Reviews from

Christine's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 43 "'People Watch'"
Poems /stories on Fanstory

10 total reviews 
Comment from Liilia
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This poem is so refreshing and personable that I feel like I have a window to your soul. Seems like people who like to write, whether stories or poems or whatever, are more likely to imagine what others are thinking, doing, or what their lives may be like. Balzac said something like that in a book called "An Inimitable Grace" (not sure of the exact title). Love the various scenarios you mention - the young, the challenged, the obsessive, the casual, the formal, etc. etc. I do love people watching although some are very disturbing - like when parents are very rough on their kids and when people talk in loud voices (often on cellphones these days). Thanks for this lovely poem and for using my drawing to illustrate.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
    Hi Liilia, Thank you for your lovely review and thoughts about my poem and I searched for a good picture and loved the image and thought she was very appropriate so I find your work well worth the search. Yes people watching can be interesting and yes some people act innapropriately but sometimes one just has to bite ones tongue so to speak. Yes I also detest loud cell phone discusssions sometimes I dont think they realise that others are around. I had fun trying this new style and so I am thrilled you thought it worth a six stars so thank you thanks you. Cheers and have a great 2016 Christine😃
reply by Liilia on 07-Jan-2016
    Dear Christine: If this poem is in a new style - it's a winner. Keep 'pushing the envelope' and watching the 'passing parade.' Wishing you a great day. Liilia
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
    thanks Liilia Cheers Christine
Comment from Muffins
Excellent
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A gentle tone curves through this poem. Its quiet nature gives the theme a reflective outlook on how we interact with each other without the need of conversation or touch.

People watching is an art form, I believe, is slowly dying.

Fantastic poem. A pleasure to read.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2016
    Hi Muffins, What a lovely review and comments for my poem and yes we are losing the art of communication in many ways and yes people watching could be an art. the comimgs and goings create for many interesting thoughts. I am so pleasd you like this and a big Cheers to you Christine😃
Comment from amada
Excellent
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Well Christine, I like to observe people too. Specially the ones who continue appears in my walks, the ladies with puppies, husbands and wives holding, or not holding hands. It's a delightful little world.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
    Hi amada, People watching is fun isn't it and yes you do often see the same people daily and always makes one warm and fuzzy inside. Glad to have you feedback fellow ' poeple watcher' Cheers Christine😄
Comment from Jared_L
Excellent
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Wowww! This one read really smooth for me..it clicked. I can identify with the story as well and at times people watch as well. The word usage explanations were much appreciated, I never would have understood your references as I only wish I was from Australia...

Third stanza, third line, the use of an...

"Or maybe just an casual look, with short, a T, and runners "

It didn't sound right so I researched it. "In any case, the rule is that you use "an" if the next word begins with a vowel sound. Vowel sound is crucial here because many words that begin with vowel letters do not begin with vowel sounds (e.g. user) and vice versa (e.g. hour)" english.stackexchange.com/questions/152/when-should-i-use-a-vs-an

Last stanza first line is metered right but does not flow from my lips, it makes me pause as I read it. It is written a little different than the others..

As I read this and try to pick out my favorite line there are too many! in the end I think by a narrow margin it is "And kids with caps on back-to-front, this look is for the gunners." It is descriptive creating a specific vivid picture but open enough to allow the reader to create the specifics your after. I liked the way that you expressed this is in perfect meter with the rest of the poem. So many good lines...

I like this work even better than the last couple I have read. Thank you for sharing your art!



 Comment Written 05-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2016
    Hi Jared, You are a very astute reviewer and I thank you for reading my work and I am glad you go over it with as we would say 'with a fine tooth comb' meaning every word. And I have made a change to that first line last stanza and dropped the do I struggled with this line the most to make it flow as I wanted a 7 syllable count but it is much better just being a 6 so I appreciate your point. Regarding your comment about short, a T and runners. I should have had an s on shorts and 'a T' refers to a Tee Shirt in Australia if that helps with the vowel issue. I am pleased to have you on board and can see your astute mind at work. More to come Cheers Christine
Comment from Mark Valentine
Excellent
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A great topic for a poem. I do this at airports all the time and, like you, make up stories about what the other people's lives are like. I love that your attitude toward people watching is not gossipy nor judgmental, but respectful and playful - it makes me feel better about my doing it. Also, thatnks for adding "Gunner" to my vocabulary - great word!

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Mark , Thank a lot for having a read and I am glad you are ' one of us ' LOL . I took my kids to the airport the other day and we had a bit of a wait and so I had a great opportunity to people watch and hence my inspiration for this poem. yes 'gunner'is a good one by all means use it I'd love to see it in a piece you write I would smile . Cheers Christine😀
Comment from Jean Lutz
Excellent
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I suspect you would find much to see in New Orleans. Souls wander day and night. Mystery, history and glimpses of the future stroll along the crescent city on the winding river. I enjoyed seeing others through your eyes.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Jean, One day I would love to come to New Orleans to see this exciting place and yes I could do a little people watching as well LOL. Thanks for stopping by to have a read and I am glad I could show you my views Cheers Christine😃
Comment from William Ross
Excellent
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Very good and well written i like to sit and people watch also. See some strange stuff sometimes. Great job on this. Hope you enjoyed the holidays.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi William Thanks for reading and for you great comments and yes it is fun to just watch people come and go and yes I am enjoying my holidays. another 3 weeks left. plenty of time to find a quiet spot and watch LOL. Cheers Christine😀
Comment from pharp
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Christine,

My friend you really did nail this poem. It is so beautifully written with excellent rhyming and meter, very smooth flow and it is a poem that one would read over and over. I enjoyed every word of this great poem. Thanks so much for sharing.
Let me share this with you, every time I visit my doctors office (it seems I spend most of my time there) I watch people and always say a prayer for them. Yes, I have my health issues but we never know what others are going through. This came to my mind as I was reading your delightful poem. Blessings my friend..........Portia

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Portia, Another beautiful review from you for my work I am thrilled with this and I think secretly we all do a little people watching when the opportunity arises. I do wish you well for your up coming surgery and will surround you in white to keep you safe . As always A hug and smile and Cheers Christine😃
Comment from brenda bickers
Excellent
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Hi, Chrissy
I really like poems that ebb and flow with lots of rhyme and rhythm; this one certainly had it all.
Well put together and a pleasure to read.
Thank you,
Brenda

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Brenda, Thank you very much for your lovely comments and for you time to resd and review my poem . I do like rhyme and rhythm best so pleased that you do to Cheers Christine😃
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Hello Chrissy :)

I agree with you, I love to watch people too. There are all kinds of people in all shapes and size, ethnicity, body leanguage, etc... You chose a good topic for your poem. Nice presentation too.
Gypsy

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Gypsy, Yes it can be very interesting and I love to quietly people watch when I am at a place for sometime. thanks for your support and great comments. A 😀am really glad you liked this Cheers always Christine