Picture This
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "What Is This Place?"poems from Picture This Challenge
58 total reviews
Comment from rama devi
Fun storytelling style in response to this contest. A charming and amusing entry. Delightful characterization.
Excellent flow and rhyming.
Good use of enjambment.
A few minor suggestions for your consideration--noted along with applause:
She stood there in the centre of the room and looked around;(,)
her eyes the size of saucers focused on the things they'd found.
Love the rhyme pair of recalled and enthralled
Her granddad smiled, although his eyes were sad as he recalled
these paper books, that long ago, had kept him so enthralled.
He tried explaining to the child(,) in words she'd understand,
Nice voicing:
"These buildings were called libraries," he whispered reverently.
"And all the shelves were packed with books for us to read for free.
*
a good adventure story(-- or ,) and each one would sow its seed.
FUN VOICING:
One day I'd be a cowboy, and the next I'd drive a tank,
or I would be the hero saving folk from ships that sank!"
*
The little girl then giggled,(no ,) and said, "Granddad, you are fun.
FUN LINE AND RHYME:
These books must be so heavy, just a few would weigh a ton!
Perfect rejoinder:
While I can hold a thousand books here in my tiny hand,
upon my Tablet, and no trees were taken from the land."
*
Her granddad sighed,(.) "Perhaps you're right, but I like paper best!"
he said, almost defiantly, while pumping out his chest.
This story made me smile. Well done! Fun closing!
I know you'll consider suggestions...five stars in advance.
Good poetic devices too--i know you know I noticed them.
Hugs,
rd
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Fun storytelling style in response to this contest. A charming and amusing entry. Delightful characterization.
Excellent flow and rhyming.
Good use of enjambment.
A few minor suggestions for your consideration--noted along with applause:
She stood there in the centre of the room and looked around;(,)
her eyes the size of saucers focused on the things they'd found.
Love the rhyme pair of recalled and enthralled
Her granddad smiled, although his eyes were sad as he recalled
these paper books, that long ago, had kept him so enthralled.
He tried explaining to the child(,) in words she'd understand,
Nice voicing:
"These buildings were called libraries," he whispered reverently.
"And all the shelves were packed with books for us to read for free.
*
a good adventure story(-- or ,) and each one would sow its seed.
FUN VOICING:
One day I'd be a cowboy, and the next I'd drive a tank,
or I would be the hero saving folk from ships that sank!"
*
The little girl then giggled,(no ,) and said, "Granddad, you are fun.
FUN LINE AND RHYME:
These books must be so heavy, just a few would weigh a ton!
Perfect rejoinder:
While I can hold a thousand books here in my tiny hand,
upon my Tablet, and no trees were taken from the land."
*
Her granddad sighed,(.) "Perhaps you're right, but I like paper best!"
he said, almost defiantly, while pumping out his chest.
This story made me smile. Well done! Fun closing!
I know you'll consider suggestions...five stars in advance.
Good poetic devices too--i know you know I noticed them.
Hugs,
rd
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so very much, Rama. I am amazed that I had so few errors, you know what my punctuation is like, LOL.. I have made all the corrections, thank you so much, my friend. I will try to nominate you again, last time they wouldn't let me. I think that is so unfair. It shouldn't matter that I have already nominated you once. Thanks again, my friend. xx Sandra
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That's sweet of you, dear. Much appreciated. Yes, i think it's also unfair we can only win every second month, so the thumbs don't even count half the time! :) I think you've improved with spag, this past year, especially, I noticed.
Love, rd
Comment from lindafisher
What a fabulous picture. This can inspire so many flights of fancy. I really enjoyed your take on it. Books are still my preferred choice. Your explanation to a child is clear and easy to understand. Regards Linda
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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What a fabulous picture. This can inspire so many flights of fancy. I really enjoyed your take on it. Books are still my preferred choice. Your explanation to a child is clear and easy to understand. Regards Linda
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much, Linda, so glad you liked it. :) xx
Comment from William Ross
Yeah, very good take. well written great rhyme and ryhtm a wonderful story and read. Thanks for sharing the work and have a great leap year day.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Yeah, very good take. well written great rhyme and ryhtm a wonderful story and read. Thanks for sharing the work and have a great leap year day.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much, William, glad you liked it! Will you marry me?? (Leap year, if you turn me down you have to buy me a gift! LOL!!) xxx Sandra
Comment from fastdigits
Beautifully portrayed in a light-hearted
manner that enthralls the reader as
the thoughts that you take off the shelf
of a time that was not so long ago echo
out in poetic artistry as they tumble
down the page and are sure to bring a
smile to all of us who still like the
feel of the page as it is cradled in
our hands.
