Of Poets and Poetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Ruminations on Life In Alaska"NaPoWriMo 2016 Challenge (30 Poems in April)
14 total reviews
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
I haven;t seen this form before. I enjoy Rumi's work and I enjoyed your Rumi-style poem as well. I shall have to try this form sometime, Well done, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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I haven;t seen this form before. I enjoy Rumi's work and I enjoyed your Rumi-style poem as well. I shall have to try this form sometime, Well done, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi Debbie,
I am really glad you enjoyed this one. It was a completely new experience for me. I really wasn't familiar with Rumi, other than a cursory acquaintance, so to speak. I was really surprised in my research that he was referred to as the #1 Poet in America. I'm thinking that must be because so many different people have translated his work. Thanks for the great review.
Kim
Comment from Helen Bach
Great job on this Kim, I think you have been successful in having each couplet as a stand alone poem. What better word than 'love' as the one to repeat. You choice of '...ing' words were fine additions. As always I found your author notes almost as enjoyable as your poem xx
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Great job on this Kim, I think you have been successful in having each couplet as a stand alone poem. What better word than 'love' as the one to repeat. You choice of '...ing' words were fine additions. As always I found your author notes almost as enjoyable as your poem xx
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Helen. Ghazal's are traditionally a love poem, so it was a natural choice. :) I enjoyed exploring this style. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Kim
Comment from honeytree
The art work is really something
The words are very interesting
A lot ha been said in these words
Nature our weather and all life
is very special in every way.
Honeytree
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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The art work is really something
The words are very interesting
A lot ha been said in these words
Nature our weather and all life
is very special in every way.
Honeytree
Comment Written 09-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2016
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Hi Annie! Thanks for another great review! I appreciate you reading and commenting.
Kim
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that's fine.
annie
Comment from Leineco
I applaud your taking this form on! I have been working with
this form for something like 10 years and find the extension
of the refrain phrase over multiple stanzas to be very demanding.
In my case, I was taught that the first lines of each stanza were
all supposed to rhyme with each other too! (and for the Imperial
form all lines must rhyme) i.e.
What morsels of delight I fantasize
could I but feast with my voyeuring eyes
The hidden treats you modestly disguise
I long to taste with my exploring eyes
As sparrows flit and glide in dawn's blushed skies
woulds't I indulge with my cavorting eyes
I pray that you will heed my lovestruck sighs
as I beseech with my imploring eyes
And if thou cans't permit what chivalry belies
let also hands and lips ally... with my adoring eyes.
I think I like this alternate (freer) version better :-) Maybe I'll try
it soon. (after the month of gogyoshi is done) It seems to open up
so many possibilities :-)
Cudos for showing this exotic form!!!
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016
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I applaud your taking this form on! I have been working with
this form for something like 10 years and find the extension
of the refrain phrase over multiple stanzas to be very demanding.
In my case, I was taught that the first lines of each stanza were
all supposed to rhyme with each other too! (and for the Imperial
form all lines must rhyme) i.e.
What morsels of delight I fantasize
could I but feast with my voyeuring eyes
The hidden treats you modestly disguise
I long to taste with my exploring eyes
As sparrows flit and glide in dawn's blushed skies
woulds't I indulge with my cavorting eyes
I pray that you will heed my lovestruck sighs
as I beseech with my imploring eyes
And if thou cans't permit what chivalry belies
let also hands and lips ally... with my adoring eyes.
I think I like this alternate (freer) version better :-) Maybe I'll try
it soon. (after the month of gogyoshi is done) It seems to open up
so many possibilities :-)
Cudos for showing this exotic form!!!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2016
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Hi Leineco!
I really enjoyed reading the origin of the Ghazal (there is a link in my author's notes) I could imagine the poets engaging their audience as they recited the poems. A rich history, indeed. Thank you for the wonderful comments and sharing a Ghazal with me. In the Imperial version, was there not a requirement of the 'signature' of the author, or reference to, in the final couplet? Ciliverde also is a writer of Ghazal... My book has opened a whole new field of opportunities and I'm loving it.
Thanks!
Kim
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Yes, there was the requirement for inclusion of the poet's signature - (embarrassed grin) - but I couldn't figure out how to include one (especially as I don't have anything I consider signature like to use ;-)
(of course , I could always say my pen name is "Hot Lips" LOL)
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Lol I asked because that came up in one of my reviews, so after a bit of agony I reworked the last line. I had just gone with a line that had fly, feathers, and wings in it, but someone who has written Ghazals before said it needed to be more specific. I finally worked it out lol
I thought maybe you'd say it could be more obscure than that ;) (wishful thinking)
Comment from darkmoonbaby
Dovey,
Beautifully written with no mistakes that I noticed. I very much enjoyed reading it.
