Reviews from

#NotInMyName

My feelings on war...

17 total reviews 
Comment from For better for verse
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Liked your poem, you are a true 'wordsmith' and it certainly highlights what is a very serious issue for all of us.
Thought it was very good and enjoyed reading it.
Good luck getting back into writing.

 Comment Written 30-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 01-Oct-2017
    Thank you so much for your kind review, Jaq 😀
Comment from robyn corum
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Hello there!

I don't think I have run across your writing before. It's really nice to 'meet you'. *smile* It looks like you wrote this a while back and are just re-promoting it now. Are you starting to dip your toes back into the writing process after a while away? If so, good for you! That can often be a tough thing to do, but it's always profitable. Good luck to you.

Though I don't agree with everything you've said in this piece, I also hate war and hope that one day they can all end. I don't see that happening, though. The Bible clearly says that as long as the world stands there will be wars. UGH. That's the nature of man, unfortunately. Thanks for sharing. Have a super day!

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    Many thanks Robyn and yes I am just returning to see how it goes. I don't think we will ever all agree about war. It's an evil we can do without. Take care and thanks again. Jaq :)
Comment from Lucian Carter
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I'm not a big fan of war. I won't say it is always avoidable, but it's well worth trying.

Moving on the poem itself:

"decimate, exterminate, annihilate" is a superb turn of phrase.

Interesting use of a hashtag as a title. I'm surprised its not more common in an era of Twitterature.

I had no issues with the free verse style. I hope you write more, as this was well worth reading.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    Many thanks for that special review. I have only just returned to Fanstory, so one day at a time. Once again, thank you. Jaq :)
Comment from mermaids
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The horrors of war is clear in your words. You show the impact on the youngest victims, children. Excellent free verse form that expresses emotions and vivid scenes.

 Comment Written 29-Sep-2017


reply by the author on 29-Sep-2017
    I'm very glad you enjoyed my poem mermaids and I hope to be around more to look at and review everyone's work. Kind regards, Jaq :)
Comment from closetpoetjester
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Not in my name either Jaqualish!
A strong statement about the stupidity of war and who ultimately pays the price. The governments not only have to step forward and take the blame but they need to fuckin well do something about it.
Love your work...happy trails, my friend. Hope you are well.
I'm flat to the board Down Under
Hugs Pippalish
xoxo

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
    Aww Pippalicious how's it going my friend? Many thanks for the fab review and sixer hon. I'm so fed up of our world always being at war somewhere. :(

    Glad to hear that you are keeping busy hon. Still working away here. Just trying to get back into the mood of writing. Lost all my confidence.

    Once again sweetie thanks and hopefully we'll speak soon xxx Jaq xxx
Comment from Joy Graham
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Well said, Jaq Cee! Long time no see. Glad to see you back :) Your writing is to the point and strong emotions come through loud and clear. I sure hope somebody comes up with a solution to ISIS. It's put everybody in fear mode.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2016
    Thanks Joy, great to see you again on here too. It's a mucked up world we live in indeed. Many thanks for your review, Blessings Jaq xx
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A very serious topic, and it is just what you say a selfish desire to gain richness and power and the innocent is the ones who die and suffer for their goals.

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2016
    Sandra many thanks for your review. The greed of the 1% impacts on the other 99% of the world. It's time to see thse wars for what they are. Blessings, Jaq xx
Comment from Jumbo J
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Hi Jaq,
great to see you flexing your poetic muscles... at long last and very welcomed... you have a strong and powerful voice for justice, preservation and the right to live a healthy-normal life devoid of the extensive reasoning to what the West calls justified... justified to who, or what?

Now bear with me, I may go on a tad of a rant... 'cause on one hand I know there are truly brave souls fighting for the end to tierney with nothing but the truest of intent and freedom from an evil force... and on the other, I see clandestine motives to why some wars are worth fighting, while others are left to fester in their own brutality... obviously the resources are not a draw-card.. But no matter on my reactions from your words... the poem and it's construction and content...

Loved your opening verse... a very powerful statement and one I can see most of us having... 'War'--definitely not in my name.

Suggestions?

Maybe just a format thing...

your battle-cry...
"We're here to set you free!"
Now you'll have the taste...
of a 'REAL' democracy.

The goal (they) seek...

and just in my opinion... your last line... are only the western governments to blame?

I love the fact the previous line states Western governments step forward... take responsibility and yes, they have made policy decisions for way too long that have laid-way to despicable actions... but I think you could soften your resolve to maybe...
if you're not the solution... then you are the blame...

But in saying that, these are your thoughts... and very passionate ones at that... which I totally agree with to a point of where blame resides-totally... blame is very rarely 'black or white' The powers that rule put things in place this way to keep us divided and blaming each other... when the only thing that matters is... every soul should have the right to a normal and safe existence... man, woman, child or for that matter all of nature's creatures... but evil is ruled by greed and power, that's who we need to speak out against.

Never stop speaking your power... everyone has the right to their opinion and their voice... and I respect yours!

A little footnote;
First thing that should happen when one joins this site is... the site provides an in-your-face review-rating rules and requirements... I know they are supplied if one knows where to go looking... but it should be laid out straight... and not adhering to that should come with penalties... a one star rating... really?

Hey Jaq... may 2016 drift gentle-calming trade winds of Peace, Joy, Enthusiasm, Acceptance and Abundance to all of your dreams and desires... be well, be safe and most of all... be-you!

With our thoughts we create,
a collective call for peace,
James vx's.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 10-Jan-2016
    Ahhh my dear friend James, it's so lovely to hear your words again. You are correct, I could have softened the blow, I will rethink that. Thank you.

    I am ex Royal Air Force and my son-in-law is in the Royal Air Force and has completed two tours of Afghanistan. I can see the two sides also my friend as I know you do. I worry we may lose him when he next has a tour of a war-torn country. For what? People buy into the mainstream media's take on it that we are helping these people, who runs the mainstream media? Governments!! Would we be in there 'helping if there was nothing in it for us? No, definitely not, in my honest opinion.

    Anyhoooo each to their own and I guess not everyone is going to like what I write although I did feel the reasoning for it was a tad unfair. But, I will survive ;) lol.

    Love, light and blessing aplenty to you and Jade. Take good care of yourselves and I hope 2016 brings you all you need in your lives. Jaq xxxx
Comment from William Ross
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This is well written, it is a shame many innocent die in war. it seems isis and other terrorists are is doing most of that killing. No matter who we each decide to blame.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
    Very true William there are no winners in war. Thanks so much. Blessings, Jaq x
Comment from kiwisteveh
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Quite a powerful piece - you don't pull any punches as you illustrate the horrors of modern warfare and its effect on the innocents, especially the children.

Vivid imagery here:
as they're left to lie and to die
in the rubble, covered in blood,
drowning in the claret, as it morphs
the earth into mud,

and here:
in bloody, rancid ditches.

Line 7 'yet still' - both words mean the same (tautology) - you'll want to keep 'still' for the rhyme so think how you could re-word the end of this line.

I thought this was a little clumsy:
But, the goal you seek is oil, gas or riches
which leave the innocents dying-
... it is not those things that leave innocents dying, but the government policies to get them.

Thought-provoking piece. BTW I agree completely!

Steve

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
    Hi Steve, Thank you so much for your very detailed and helpful review. I am just getting back into to writing again so any criticism is helpful. Blessings, Jaq xx