Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Breaking the Mold"Story telling poems
16 total reviews
Comment from schatzling
First of all let me say that I do love your style of getting the word out to us, the readers and with each write you share a little more of yourself with all of us. Since I started reading your newer works first and now I am starting at your first writing and reading forwards through all of them, I know things that you have yet to share with all and this is the beginning...this poem....which by the way is excellently written and it flows ever so beautifully. I can empathize with you in this poem. However, I was never able to be myself the entire time I was growing up from birth to orphanage and the nuns to adoption and the pretend mom to husband in my first marriage. I always belonged to someone else until I had a burst of unscaredness (is that even a word???) back in 1994 and I too broke out of those molds, those layered molds I may add, and finally became my own person....but molded so well by so many that I still lack so many things especially self confidence. This poem of yours has touched me deep inside and gave me an added little touch of .... an added little push of .... an overwhelming sense of... an extra little bit of relief that it is gonna be alright. It has taken me 32 years to start breaking out of those molds and another 22 years to get where I am today and yet I still am not yet totally free. Those remaining molds are a curse and the strongest yet, but I keep chipping away daily and hopefully one day before I die I can be like you....Right now I smile out loud. One day I hope to really be laughing.
THANKS for sharing your perfect entry for this contest. Unsure if the deadline for this contest has been reached. You should have won. You have an extra six stars I am giving to you because if you didn't win, I really cannot see nor understand why not. THIS IS perfection in every aspect. It shows both humility and vulnerability. It shows both weakness and strength. It shows both obedience and not disobedience, per say....but more like rebellion. It shows both compliance and resistance. It should be part of a book to be published. EXCELLENT in every aspect.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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First of all let me say that I do love your style of getting the word out to us, the readers and with each write you share a little more of yourself with all of us. Since I started reading your newer works first and now I am starting at your first writing and reading forwards through all of them, I know things that you have yet to share with all and this is the beginning...this poem....which by the way is excellently written and it flows ever so beautifully. I can empathize with you in this poem. However, I was never able to be myself the entire time I was growing up from birth to orphanage and the nuns to adoption and the pretend mom to husband in my first marriage. I always belonged to someone else until I had a burst of unscaredness (is that even a word???) back in 1994 and I too broke out of those molds, those layered molds I may add, and finally became my own person....but molded so well by so many that I still lack so many things especially self confidence. This poem of yours has touched me deep inside and gave me an added little touch of .... an added little push of .... an overwhelming sense of... an extra little bit of relief that it is gonna be alright. It has taken me 32 years to start breaking out of those molds and another 22 years to get where I am today and yet I still am not yet totally free. Those remaining molds are a curse and the strongest yet, but I keep chipping away daily and hopefully one day before I die I can be like you....Right now I smile out loud. One day I hope to really be laughing.
THANKS for sharing your perfect entry for this contest. Unsure if the deadline for this contest has been reached. You should have won. You have an extra six stars I am giving to you because if you didn't win, I really cannot see nor understand why not. THIS IS perfection in every aspect. It shows both humility and vulnerability. It shows both weakness and strength. It shows both obedience and not disobedience, per say....but more like rebellion. It shows both compliance and resistance. It should be part of a book to be published. EXCELLENT in every aspect.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2016
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2016
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I so want to know about your life. I just turned 62. I stayed in that bad marriage for six years. I still had no self confidence I left. It took me so many years. When you say your Mother died do you mean your real Mother or the adopted one who was so mean to you? Your reviews are written so well and your command of English is amazing since it is your second language. I thought this poem might win but it was one of those that the Poetry commitee judges and they never seem to pick mine. I do better with the contests that are my peer writers.
Comment from scd41
She followed the dictates of her heart - this far and no further. There is a message for all in this nice story; humility is adorable but servility is not a substitute of humility. One must compromise on minor things but not on basic values. Best of luck to you in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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She followed the dictates of her heart - this far and no further. There is a message for all in this nice story; humility is adorable but servility is not a substitute of humility. One must compromise on minor things but not on basic values. Best of luck to you in the contest.
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thank you so much. You understand so well.
