Buttons
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Buttons"Revenge for molestation
28 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Paul
This is outstanding. I think you did a great job on this. The story flows well and is very engaging. I saw no errors. I will look forward to reading you next chapter
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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This is outstanding. I think you did a great job on this. The story flows well and is very engaging. I saw no errors. I will look forward to reading you next chapter
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Thank you , I have worked extremely hard on this. You made my day . Thank you.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
An artwork of buttons would be nice.
Free of grammatical errors!
Great dialogue!
Two thumbs up for the title! It goes well with this material. This chapter is well-written. I see no need for improvement. I look forward to reading more of this novel. Thanks for sharing! Good luck with future writings!
Nicole
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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An artwork of buttons would be nice.
Free of grammatical errors!
Great dialogue!
Two thumbs up for the title! It goes well with this material. This chapter is well-written. I see no need for improvement. I look forward to reading more of this novel. Thanks for sharing! Good luck with future writings!
Nicole
Comment Written 01-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2017
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Nikki, I Thank you so much. I came to fan story over a year and a half ago. A rough draft of this is what I put up first. The first chapter had over 48 grammatical errors and changed tense constantly. Now, I am redoing it. People like you have helped me so much to make this something worthwhile. I have at least 15 chapters written and will be putting them up as fast as I can earn morning. Thank you so much following it. You are a blessing.
Comment from country ranch writer
revenge is Vengence sayeth the Lord he is getting turned on by his impetuous ways. Sounds like a real winner in the gruesome world of hate
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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revenge is Vengence sayeth the Lord he is getting turned on by his impetuous ways. Sounds like a real winner in the gruesome world of hate
Comment Written 01-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2016
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Sthank you. I appreciate you reading it. It is rather said but I have some interesting turns in the next chapters in my portfolio if you are interested in reading them.
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S M I L E S
Comment from Serendipity!
This is amazing. I had a little trouble keeping the characters straight. Maybe you could flow into the different scenes a little more fluidly. Is this at all relating to anything you have gone through in real life?
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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This is amazing. I had a little trouble keeping the characters straight. Maybe you could flow into the different scenes a little more fluidly. Is this at all relating to anything you have gone through in real life?
Comment Written 09-May-2016
reply by the author on 09-May-2016
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Yes, I bought into not standing up for myself and letting others run my life. So Mary has lot of my characteristics before I started to live life as an adult instead of an older child.
Comment from marion
Hi
I think this has huge potential, just needs a little editing! I think with that you would have received a six from me. Captivating and a little different. Greta stuff. Great endings. Marion.
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Hi
I think this has huge potential, just needs a little editing! I think with that you would have received a six from me. Captivating and a little different. Greta stuff. Great endings. Marion.
Comment Written 02-May-2016
reply by the author on 02-May-2016
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Thank you, I will definitely edit it. Since I am a teacher I will have time to work on it this summer.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Jusylee, this was an excellent well-written horror story that kept my attention throughout, just a couple of pointers, this at best is a two part posting and perhaps even three, I feel that you would have got a lot more interest had it been split up. There is a bit of an editing issue that needs addressing, )much like my meter in my poems lol!).
But overall it was excellent and I feel as though there is more to come my friend.
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016
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Hi Jusylee, this was an excellent well-written horror story that kept my attention throughout, just a couple of pointers, this at best is a two part posting and perhaps even three, I feel that you would have got a lot more interest had it been split up. There is a bit of an editing issue that needs addressing, )much like my meter in my poems lol!).
But overall it was excellent and I feel as though there is more to come my friend.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 06-Apr-2016
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Yes, I have much to learn about how to post things. I wrote most of this before I found Fan Story. When I first put it up several weeks ago I had so many technical errors, but with the help of this site and people like you it is getting much better. Thank you so much.
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from MTF1955
That was great. Your story kept me enthralled all the way through. I think you need to make this a full fledged story. Don't leave us hanging. Mary
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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That was great. Your story kept me enthralled all the way through. I think you need to make this a full fledged story. Don't leave us hanging. Mary
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Thank you, I have written much more. So many people have helped me edit it. It is starting to work.
Comment from D.Luhn51
I really thought the use of buttons in this story was very unique and captured my attention. While the idea behind this story is a good one, it could have been much better. It is important to pay close attention to the grammar. There seems to be many errors, both in grammar as well as in the tense of certain words. Proof reading your work is very important, in that it allows the reader a fluid reading of the story. It would also be helpful if you'd review how you handle transitioning from one character to another and from one victim to the next. I do hope you find this helpful.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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I really thought the use of buttons in this story was very unique and captured my attention. While the idea behind this story is a good one, it could have been much better. It is important to pay close attention to the grammar. There seems to be many errors, both in grammar as well as in the tense of certain words. Proof reading your work is very important, in that it allows the reader a fluid reading of the story. It would also be helpful if you'd review how you handle transitioning from one character to another and from one victim to the next. I do hope you find this helpful.
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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I find it extremely helpful. I so need editing. You should have seen it last month when I just started this. I had so many mistakes. Now I will go back and look for more.
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We all do overlook our grammar, etc. Writing is a life-long process of getting better and better, but it is a life of artistic pleasure.
Comment from trumby
Brought out the BUT spray (typo)
I would have marked you higher mate, but there's a few other spelling mistakes in there.
On the whole though, a wonderful story and a great read
Good character development.
It's nearly several stories in one.
Keep it up
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Brought out the BUT spray (typo)
I would have marked you higher mate, but there's a few other spelling mistakes in there.
On the whole though, a wonderful story and a great read
Good character development.
It's nearly several stories in one.
Keep it up
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I love the editing . I truly need it.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is the longest post I have ever read here. Normally, if something is even half this long, I skip it. But this was so entertaining, so totally captivating and well told, I couldn't stop reading. I was disappointed when it ended! I hope you will post chapters of your novel. Sounds like a real winner to me. :)
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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This is the longest post I have ever read here. Normally, if something is even half this long, I skip it. But this was so entertaining, so totally captivating and well told, I couldn't stop reading. I was disappointed when it ended! I hope you will post chapters of your novel. Sounds like a real winner to me. :)
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I truly appreciate it. I think I have so much to learn. Now that I know that I will start by posting chapters. I just put it in the Horror contest. The fact that you read all of it really touches me and lets me know to keep writing it. I have so much more already written in this story.
