I used to run at the end of my journey I used to have a large and steep hill at the end of my jogging. And I could identify with the pain that you obtained from running that hill. The burning in the calves in the thigh and especially the aching in your ribs from the breathing that you're taking in.
- your poem's rhyming words were contingent and supportive to the meaning and concept of each of your lines therefore making your reading to flow smoothly.
-the rhythmic meter, cadence and timing while helpful in making the reading player, fluid and very easy.
-thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always Debra.
Alex
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from fastdigits
An interestingly formatted poem that
runs in poetic artistry that paint this
picture of the man running up the
hill in the rain to complement the
choice of art work selected.
Well done
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An interestingly formatted poem that
runs in poetic artistry that paint this
picture of the man running up the
hill in the rain to complement the
choice of art work selected.
Well done
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from Douglas Paul
I give you a lot of credit for running in the rain. Your determination seems to be strong. It's one of those things that you don't necessarily enjoy while you're doing it, but gives you a deep satisfaction after you've finished
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I give you a lot of credit for running in the rain. Your determination seems to be strong. It's one of those things that you don't necessarily enjoy while you're doing it, but gives you a deep satisfaction after you've finished
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from robyn corum
Debra --
This was a delightful poem about your morning, your jog, and life! hahaha -- My only suggestion MIGHT be to consider changing 'ain't' to 'isn't' for the syllable count. Otherwise, loved it!
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Debra --
This was a delightful poem about your morning, your jog, and life! hahaha -- My only suggestion MIGHT be to consider changing 'ain't' to 'isn't' for the syllable count. Otherwise, loved it!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I ran up Elmsall Hill today --
a quarter mile of pain,
finale of my morning jog
and in torrential rain.
The thing is, I live at the top,
so when my run was done,
the only way back home was up
and up-running ain't fun.
I enjoyed your poem. It has great flow and sound rhyme. The picture is perfect. The reader does get a sense of dread from your words. Good job and thanks for sharing.
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|
I ran up Elmsall Hill today --
a quarter mile of pain,
finale of my morning jog
and in torrential rain.
The thing is, I live at the top,
so when my run was done,
the only way back home was up
and up-running ain't fun.
I enjoyed your poem. It has great flow and sound rhyme. The picture is perfect. The reader does get a sense of dread from your words. Good job and thanks for sharing.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
