When Blood Collides
Viewing comments for Chapter 85 "The Lost Purse"A family's love is tested.
23 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
What a wonderful woman. Not everyone would turn in a purse they found. You must have been so relieved, I know I was. Down here this happens all the time and the locals will chase you down the street to return a purse, wallet, or money you may have dropped of left on the counter. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Heavens knows what will happen next.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
  |
What a wonderful woman. Not everyone would turn in a purse they found. You must have been so relieved, I know I was. Down here this happens all the time and the locals will chase you down the street to return a purse, wallet, or money you may have dropped of left on the counter. I am looking forward to the next chapter. Heavens knows what will happen next.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
The clerk and police told us the locals were honest. Must have been a tourist spotting the unattended purse.
Comment from robyn corum
Wow. You got awfully lucky that time, sister! *smile* See? There are still lots of nice people in the world. HUZZAH! This was a fine write and, like the others, I enjoyed it!
--> "We've done all we can, Ma." Jeff took over the group. (")We still have time to taxi up to the Casino.(") [(??) Sounded like dialogue]
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
|
Wow. You got awfully lucky that time, sister! *smile* See? There are still lots of nice people in the world. HUZZAH! This was a fine write and, like the others, I enjoyed it!
--> "We've done all we can, Ma." Jeff took over the group. (")We still have time to taxi up to the Casino.(") [(??) Sounded like dialogue]
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Darn! I could have sworn I corrected that. Doesn't pay to work at one in the morning.
Yes, I was lucky, very much so.
Comment from Dean Kuch
Well, your trip wasn't completely spoiled, Shari. You did manage to find your purse after all. In my mind, a "spoiled trip" would be losing your purse, having over $1,000.00 charged to it by whomever it was that decided to take it, and not having a way to get back on a plane to fly back to Florida. THAT is a spoiled trip. During your trip to Catalina, you simply encountered a speed bump, is all.
Another perfectly written chapter...
~Dean
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
|
Well, your trip wasn't completely spoiled, Shari. You did manage to find your purse after all. In my mind, a "spoiled trip" would be losing your purse, having over $1,000.00 charged to it by whomever it was that decided to take it, and not having a way to get back on a plane to fly back to Florida. THAT is a spoiled trip. During your trip to Catalina, you simply encountered a speed bump, is all.
Another perfectly written chapter...
~Dean
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Exactly, Dean. I personally felt the "miracle" was worth more than seeing the sights. :-)
-
You're very welcome, Shari. :)
Comment from Kaydoe
Glad you found your purse and someone was honest enough and turned it in. I do think there are guardian angels. I am new at FanStory. I see you're on chapter 85.
I assume this is a book in progress. Will this be published here or do you take your manuscript else where? Mostly I have been reviewing poetry and I'm just starting to
review stories. It would have been interesting to really start at the beginning of
your book.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
|
Glad you found your purse and someone was honest enough and turned it in. I do think there are guardian angels. I am new at FanStory. I see you're on chapter 85.
I assume this is a book in progress. Will this be published here or do you take your manuscript else where? Mostly I have been reviewing poetry and I'm just starting to
review stories. It would have been interesting to really start at the beginning of
your book.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Chapter one begins when I'm in my late fifties and my widowed mother moves in thus creating dissension from both my sisters.
If I choose to self-publish, I'll have to change a few names to protect the part of my family that is still alive, that would be my husband and two children and their families. Daughter would disown me for sure.
I've told her a little about the book and now, she's worried about identity theft. Go figure.
Thanks for picking up so late in the game. There's still a few surprises left. Good and bad.
-
I'll keep reading!
Comment from judiverse
You surely have a lot of faith in the universe. At least it paid off this time. What a wonderful woman to recover your pocketbook. That must have been a major relief. That was helpful information you mentioned about the police station taking your picture and giving you a written statement to take along so you could board your flight. There must be a solution for everything. It's great that you were the only one who remained calm in the situation. I'm curious to know what else happened to put a damper on your trip. judi
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
|
You surely have a lot of faith in the universe. At least it paid off this time. What a wonderful woman to recover your pocketbook. That must have been a major relief. That was helpful information you mentioned about the police station taking your picture and giving you a written statement to take along so you could board your flight. There must be a solution for everything. It's great that you were the only one who remained calm in the situation. I'm curious to know what else happened to put a damper on your trip. judi
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Did you know that every time we stress out, we release a toxic chemical into our bodies. Something I just learned at my metaphysical meeting on energy healing.
For me, this "miracle" story that confirmed my beliefs was worth more than just another tourist attraction. It's the human experience that makes life's journey exciting.
-
I'm sure I'd have been extremely stressed if something like that had happened to me. Your positive thoughts worked for you. judi
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Shari.
How wonderful to read about such an honest person and the outcome with your purse. You sure do have a guardian angel watching over you. The description of Catalina sounds wonderful, and the casino a place that would be so interesting to visit. Great visuals throughout the chapter.
Bye, my friend!
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
 |
Hi, Shari.
How wonderful to read about such an honest person and the outcome with your purse. You sure do have a guardian angel watching over you. The description of Catalina sounds wonderful, and the casino a place that would be so interesting to visit. Great visuals throughout the chapter.
Bye, my friend!
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Kisses for the six, Rosalyne. Thanks for commenting on the description. Had to do a little research for that. I still get excited when I remember the police women calling to give Nichole the message. I mean, how often do "miracles" happen?
Comment from Domino 2
What right have you to call yourself, 'normal', in 12st line? LOL.
