Texas Dream Catcher
Viewing comments for Chapter 79 "Chapter Veinticuatro, (24) Part Dos"Drug & human trafficking, can romance win?
37 total reviews
Comment from ciliverde
I've been out of town, hope I didn;t miss too much. I hope Jim is going to be okay...he should have been more careful! Although I agree, Soni does seem to be a pretty amazing lady.
Nice job here,
Carol
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
  |
I've been out of town, hope I didn;t miss too much. I hope Jim is going to be okay...he should have been more careful! Although I agree, Soni does seem to be a pretty amazing lady.
Nice job here,
Carol
Comment Written 23-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for taking time to review this when there's no money attached. I appreciate it.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Another good chapter, my friend. I love the way she took care of the snake. One brave woman, for sure. I didn't find any spags. Looking forward to the next one~Debbie
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
|
Another good chapter, my friend. I love the way she took care of the snake. One brave woman, for sure. I didn't find any spags. Looking forward to the next one~Debbie
Comment Written 23-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for leaving this kind review.
Comment from rmj09
The focus Jacob and Soni staying out of sight.
The story line development Soni behind a boulder and Jacob in a cave hiding away from the guys after them. Soni wants to see who they are as she recognizes his voice, but doesn't not even to kill a rattlesnake, which she splits in half. But Jacob raised his hat to Soni and they see this.
The dialog is forming a new mental picture of the characters Soni can withdraw from seeing who they are and Jacob forgets to hold still in the cave.
The narration shows Soni throw her knife and split the snake in half and Jacob raise his hat to Soni.
The hook has Jacob not only given himself but Soni's position away?
The emotion felt fear when the rattler started to sound, joy when Jacob realizes how much she means to him and anger that he made such a stupid mistake.
There is suspense throughout the chapter.
Barbara, this is really moving along great. Have a great week. Rita
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
 |
The focus Jacob and Soni staying out of sight.
The story line development Soni behind a boulder and Jacob in a cave hiding away from the guys after them. Soni wants to see who they are as she recognizes his voice, but doesn't not even to kill a rattlesnake, which she splits in half. But Jacob raised his hat to Soni and they see this.
The dialog is forming a new mental picture of the characters Soni can withdraw from seeing who they are and Jacob forgets to hold still in the cave.
The narration shows Soni throw her knife and split the snake in half and Jacob raise his hat to Soni.
The hook has Jacob not only given himself but Soni's position away?
The emotion felt fear when the rattler started to sound, joy when Jacob realizes how much she means to him and anger that he made such a stupid mistake.
There is suspense throughout the chapter.
Barbara, this is really moving along great. Have a great week. Rita
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for dropping by and leaving this kind review.
Comment from trumby
It's been a pleasure to follow this story.
I didn't think that anyone used the word "scoundrel" anymore.
What year is this set in?
also, I'm not sure what's thinking, talking or texting when he's talking to his mate.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
|
It's been a pleasure to follow this story.
I didn't think that anyone used the word "scoundrel" anymore.
What year is this set in?
also, I'm not sure what's thinking, talking or texting when he's talking to his mate.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from DonandVicki
Well written and the story is easy to follow .I enjoyed the visuals that you creatwith your words. The splitting the rattle snake in to is quite exciting. I will have to go back and catch up with the story.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
|
Well written and the story is easy to follow .I enjoyed the visuals that you creatwith your words. The splitting the rattle snake in to is quite exciting. I will have to go back and catch up with the story.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from country ranch writer
OKAY THE PLOT THICKENS NOW HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO GET THEM SPOTTED WHAT HAS HE GONE AND DONE WILL THEY CATCH THEM AND HOLD THEM OR CAN THEY SNEAK AWAY
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
|
OKAY THE PLOT THICKENS NOW HE WAS DUMB ENOUGH TO GET THEM SPOTTED WHAT HAS HE GONE AND DONE WILL THEY CATCH THEM AND HOLD THEM OR CAN THEY SNEAK AWAY
Comment Written 21-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
I am not sure what will happen, but it does happen tomorrow. Thank you for the kind review.
-
S M I L E S
Comment from busses
I enjoyed this read. It is refreshing to have a writer NOT write about a couple jumping into bed at first glance. I haven't read the rest of your chapters,( and I will) but I'm sure they follow through with the restraint shown here. This is a positive, well thought out, well rounded story line. I look forward to reading the rest.
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
|
I enjoyed this read. It is refreshing to have a writer NOT write about a couple jumping into bed at first glance. I haven't read the rest of your chapters,( and I will) but I'm sure they follow through with the restraint shown here. This is a positive, well thought out, well rounded story line. I look forward to reading the rest.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for your encouraging review. I get gigged sometimes for not doing a traditional romance.
-
Giggled or not you are headed in a direction only you should care about. Keep on your path barbera wilkey
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A well written chapter, Barbara ---
On query - take another look at this paragraph - after he shoves phone into his pocket is the rest his thoughts or is it speech? If speech then there inverted commas missing????
ALSO - last part needs a comma adding and a question mark instead of period.
"My cohort, the one who keeps getting me into these messes. Just do your job!" Jim shoved his phone into his pocket. The one who doesn't believe a word I say, and thinks I'm a scoundrel. That one. How'd that photo get sent, anyway? Kuruk(,) are you at work, again[.](?)
Margaret
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
|
A well written chapter, Barbara ---
On query - take another look at this paragraph - after he shoves phone into his pocket is the rest his thoughts or is it speech? If speech then there inverted commas missing????
ALSO - last part needs a comma adding and a question mark instead of period.
"My cohort, the one who keeps getting me into these messes. Just do your job!" Jim shoved his phone into his pocket. The one who doesn't believe a word I say, and thinks I'm a scoundrel. That one. How'd that photo get sent, anyway? Kuruk(,) are you at work, again[.](?)
Margaret
Comment Written 21-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for the kind review. I am off to make the changes right now.
Comment from pbroussard209
Really? That's where you are ending this? lol, great chapter the suspense keeps building and the messes these two keep getting into willing or not, makes for an exciting read.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2016
|
Really? That's where you are ending this? lol, great chapter the suspense keeps building and the messes these two keep getting into willing or not, makes for an exciting read.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2016
-
I appreciate your review. It caused me to smile. Thank you.
Comment from rama devi
Superb suspense. Excellent swift pacing and sentence mechanics, etc. Good balance of the two POVs with lots of internal dialog. Good descriptive narrative too.
Just a few suggestions:
* He held up his phone. I wish I could get a better picture.
CONSIDER TRIMMING 'I', so it sounds more akin to internal dialog. we often drop pronouns (especially I) with internal dialog.
Wish I could get a better picture
*Kuruk(,) are you at work, again.(?)
*"The longer they hang around(,) the better chance they have of discovering Soni,"
Busy offline these days--and Internet is slow here in India, too...so may be visiting FS only intermittently.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
|
Superb suspense. Excellent swift pacing and sentence mechanics, etc. Good balance of the two POVs with lots of internal dialog. Good descriptive narrative too.
Just a few suggestions:
* He held up his phone. I wish I could get a better picture.
CONSIDER TRIMMING 'I', so it sounds more akin to internal dialog. we often drop pronouns (especially I) with internal dialog.
Wish I could get a better picture
*Kuruk(,) are you at work, again.(?)
*"The longer they hang around(,) the better chance they have of discovering Soni,"
Busy offline these days--and Internet is slow here in India, too...so may be visiting FS only intermittently.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 21-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
-
Thank you for the kind review. I am off to make the changes right now.
-
:-))
