German Knight
Short story - one man's Army16 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
You did an excellent job with this. Marvelous story that rang true to me. I didn't find anything that needed correcting or changing. I enjoyed this very much. Keep up the great work.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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You did an excellent job with this. Marvelous story that rang true to me. I didn't find anything that needed correcting or changing. I enjoyed this very much. Keep up the great work.
Comment Written 17-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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Thanks for reading Sasha and your kind and generous review. Regards, Bill
Comment from Judy Couch
Your story is very well written. I noticed that it's close to non-fiction. Whoever Chuck is in real life, I respect him for staying true to his wife under very tempting circumstances.
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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Your story is very well written. I noticed that it's close to non-fiction. Whoever Chuck is in real life, I respect him for staying true to his wife under very tempting circumstances.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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Hi Judy - too many creative additions, but I would say that this is about 85% non-fiction. Thanks so much for reading and your kind and generous feedback! Bill
Comment from Adri7enne
"Lacking lagniappe, it wasn't lacking in variety and wholesome goodness." It's been a long time since an suthor sent me looking up a definition. "Lagniappe." I had never seen that word before. And a good one it is, Bill. What a terrific tradition, to give a child a little freebie with a purchase. Nice!
You're right. The army breakfast sounds yummy and altogether fulfilling.
So Chuck got talked into in, in spite of his protestations. Ah, men are weak when it comes to women! LOL!
But your hero stayed true to his marriage vows. Interesting story, Bill. Good to read you, again. Much enjoyed!
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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"Lacking lagniappe, it wasn't lacking in variety and wholesome goodness." It's been a long time since an suthor sent me looking up a definition. "Lagniappe." I had never seen that word before. And a good one it is, Bill. What a terrific tradition, to give a child a little freebie with a purchase. Nice!
You're right. The army breakfast sounds yummy and altogether fulfilling.
So Chuck got talked into in, in spite of his protestations. Ah, men are weak when it comes to women! LOL!
But your hero stayed true to his marriage vows. Interesting story, Bill. Good to read you, again. Much enjoyed!
Comment Written 16-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
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Adri - thanks so much for reading and for your kind and generous feedback. I haven't been on FS much, but am very active in a writer's forum in my new home of Fairhope, AL. Very literary town. I met Winston Groom recently. Warm regards, Bill
Comment from foxangie123
It was difficult to decifer that you actually were stating. This type of subject matter needs to be precise in my opinion. I think it needs a little bit of grammatical correcting. It's good but does need a bit more honey..
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reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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It was difficult to decifer that you actually were stating. This type of subject matter needs to be precise in my opinion. I think it needs a little bit of grammatical correcting. It's good but does need a bit more honey..
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Thanks for reading. Don't understand your review at all. Didn't really see anything from you that might help me improve. You certainly are entitled to your opinion, so forgive me that I just don't understand your feedback. If you have something more specific, would love to hear from you. Bill
Comment from jmdg1954
Bill, I'm afraid I'm out of sixes today. I found this story very friendly. Chuck could have easily been lured into a trap. But he stayed strong to his love for his wife. The dialogue seemed so authentic. The Mark of a good writer.
Overall, this was one of the better stories I've read in a while. John
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Bill, I'm afraid I'm out of sixes today. I found this story very friendly. Chuck could have easily been lured into a trap. But he stayed strong to his love for his wife. The dialogue seemed so authentic. The Mark of a good writer.
Overall, this was one of the better stories I've read in a while. John
Comment Written 13-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Thanks so much for reading John, and your kind comments. I've been on FS long enough to not post late in the week if I were really interested in sixes. What I crave is feedback, so certainly appreciate yours! Regards, Bill
Comment from michaelcahill
Thanks for directing me this way, Bill. I'll be damned if I didn't get completely drawn in to this. I forgot all about reviewing and truly enjoyed this story. I had to go back and get some sense of why so I'd have some kind of critique!
So, the flow of course and events were without a hitch, no distractions or anything to pull me out and scratch my head. The dialogue is the clincher I think. Totally realistic all the way through. I felt like I was listening in on these conversations and THAT is why I was so drawn in. Great story. I truly enjoyed it. mike
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Thanks for directing me this way, Bill. I'll be damned if I didn't get completely drawn in to this. I forgot all about reviewing and truly enjoyed this story. I had to go back and get some sense of why so I'd have some kind of critique!
So, the flow of course and events were without a hitch, no distractions or anything to pull me out and scratch my head. The dialogue is the clincher I think. Totally realistic all the way through. I felt like I was listening in on these conversations and THAT is why I was so drawn in. Great story. I truly enjoyed it. mike
Comment Written 12-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Hi Mike - thanks for reading and your kind feedback. I know what you mean about then balance between reading and reviewing. It never bothers me at all. I'm always more pleased when someone just likes the story. I know I tend to read people on this site who can write. I could care less about technical rules and 'stuff'. Editors can straighten all that out. Regards, Bill
Comment from F. Wehr3
I thought this was very entertaining and sweet in the way Chuck remained faithful to his wife. Your writing is very clean, and I found no errors. A joy to read.
Take care,
Russell
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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I thought this was very entertaining and sweet in the way Chuck remained faithful to his wife. Your writing is very clean, and I found no errors. A joy to read.
Take care,
Russell
Comment Written 12-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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Thanks for reading and for your kind review. Bill
Comment from JW
This is a well-written story, you have here, BHogg.
However, maybe its age, or whatever - I'm missing something. Who was the man and woman at the cottage?
Everything else I was able to follow.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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This is a well-written story, you have here, BHogg.
However, maybe its age, or whatever - I'm missing something. Who was the man and woman at the cottage?
Everything else I was able to follow.
Thanks for sharing this. JW
Comment Written 12-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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Thanks for reading and for your kind review. Bill
The man and the woman at the cottage may have been Adelisa and a beau. Left to your imagination;
Comment from CALLAHANMR
Hi Bill:)
This is straight fiction with a ring of truth. I like the casual way Chuck related to the girl he met at Susie's, Certainlly,as a married man,even with the closeness of a willing girl. He wasn't afaird of sex, but he stayed loyal to his wife. A nice story abut avoiding temptation.
I found no errors and have nosuggestions for improvement. Sorry that I'm out of sixes.
Roger
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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Hi Bill:)
This is straight fiction with a ring of truth. I like the casual way Chuck related to the girl he met at Susie's, Certainlly,as a married man,even with the closeness of a willing girl. He wasn't afaird of sex, but he stayed loyal to his wife. A nice story abut avoiding temptation.
I found no errors and have nosuggestions for improvement. Sorry that I'm out of sixes.
Roger
Comment Written 12-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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Thanks for reading and your kind feedback. Of course, I've been around FS a long time, . so know that Friday is a poor time to release. Gotta tell you though, I get the itch, I write, I release. Many, many thanks, Bill
Comment from humpwhistle
A nice, gentle story, Bill, without contrivances or literary melodrama. What appears to be an honest recollection--even if it is fiction. There's a certain clarity to this that I admire. And the dialogue is nicely turned and convincing. Good pacing throughout. Well done, Bill.
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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A nice, gentle story, Bill, without contrivances or literary melodrama. What appears to be an honest recollection--even if it is fiction. There's a certain clarity to this that I admire. And the dialogue is nicely turned and convincing. Good pacing throughout. Well done, Bill.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 12-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 12-Feb-2016
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Thanks Lee - like everyone, I enjoy getting a six. Coming from a writer I admire is even more special. Too much embellishment to list as non-fiction, but pretty close. I originally started for a non-fiction contest, but had too much fun with it.
