Comment from Just2Write

Excellent

LOL - I LOVED this. Spiders... not so much. A great poem in 4-6-4 - and a good piece of humour as well. I never thought of the vacuum cleaner as a god before. But, I do know I hate them, and my dog is terrified of them. Excellent title, too. It is the key to the whole pun.
Rose.

 Comment Written 09-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016

Thanks again, Rose.

Just a bit of fun here. We really do seem to have an enormois number of webs around at the moment.

Steve

reply by Just2Write on 12-Jan-2016

Great - I hope they're catching lots of mosquitoes. R.

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

AAAAhhhh
so cute and so true.
Loved the last line.
Brought the laughter and fun of the piece.
Oh yes, time is coming.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Barb - just a piece of fun.

Steve

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Hahahaha! Funny!

When I saw your title my mind went to the children's choir I accompanied when my kids sang with them. The choir director used to tell the kids to take a big breath like they were sucking all the air up in the room. LOL!!! I'm laughing because my mind sure wanders to strange places at times.

I enjoyed your ooem. I worried you were going to poke fun at religions, but was delighted with the vacuum cleaner sucking up the spiders. Well done!

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Joy. Some religions deserve to have fun poked at them - especially the ones that do suck in the vulnerable.

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

A very good 5-7-5, Steve. I like the imagery you've created. I can just picture hundreds of the little buggers being sucked in by the vacuum ... a quick way to get rid of them. :)

Connie

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Yep, better than sweeping - then you've still got to find something to do with them.

Steve

Comment from Mark Valentine

Excellent

You have to empty that bag right away though or they'll crawl back out. A very original and creative poem - perhaps the first 5-7-5 on Fanstory that has addressed the much-neglected phenomenon of spider control. Thanks for the laugh.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Mark - I wonder what it's like in there in the dark. Are they all busy building webs?

Steve

Comment from Tessa Kay

Excellent

You don't vacuum up spiders, do you? Mind you, their webs can become quite annoying. Late for spring cleaning? I'm only heading that way.
:)

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Tessa.

We are in mid-summer here... Yep, vaccuming is the way to go for these little blighters - webs everywhere at the moment.

Steve

Comment from Neonewman

Excellent

I do not fair with freaking spiders. The are menacing looking creatures that bring forth terror in my being. Well crafted piece you have delivered which gave me the heebe jeebe's.
God bless!
Steve

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Steve. These ones are not so terrifying - just a damn nuisance to have around the house...

Steve

reply by Neonewman on 08-Jan-2016

right!

reply by Anonymous Member on 11-Jan-2016

right!

Comment from mfowler

Excellent

I was expecting a religious outpouring when I first read that line, but you turned it into a great giggle with the follow up. Almost cargo-cultish in their obsession to be sucked into the great vacuum that is a cleaning bag, these little critters are relentless. My wife has assigned me Hoover duties now I'm retired an one of the first things I noted was how many arachnids had gone up the spout. I felt bad enough but now you're telling me it's a religious moment. Conscience appeased. LOL. I like the bookended focus on the 'rush to God' and 'Hoover welcomes them' sandwiching the reality of the spiders right in the middle. This was fun. Great little poem.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Mark. I wasn't sure whether a spider god would be called Hoover or Dyson!

These are the little web-nuisance critters that infest our house - vacuuming seems the most effective way to get rid of them temporarily at least.

Steve

reply by mfowler on 08-Jan-2016

Hoover probably attests to the longevity of the little beasties or even their religion given its early/mid-twentieth century origins. But, Dyson's a crack name if the religion is more recently derived. My wife has worshipped at the spout of Dyson for years but the last one was just a bad little sucker, so we replaced it with a Hoover a couple of months back. Ironic, huh! Enjoyed your wit in this one.

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Steve;
-this is something I would think that Outer Limits would have under show. Or even maybe Twilight Zone.
-It's as much graphic as you can get as your imagery is exquisitely expressive and vividly and demonstratively descriptive throughout.
-I think is a better way than squishing to spiders.
-Thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Alex. Just a bit of fun really.

Steve

reply by krys123 on 10-Jan-2016

You are so welcome Steve.
Alex

Comment from lightink

Excellent

I always had trouble killing any creatures - but since I have a toddler around I am merciless. I hope you don't have redbacks around! Stay safe, my friend!
Spring cleaning poetry! That would make a great contest! :)

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2016

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reply by the author on 08-Jan-2016

Thanks, Jyoti.
Nope, new Zealand is almost totally free of venomous creatures. We do have one nasty spider, but he sticks to the outside and is relatively rare.

Steve