Reviews from

The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil

Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "The Morning of..."
A fantasy novel about good fighting evil.

26 total reviews 
Comment from tango494
Excellent
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I certainly have to go back and read your previous submissions, I love your writing style. Your word usage and flow is amazing, I also think you do a great job with your dialogues. Keep up the great work!!!!

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Thank you ever so much! I always love new readers and uplifting reviews. Also, if you find mistakes, don't be afraid to let me know, or suggestions. Correcting things now is when to do it. Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from JTStone
Excellent
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I'm sorry it took a while to get to this, Rhonda, I've been slammed at work.
So I can hear the engine purring like precious the cat, the story is starting to rev up.
It was a little on the wordy side in the area with the cat, but bounced back nicely when Nancy was evading the reporters.
So the next generation Dare Devil Girls are in the wings...
Jimmy

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Jimmy, and I know what an adrenaline junkie you are. Haha, so am I, but my target audience is young adult, so kitties are a must! The action will definitely come. Thanks so much for keeping up. Your opinion means a lot to me!
    Rhonda
Comment from boxergirl
Excellent
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Good afternoon, Rhonda,
I enjoyed the scene today. Lots of strong descriptive details, especially with the cat...So realistic.
Also I could feel Nancy's nerves building as she tries to prepare for her speech. All good stuff!
Hugs,
Karen

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Karen. I so appreciate the comments and feedback. I have another animal or two that will jump in. Can't do young adult fiction without them. Besides, I love animals.
    Hugs back,
    Rhonda
Comment from Jim Lorson Sr
Excellent
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Rhonda, I am loving this story about the Daredevil girls. Lots of twists and turns, always great mystery and the dialogue truly makes this such a great read. I am glad I found this as you have done a great job of telling this chapter by chapter.

Looking for more. I hope you are still healing well. Enjoy this Sunday,

Jim

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 07-Mar-2016
    Thank you so much, Jim. It's taking a wile to get the background stuff in, but action should start soon. Thanks for the helpful comments and support. They mean more to me than you might know.

    I am healing nicely now that they've done a third surgery. I've decided from all of this that the face is a very sensitive region. and that I'm scratching "face lift" off of my bucket list. Just plain not going to happen. haha,
    Thanks,
    Rhonda
Comment from Nika2016
Excellent
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Well..Rhonda..or Nancy..I keep seeing the two as the same person...:) My favorite part was the attack cat reminding me of my cats and what I call "counting coup" where the little one gets in a pounce position, then runs and swipes the big one across the nose. Retaliation: Little Sasha sent rolling to the far wall. Good job Nance...Rhonda

 Comment Written 06-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
    That is so funny, thanks for sharing your story! What gave me the idea on the cat was we used to have one when the kids were little, and they loved to scare him. As a result, he would hide out and absolutely attack their ankles when they least expected it. He never forgot. It was hilarious!

    Yeah, Nancy and Rhonda do tend to blend together now and then...haha...

    Thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from mfowler
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

My sixer is for this and the past few episodes I've had to hastily catch up on. The story is really building a head of steam now and I'm as intrigued as any reader to know what Nancy has to say in response to the questions. It's a difficult scenario you've painted for this young teacher, to face up to a past that she hoped she'd left behind. I loved the cat sequence and the sycophantic chatter of the coach as he claimed to be more than he was to the press. The emotion is clearly spelt out and the pacing of your story works very well. Now, let's get down to it.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 06-Mar-2016
    Thank you, my friend! I appreciate the beautiful and most welcome 6 stars. I also understand about getting behind. I finally had to give up catching up and just go forward from here. I am so glad you are reading!

    Yes, things are about to heat up, but still a bit more set up and build up, then she will begin. I'm still trying to decide how I'm going to do her stories within stories as far as the quotation marks, as the last bout with it had people a bit confused. There will be lots of dialogue in the story, and I may just have to go with a disclaimer that I will deal with it all later so people will stop focusing on it.

    Anyway, thanks again,
    Rhonda
Comment from DonandVicki
Excellent
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A fun fantasy fiction that has good morals in the story. I do like the way that you continue the tale with good end points that hold the readers attention.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
    Thank you so much, first of all for following the story, and secondly, for your great comments. Morals do play a big part in this story. I made that promise to my father before he died as he's the one that first invented the characters when my sister and I were little. He made me promise to make the kids diverse, and to teach morals. Other than that, scare the heck out of them if I want...hehe, I'm not as good at that part.
    Take care,
    Rhonda
Comment from chasennov
Excellent
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The morning of the Assembly finally arrives. A chapter in the book The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil. The Morning of... . It must've been great fun to write about your experiences of old, and reminisce about everything you did. Very well done.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
    You know it wasn't actually me, right? Although I did used to think I was a Daredevil Girl as a child when my father used to tell the stories. Thanks for reading and reviewing, my friend. By the way, towards the end of the book, a leprechaun shows up, and he lives in Texas. Haha,
    Take care,
    Rhonda
reply by chasennov on 06-Mar-2016
    It just goes to show how we assume things, and you know what is said about assuming. Take care.
Comment from MelB
Excellent
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Hi Rhinda, great job with the story! I like the addition of the boxes for questions. The questions the kids asked made me laugh. Look forward to finding out more.

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
    Thank you so much for the review. Yes, kids can get hyper when there is something they are looking forward to. Some of the adults were curious as well. Again, thanks
    Rhonda
reply by MelB on 05-Mar-2016
    You're most welcome.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
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Chapter 9 - end line 4: she have (had)
This is a great chapter very well written. I loved the tension building up throughout the story and the ultimate arrival at the school with the crowd really increases anticipation levels. A most enjoyable chapter, Rhonda, Giddy

 Comment Written 05-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 05-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Giddy, for the wonderful and helpful review. I'll fix that mistake, thanks for pointing it out!
    Rhonda