I love this piece:
Snow-capped through ever changing seasons, a constant source of strength and beauty,
Teaching the virtues of patience, clear vision through the clouds, recurring love.
DMB
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Dovey,
Beautifully written with no mistakes that I noticed. I very much enjoyed reading it.
I love this piece:
Snow-capped through ever changing seasons, a constant source of strength and beauty,
Teaching the virtues of patience, clear vision through the clouds, recurring love.
DMB
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Thank you, DMB,
This was my first Ghazal and something completely different for me. I'm so happy you enjoyed it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Kim
Comment from DianeK
This is wonderful. I am not a poet, but I am a yogi and I believe this poem would make a beautiful meditation. I also love nature and have deep respect for snow and the mountains. In my opinion, snow is earth's blanket protecting the ground and us from the cold.
Thank you for the lessons on Ghazal and interesting facts especially Rumi. I felt I could hear the Iranian, Indian, and Pakistani musicians actually singing and performing, I can see how difficult translation is, but you found people who have done so without losing the integrity of the poem and you have made it your own with this Ruminations on Life In Alaska. Very nice. Quyana!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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This is wonderful. I am not a poet, but I am a yogi and I believe this poem would make a beautiful meditation. I also love nature and have deep respect for snow and the mountains. In my opinion, snow is earth's blanket protecting the ground and us from the cold.
Thank you for the lessons on Ghazal and interesting facts especially Rumi. I felt I could hear the Iranian, Indian, and Pakistani musicians actually singing and performing, I can see how difficult translation is, but you found people who have done so without losing the integrity of the poem and you have made it your own with this Ruminations on Life In Alaska. Very nice. Quyana!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Hi Diane,
Thank you for taking the time to leave such lengthy comments. I am so happy that you enjoyed my research on the Ghazal form. It was quite enlightening to learn the history and how they have adapted into English today. I appreciate all of your fantastic thoughts.
Kim
Comment from tfawcus
The Gazal is an interesting form. I keep meaning to try one! Perhaps I should get inspired to do so because of yours! You certainly get the idea of the extreme cold across in some of your lines, especially, "weathering months of sub-zero temps blurring love". What a wonderful renaissance it must be when Spring brings an end to the long winter nights.
I bought a book of some of Rumi's writing a couple of months back, and keep dipping into it. I can see the influence.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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The Gazal is an interesting form. I keep meaning to try one! Perhaps I should get inspired to do so because of yours! You certainly get the idea of the extreme cold across in some of your lines, especially, "weathering months of sub-zero temps blurring love". What a wonderful renaissance it must be when Spring brings an end to the long winter nights.
I bought a book of some of Rumi's writing a couple of months back, and keep dipping into it. I can see the influence.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Thanks, Tony!
These comments are the best! I enjoyed all the reading I did for this. You might check out the link on the origins of the Ghazal, I found that particularly interesting. It took the beginnings all the way to how it has been adapted into English. Good stuff.
I think we're a bit early, but my dad has decided we need to put up his greenhouse on Saturday lol hope we don't get much more in the way of snow. I think all the sunshine has him eager to get started! :)
I appreciate all of the wonderful thoughts you've shared.
Kim
Comment from terry drake
A very interesting poem structure which in and of itself would seem to be difficult to comply with. You met the challenge and referred to Alaska as the land of the midnight sun. Very good.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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A very interesting poem structure which in and of itself would seem to be difficult to comply with. You met the challenge and referred to Alaska as the land of the midnight sun. Very good.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Hi Terry, thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my poem.
Kim
Comment from robyn corum
Kim,
This was truly fascinating. I am always astonished at those poets who diligently seek to learn and grow their craft by researching other poetry forms and trying them out. I'm a lazy oaf and just continue to write silly nonsense poetry of the same type!
Very nicely done!
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Kim,
This was truly fascinating. I am always astonished at those poets who diligently seek to learn and grow their craft by researching other poetry forms and trying them out. I'm a lazy oaf and just continue to write silly nonsense poetry of the same type!
Very nicely done!
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Hi Robyn,
I've always enjoyed trying new styles and I'm having fun with my project this month. Who knows when I'll get back around to trying any of them again lol Thanks for the great review :)
Kim
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Im confused with all the new styles that have been introduced over the last few months. this is a progressive time for fan story and according to your notes, this is done spot on
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Im confused with all the new styles that have been introduced over the last few months. this is a progressive time for fan story and according to your notes, this is done spot on
Comment Written 07-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2016
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Hi Barb!
I thought it would be fun to dedicate my book to poets and poetry, so I'm on a self taught exploration lol I must say, I'm learning tons and I have no clue what will be around the next corner. It is exciting! Thanks for your kind comments and taking the time to read and review.
Kim