Comment from William Ross
very good I love it when women break the mold and get out of the clutch of man, great write and thought, good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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very good I love it when women break the mold and get out of the clutch of man, great write and thought, good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 27-May-2016
reply by the author on 27-May-2016
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Thank you William. I keep writing about this time in my life and every day it makes me stronger. I thank people like you who understand that I wasn't weak, just not yet strong.
Comment from L.lora
Wow, your closing line is
definitely the frosting on
the cake. Great job, wonderful
cadence and very descriptive
words make this a true pleasure
to read. Its flow moves the
reader right along easily. Good luck
with the contest, Lora
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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Wow, your closing line is
definitely the frosting on
the cake. Great job, wonderful
cadence and very descriptive
words make this a true pleasure
to read. Its flow moves the
reader right along easily. Good luck
with the contest, Lora
Comment Written 26-May-2016
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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Thank you so much. I just took a while to grow up and stand up for myself. Life is wonderful now.
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It was a true pleasure.
Comment from sage17611
This is such a beautiful story of finding oneself through self awareness. Emerging from a dark place in one's life is so gratifying to one's self esteem. So much knowledge and wisdom is acquired during this time of self emergence. Your poem reads very well with a nice rhyme scheme, and a nice story. Thanks for sharing, good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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This is such a beautiful story of finding oneself through self awareness. Emerging from a dark place in one's life is so gratifying to one's self esteem. So much knowledge and wisdom is acquired during this time of self emergence. Your poem reads very well with a nice rhyme scheme, and a nice story. Thanks for sharing, good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 26-May-2016
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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thank you , I enjoyed writing it so much. Rhyme comes easy to me and it felt right. Except my name isn't Mary Louise. lol
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LOL, ok.
Comment from dmt1967
This poem really touched me and the last line was a great way to end this delightful poem. I am so glad the girl in the poem rose up to be counted. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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This poem really touched me and the last line was a great way to end this delightful poem. I am so glad the girl in the poem rose up to be counted. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-May-2016
reply by the author on 26-May-2016
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Thank you I have a wonderful life now. I just needed to grow up and stand up for my self . It took me a while but I did it.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Judy,
You did an excellent job telling your story in this
difficult form. I'm glad you had fun with it...I can
surely relate to your words and experience. I guess
you having lived through that kind of relationship
makes this all the more powerful.
I especially liked your lines where she began to "evolve"
Thank you for sharing your story in a poem...it makes
for a wonderful entry.
Linda
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Judy,
You did an excellent job telling your story in this
difficult form. I'm glad you had fun with it...I can
surely relate to your words and experience. I guess
you having lived through that kind of relationship
makes this all the more powerful.
I especially liked your lines where she began to "evolve"
Thank you for sharing your story in a poem...it makes
for a wonderful entry.
Linda
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you I did have a great time writing it. Life is great now.
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Good to hear:)
Comment from rbutner
Awesome story of a woman coming into her own - out of her shell, out from underneath her husband's thumb and aware of her own strength, intelligence and power. I love it. If it is about yourself, be very proud! Very good flow to the poem, and very easy to read as well. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Renee
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Awesome story of a woman coming into her own - out of her shell, out from underneath her husband's thumb and aware of her own strength, intelligence and power. I love it. If it is about yourself, be very proud! Very good flow to the poem, and very easy to read as well. I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Renee
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you so much. I enjoyed writing it . It is about me many years ago. but now I have a wonderful life.
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I'm so glad :)
Comment from heyjude
Judy, very well done. It is sad to have to fit into the mold someone
tries to make you into. Sometimes it's hard to be your own person
and use your gifts. It's good to be able to make your own choices.
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Judy, very well done. It is sad to have to fit into the mold someone
tries to make you into. Sometimes it's hard to be your own person
and use your gifts. It's good to be able to make your own choices.
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you so much It was fun to write. I have come so far from those days. That was close to 25 years ago. I just took awhile to grow up. I love life now.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Thank you for sharing your poem about your beautiful, but sad story about Mary Louise coming from her deigned mold
and
was witty and strong.
No new man could tell her where she belonged.
Gert
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you for sharing your poem about your beautiful, but sad story about Mary Louise coming from her deigned mold
and
was witty and strong.
No new man could tell her where she belonged.
Gert
Comment Written 25-May-2016
reply by the author on 25-May-2016
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Thank you for reading. I so appreciate you.