Great alliteration in 6th para - 'Frank/Freaked/Frantically' - hey, we'll make a poet of you yet. ;-)
Excellent conveyance of a 'normal' day away, broken with the purse drama to convey there are still some 'angels' around.
Mind you, the last bloke I encountered with 'red hair' whacked me round the head with his lap-top in a strapped bag, when he recovered (and I wasn't looking) after I'd punched him in the pub after he's been 'digging me out' for years, and my patience finally snapped - my brother-in-law. True! Haha.
Excellent.
Best wishes, Ray xx
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
|
What right have you to call yourself, 'normal', in 12st line? LOL.
Great alliteration in 6th para - 'Frank/Freaked/Frantically' - hey, we'll make a poet of you yet. ;-)
Excellent conveyance of a 'normal' day away, broken with the purse drama to convey there are still some 'angels' around.
Mind you, the last bloke I encountered with 'red hair' whacked me round the head with his lap-top in a strapped bag, when he recovered (and I wasn't looking) after I'd punched him in the pub after he's been 'digging me out' for years, and my patience finally snapped - my brother-in-law. True! Haha.
Excellent.
Best wishes, Ray xx
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
-
Uh oh, sounds as if you have clashes with someone who's relative now, but not by choice.
Enjoyed your cute comments. ( At least, I know you read it. LOL)
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Phew. You must have felt great when you got your purse back. The few times I left mine, I was lucky to find it at the store or restaurant I'd just left. Once I left it in a shopping cart in a parking lot where I had bought some flowers to plant. I remembered when I got home with three trays of flowers but no purse. Went right back in a panic, relieved to find the cart and purse by the petunia display where I'd left them. As hard as we try to hold on to our purses, sometimes we have so many other things to carry, we make that mistake. I can't even imagine losing all my cards and driver's license, gun owner's card, etc, etc. Scary stuff. So... this episode was a happy one for me. :)
Now, what are Mr. and Mrs. Jeff up to?
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
|
Phew. You must have felt great when you got your purse back. The few times I left mine, I was lucky to find it at the store or restaurant I'd just left. Once I left it in a shopping cart in a parking lot where I had bought some flowers to plant. I remembered when I got home with three trays of flowers but no purse. Went right back in a panic, relieved to find the cart and purse by the petunia display where I'd left them. As hard as we try to hold on to our purses, sometimes we have so many other things to carry, we make that mistake. I can't even imagine losing all my cards and driver's license, gun owner's card, etc, etc. Scary stuff. So... this episode was a happy one for me. :)
Now, what are Mr. and Mrs. Jeff up to?
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
-
Wow! Talk about luck. Probably shoppers thought the owner was a cop waiting to arrest someone. LOL
You summed up perfectly the reason I forgot it.
As for future miscommunication or insensitivity to my generation, wait and see.
Comment from Helen Bach
I think you tell your story well. You are easy to read and have a strong, clear writer's voice. I love how you are completely unperturbed by the missing bag, placing your faith in the universe, a satisfying story illustrating that whatever happens we can deal with it and things worked out much better than though with a little help from a guardian angel. Great stuff. Helen x
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
|
I think you tell your story well. You are easy to read and have a strong, clear writer's voice. I love how you are completely unperturbed by the missing bag, placing your faith in the universe, a satisfying story illustrating that whatever happens we can deal with it and things worked out much better than though with a little help from a guardian angel. Great stuff. Helen x
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2016
-
Thanks, Helen. Life has taught me that stress is a dangerous thing. So many times, I have fretted about problems that eventually righted themselves.
Comment from TheWriteTeach
Shari, did you rewrite part of this? It seems as though I read up to the point where you lost your purse and couldn't find it. Anyway, this is excellent. You built the tension well about the missing purse, and the way your family got on your case about it. I was gritting my teeth and sitting stiff as a board over that scene. Your descriptive narratives did the job and painted vivid pictures of your dashing from store to benches looking for the purse. I never expected you to find it. Especially to have someone turn it in to the police! It did sound like she found it just in time though. Yes, I do believe in guardian angels. Twice I've had them appear in my life exactly when I needed them, and they stayed only until I was okay without them. But I digress from your piece. As always, your transitions are great, your dialogue is real, not forced or fake. Everything you wrote moves the story forward, nothing slows down or stalls out the action, causing the reader to get bored and lose interest. You stopped at a great spot, creating a cliff hanger to make the reader want to come back and see what happens. Nice job.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
|
Shari, did you rewrite part of this? It seems as though I read up to the point where you lost your purse and couldn't find it. Anyway, this is excellent. You built the tension well about the missing purse, and the way your family got on your case about it. I was gritting my teeth and sitting stiff as a board over that scene. Your descriptive narratives did the job and painted vivid pictures of your dashing from store to benches looking for the purse. I never expected you to find it. Especially to have someone turn it in to the police! It did sound like she found it just in time though. Yes, I do believe in guardian angels. Twice I've had them appear in my life exactly when I needed them, and they stayed only until I was okay without them. But I digress from your piece. As always, your transitions are great, your dialogue is real, not forced or fake. Everything you wrote moves the story forward, nothing slows down or stalls out the action, causing the reader to get bored and lose interest. You stopped at a great spot, creating a cliff hanger to make the reader want to come back and see what happens. Nice job.
Suzanne
Comment Written 15-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2016
-
Yes, if you look at the line in red, I mention that after talking to my daughter, I had to backtrack and correct some details. Thank you for such a lovely and thorough review. :-)
