Reviews from

A Wilted Flower

Free Verse

45 total reviews 
Comment from MelB
Excellent
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This is a very good free verse. It reminds me of my Grandma who died a few months ago. She lived in a nursing home for 4 years. So sad to get to a point in life where you feel like a wilted flower. It seems people get placed in a home and others forget about them.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 25-Jan-2016
    Thanks so much, Melissa. It is a hard topic but I really felt strong about the need to write this.
Comment from TAB_that's me
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It reminds me of two years ago as we waited for Mom to die in the nursing home. It is really hard for me to visit others there though I did a visit a friend a few times this past Fall. That is so kind of you to visit others there. Great poem Karen.

teresa

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Teresa. I understand why it would be hard. I was visiting a mentor from my college days. She passed away in December but I plan to keep visiting some of the others I met there. I think It is one of my gifts.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This poem is a blessing, Karen. So moving. Thank you for taking time with the forgotten and disenfranchised.

Feeling less like someone
and more like some thing,
waiting to be tossed away.

Beautifully put, Karen.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks so much, Jay, for your high review and for your understanding of its message. It is a topic dear to my heart.

reply by Jay Squires on 25-Jan-2016
    I have to be interested. I never know when I might be sitting at that window when you walk in my room. But watch out for me. Divert and then attack.
Comment from nancyjam
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a sad but touching free verse.
Sadly, a very real situation for so many.
Wonderful details that create the reality
of a woman who has outlived friends and
family and is just waiting for death.
Nancy

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thank you, Nancy. I appreciate your high review and kind comments.
    It is a hard topic but I felt led to write about it.
Comment from GWinterwin
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Such realistic words here telling of how many of the elderly feel I'm sure. How lonesome, and scary to know your days on earth must be about over. Even as a Christian knowing you are going to a better place, you still are afraid of the unknown. It must be terrible to go through this time of life.

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks so much for your high rating and comments. It is not so much growing old as it is loosing ones independence, I think.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Excellent
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Hello:
A very fine poem- Your words are well chosen. But the art work I do not feel match the feel of the poem-- which is sad. The theme of the poem is depression and sadness why the pink back ground? . Thanks for sharing--
Bill

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Bill. Good question...maybe trying to contrast the sad tone with a lighter shade?
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
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I so hope hubby and I pass away before we become that person in the wheelchair. This made me want to cry! We live too long.

trapped in the maze
of her life's last stage.
Feeling less like someone
and more like some thing,
waiting to be tossed away.

I wonder if this would be true of those who have lost all their memories?


 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Sorry, Shari...didnt mean to make you sad. It is a hard topic and I think we all fear losing our independence. Maybe it is easier if you just cant remember. I am just going to live today 'cause that's all we got anyway.
    Someone wrote the other day that if they go to the nursing home, they are going to write on the bathroom stalls in cursive because no one will be able to read it. lol
Comment from Joan E.
Excellent
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My mother spent the last years of her life in a nursing home due to MS. Fortunately, she retained her identify and had many visitors including the staff--she was like their great aunt. Thanks for the memories even though your theme is less positive. I particularly admired your "wilted flower" and "lost friend" similes along with your "maze" metaphor and repeat for emphasis. Best wishes in the free verse contest and continue your advocacy- Joan

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Joan. I appreciate your review. It is a hard subject but one that does need an advocate.
Comment from acerisestory
Excellent
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Your poem is a sad one, boxergirl, and well written.

I am a hospice volunteer. I visit patients in nursing homes, and I understand very well the message of your poem. So many are there just waiting to die, unfortunately.

Your free verse has a very nice flow, and I very much like the presentation. The wilted flower is evocative.

Well done! Best of luck in the contest. Alana

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Alana. I am sure you did see plenty of suffering. God bless you for your work with hospice.
Comment from krys123
Excellent
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Karyn;
-the metaphorical congruency of the wilted rose picture and the person's life in an old age home is very appropriate and relative to your conceptual theme and complementary to your writing.
-all throughout your writing you convey the sadness that one would see on a person who is wilting away in a home where she has outlived all of her relatives and slowly sits and only wishes that one time she has a memory that can relieve her from the monotonous sounds of the clock.
-the imagery is so well written that the feelings just jump up and irritate me beneath my skin as I read this sad writing of this lonely woman.
-good luck in the contest and may the good Lord be with you always Karen.
Alex

 Comment Written 24-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
    Thank you for your review and comments, Alex. It is a sad subject but I felt compelled to share it.
reply by krys123 on 24-Jan-2016
    you are very welcome Karen.
    Alex