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Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Hansel A. VonStoomer"
These are fictional character sketches.

16 total reviews 
Comment from Geeps
Good
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The last line was funny.

The flow of the poem needs some work, especially the second stanza where it does not read as well as the other two. I think adding a few words can extend the lines and help the flow.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
    Appreciate the review, Geeps.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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What a lovely poem about an active boy, that seems a very normal boy, who likes to do things like I did when I was a little Boy. Beautifully written my friend. Written immaculately in aaab rhyming and tetrametric stanzas, well done, blessings, Roy

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
    I heard the orangutans didn?t like him much.
reply by royowen on 27-Apr-2020
    Met too
Comment from samandlancelot
Excellent
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Bill,

Hansel and his boomerang on their killing spree that brings great joy, like a toy, but now he's on the run. I hope his joy is short lived and he can't bag any more orange apes.

Patricia

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
    I heard Hansel hung up his boomerang.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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Hansel is a peculiar character with his peculiar and unusual habit that he cherishes his good passion for writing but he escapes; well said, well done.

 Comment Written 26-Apr-2020


reply by the author on 26-Apr-2020
    Thanks, ALD
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Haha!
Bill, your wordplay with unique, self-created names never ceases to amaze me, and garner a laugh or two...or three. And this witty little ditty was certainly no exception.

I guess Hansel should have consulted with Gretel VanStoomer before he headed out into the rain forests to do his dirty deed, heh-heh.
Fun poem to read, my friend. Silly, but intentionally so...
~Dean :)

 Comment Written 27-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 28-Jan-2016
    Thank you, Dean, for giving this a look. Between his boomerang and yo yo I guess Hansel was a handful. Bill
reply by Dean Kuch on 28-Jan-2016
    Sure thing, Bill. No sweat.
    Dean
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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This is a great poem, Bill, playing with names and words very cleverly. I can't help that your choice of name reminds me of another era of Germany and what was the pass time of most of those with power. Namely to kill. I see this as a big metaphor for just that. Or maybe I am putting to much into your great poem. All the best. Ulla

 Comment Written 26-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2016
    Thank you, Ulla, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You amaze me once again, Bill Schott, and prove there is nothing that you cannot turn into a rhyme--even troubled youth whose toy of choice is a boomerang and his joy of choice is seeing the dead orangutan(g, taping a song about it and finally escaping.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 26-Jan-2016
    Thank you, Jay, for the encouraging and review. Bill
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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I haven't read your work for a while--just over-scheduled. You obviously had fun creating Hansel's name and the echoing rhymes. Your shift with the punchline was a clever surprise. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
    Thank you, Joan, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
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I don't think I like Hansel A. VonStoomer much, not much at all. But then I'm a nature lover. Your poem rhymes well while using some unusual words for rhyming. I'm sure Hansel A. VonStoomer will end up in prison where he can share his stories and songs with other killers.

 Comment Written 25-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
    Thank you, seaglass, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
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You have a very strange sense of humor, my friend
which of course appeals to me
since I've often been accused of the same malady
Love the name: Hansel A. VonStoomer
It expands the meaning
It would be nice if he simple fell
into a Hansel A. VonStoomer trap
also known as a bear trap
barely adequate punishment
Well written


 Comment Written 25-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
    Thank you, rs, for the excellent review. Bill