The Daredevil Girls From Bunker Hil
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Daredevil Girl Motto"A fantasy novel about good fighting evil.
23 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I'm still a sucker for feel good family type stories that can be enjoyed by every one. There just aren't enough of them being written anywhere these days. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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I'm still a sucker for feel good family type stories that can be enjoyed by every one. There just aren't enough of them being written anywhere these days. Thanks for another fine chapter. :-)
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 13-Feb-2016
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Again, thanks for the brilliant review!
Comment from A.A.A.EXHILARATING RIDE
Oh! I love how this is unfolding! Indeed I can feel at one with Nancy as she ponders jeopardizing her loved job and stable income for a `supernatural or higher calling'! And, I think you walk readers through this journey well; and even better reinforce the essence of your story in the poem. Well done, Rhonda!
Just one slip `the wall - itself or walls themselves'. Thanks so much, blessings, Maureen*&*
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
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Oh! I love how this is unfolding! Indeed I can feel at one with Nancy as she ponders jeopardizing her loved job and stable income for a `supernatural or higher calling'! And, I think you walk readers through this journey well; and even better reinforce the essence of your story in the poem. Well done, Rhonda!
Just one slip `the wall - itself or walls themselves'. Thanks so much, blessings, Maureen*&*
Comment Written 23-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
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Thanks, Maureen, for pointing out the error. I will correct it, and thanks, so much for the six stars, and the wonderful support. You are a dear!
Rhonda
Comment from JarodMcLeay1
I liked how you have a form of supernatural war happening during the characters spare time, and be good in their normal lives, I would possible read it once it is finished, if you are making a full novel. And I have a question of how to post a novel or parts of it on here?
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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I liked how you have a form of supernatural war happening during the characters spare time, and be good in their normal lives, I would possible read it once it is finished, if you are making a full novel. And I have a question of how to post a novel or parts of it on here?
Comment Written 18-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
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Thank you for your comments, and, yes, it will be a full novel. It was already, but I am rewriting it. I have 6 books published on amazon.com, but I am refining my skills here, and the first one I wrote, which is the one I'm posting now, I'm redoing.
To post here, go to "write" then "Post a book", then follow the directions. It's really pretty easy. Each time you add a chapter, you to to "post a book" and then "add a chapter". Let me know if you need further instructions. Good luck. What's your genre?
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thank you.
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It's a Fantasy novel with war against the supernatural.
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Sounds a lot like mine! Great! I'll try to follow it.
Comment from Bill O'Bier
I liked this piece and enjoyed reading it. The language you chose creates clear moving images. Good job and thanks for sharing. I see no changes.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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I liked this piece and enjoyed reading it. The language you chose creates clear moving images. Good job and thanks for sharing. I see no changes.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Thank you so much, Bill, for the kind and supportive review.
Comment from foxangie123
T the top you are missing an l as you spell Hill. Where is this place may I ask? Are you captivating death in this? It is really good either way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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T the top you are missing an l as you spell Hill. Where is this place may I ask? Are you captivating death in this? It is really good either way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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I'm not sure I understand your review, but the place is imaginary as are the characters, hence fantasy. Thanks for taking the time to read it.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
A well written chapter, Rhona - it
seems Mrs Pierson is making Nancy
think twice and might take the
challenge.
one minor thing:
"Well, that reinforces your statement about money not being a motivating factor[,](.)" she smiled. - HERE, Rhonda, it should be a period after "factor" as it's followed by an action (smiled)
Margaret
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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A well written chapter, Rhona - it
seems Mrs Pierson is making Nancy
think twice and might take the
challenge.
one minor thing:
"Well, that reinforces your statement about money not being a motivating factor[,](.)" she smiled. - HERE, Rhonda, it should be a period after "factor" as it's followed by an action (smiled)
Margaret
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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I've often wondered which to put when say, "she smiled, or she laughed", etc. Thank you for the clarification!