Well done
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Beautifully portrayed in a light-hearted
manner that enthralls the reader as
the thoughts that you take off the shelf
of a time that was not so long ago echo
out in poetic artistry as they tumble
down the page and are sure to bring a
smile to all of us who still like the
feel of the page as it is cradled in
our hands.
Well done
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so very much for your really lovely review, my friend, and for the 6 shiny stars as well!! You are really so kind! xsx Sandra.
Comment from JanPerry
Ahhh the good 'ole days. Reading a book from the library, even having them in your hand. This is a futuristic piece aimed at making us realise where technology will lead us to. One day only the computer kings will be rich.
You have a wonderful poem, one I prefer to the children ones. You have rhymed it well with a very powerful message.. thanks.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Ahhh the good 'ole days. Reading a book from the library, even having them in your hand. This is a futuristic piece aimed at making us realise where technology will lead us to. One day only the computer kings will be rich.
You have a wonderful poem, one I prefer to the children ones. You have rhymed it well with a very powerful message.. thanks.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much, Jan. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. I do write a mixture of poetry, but have probably written more children's stories poems. (probably because of my grandchildren! lol) xsx sandra
Comment from patcelaw
Sandra, this is a wonderfully written take on this picture. It has a lot in the line of my thinking as well. I have not yet written mine. I hoe to get it done today. Patricia
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reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Sandra, this is a wonderfully written take on this picture. It has a lot in the line of my thinking as well. I have not yet written mine. I hoe to get it done today. Patricia
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much, Patricia. I have an awful feeling this will be the case one day. The libraries around our way are already closing. So sad. xsx Sandra
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I am thinking of doing this as a personal story from my childhood, when a High School friend of my mother
s was the head library of the public library in New York City and she boxed up hundreds of discontinued books and sent them to our family. Oh, how I cherished reading those books. The librarian's name was Margaret Scoggins. This is interesting, still almost 70 years later I remember the name of the librarian.
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In the last post I said her name was Scoggins, but there was not a S at the end of her name, I did a google search for her and hers is a sketch of her life on Wikipedia.
Margaret Clara Scoggin (April 14, 1905 ? July 11, 1968)[2] was one of the first librarians to expand dramatically upon the idea of young adult public librarianship. Scoggin implemented several programs throughout her career at the New York Public Library that placed intense importance on young adult readers, which ultimately inspired the ever-improving teen librarianship seen today. She said of young adults, ?They are a vital force which the library can both develop and use. They are the voters of tomorrow, the potential adult users and supporters of the public library, the emergent community to whom, theoretically, the public library belongs.?[3] In 1999, American Libraries named her one of the "100 Most Important Leaders We Had in the 20th Century".[4]
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That just shows what an impression she made on you. I look forward to reading about it! :) xx
Comment from chocoletdrop052
Books are fascinating and give audience to the mind. So many messages of time are sometimes in small captions known as titles, but when opened to the messages behind them, they become more than the binders but are over the alphabet of time. Thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Books are fascinating and give audience to the mind. So many messages of time are sometimes in small captions known as titles, but when opened to the messages behind them, they become more than the binders but are over the alphabet of time. Thank you for sharing
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Thank you so very much, chocoletdrop, for your wonderful review and for the 6 stars! That is so kind of you. :) Sandra xxx
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YW :)
Comment from Debra White
Hello Sandra :)
You never cease to delight me with your gorgeous story telling.
So well told and I think it's sad that it also rings of a possible truth to come.
Perfect meter and rhyme. In fact, all in all perfect!
I enjoyed your interpretation of the artwork :)
Love and best wishes, Debra xx
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Hello Sandra :)
You never cease to delight me with your gorgeous story telling.
So well told and I think it's sad that it also rings of a possible truth to come.
Perfect meter and rhyme. In fact, all in all perfect!
I enjoyed your interpretation of the artwork :)
Love and best wishes, Debra xx
Comment Written 29-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
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Aww, thank you, Debra!! That is so nice of you. I saw this poem as soon as I saw the picture. It's a lovely picture too. I'm really pleased you liked it, my friend, and a big hug for the 6 stars!! :) Sandra xxxx
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You're welcome!
ps. I struggled with the picture this time... hoping the next one triggers something a bit longer than a 5-7-5!
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But you are brilliant at the small poems, I can't do those for toffee-nuts!! lol! xxx