Comment from Green Lake Girl
An interesting tale written by a teacher about teachers. A great combination! I chuckled as I read the cajoling ways of Mrs. Pierson. So like a teacher. Making people step outside their comfort zone.
I love your author's notes. Isn't it amazing how parents continue to be an influence in our lives even when they've passed?
Enjoyable story, Rhonda. Write on!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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An interesting tale written by a teacher about teachers. A great combination! I chuckled as I read the cajoling ways of Mrs. Pierson. So like a teacher. Making people step outside their comfort zone.
I love your author's notes. Isn't it amazing how parents continue to be an influence in our lives even when they've passed?
Enjoyable story, Rhonda. Write on!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Thank you so much. You'll find out the principal has ulterior motives, but don't the all? Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, your input is invaluable. I can't wait to hear from the naughty ghost again, too!
Thanks again,
Rhonda
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You and the naughty ghost! Be careful what you ask for . . . . . . .
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Yeah, you're right, not telling what he's capable of!
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello Rhonda,
Nice piece of Fantasy Science Fiction in continuation!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching the theme!
Smooth and captivating flow throughout, depicting the superiority of power of persuasion and self-realization. Convince or get convinced - A good message!
These lines are particularly noteworthy:
"No, Mrs. Pierson," Nancy admitted softly, "The word maybe is nowhere in our motto, nor will it ever be. I will take your challenge."
Superb!
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Hello Rhonda,
Nice piece of Fantasy Science Fiction in continuation!
Wording is simple, impressive and perfectly matching the theme!
Smooth and captivating flow throughout, depicting the superiority of power of persuasion and self-realization. Convince or get convinced - A good message!
These lines are particularly noteworthy:
"No, Mrs. Pierson," Nancy admitted softly, "The word maybe is nowhere in our motto, nor will it ever be. I will take your challenge."
Superb!
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Wow, thank you so much for the six star rating, what a wonderful gift! Equally important is the quite detailed review. Such a review is very important when putting together a long narrative such as a novel. I do appreciate your taking the time.
Take care,
Rhonda
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Pardna. Great work. This is very entertauining stuff my friend.
"but you have to understand fighting evil creatures is hard work with little to no reward." (hahaha! Sounds like me at work here at the backpackers after they come back from the pub on Friday and Saturday nights! Have you been reading my diary again? lol)
"You've got to be kidding me," Nancy protested." (The Principle sounds like a groupie, maybe she was.)
Ahhhhh! So she's going to do it! How cool. For a while there I thought she might chicken out. Bring on the next one, I'm hooked.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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G'day Pardna. Great work. This is very entertauining stuff my friend.
"but you have to understand fighting evil creatures is hard work with little to no reward." (hahaha! Sounds like me at work here at the backpackers after they come back from the pub on Friday and Saturday nights! Have you been reading my diary again? lol)
"You've got to be kidding me," Nancy protested." (The Principle sounds like a groupie, maybe she was.)
Ahhhhh! So she's going to do it! How cool. For a while there I thought she might chicken out. Bring on the next one, I'm hooked.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 17-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2016
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Wow, Fez, I had no idea you knew I've been sneaking a peak at your diary. Delia is in on it as well! Haha.
The principal has her reasons...groupie? maybe? a follower? definitely!
Thank you for the beautiful six stars! Nancy and all the Daredevil bunch thank you as well, now I'm off to read your post. Have a great week with the rascally backpackers.
My regards to Baby.
Comment from boxergirl
Those principals always know how to get to us, huh?
And Ms. Pierson is no exception...she knew she what to say to awaken Nancy's commitment to the club. Good job, Rhonda. :-)
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016
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Those principals always know how to get to us, huh?
And Ms. Pierson is no exception...she knew she what to say to awaken Nancy's commitment to the club. Good job, Rhonda. :-)
Comment Written 16-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016
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Thank you, and yes, principals are very skilled at getting us into messes! Haha,
Thanks my friend!
