Comment from Zue65

Excellent

Little children will surely love this poem and the story woven into each line. Even teachers will recommend this for reading in classrooms. The healthy competition and Hilda winning the said contest that ended too in a happy ending in the kingdom. Thanks for sharing an interesting and funny write. God bless.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 23-Dec-2015

Thank you!

This is the fifth of my Gobbledegook poems - I'm not going to give up until I've got Hilda and Rupert walking down the aisle!

Steve

Comment from lightink

Excellent

This poem is pure joy! Imaginative, playful with an incredible rhythm.
You used a lot of anapestic feet. I kept trying to scan the meter to figure out the pattern but I couldn't! So, please, please, please, of it's one given pattern, tell me what it is! Sorry for getting a bit geeky!
I especially enjoyed the teasing words at the end:
If the smooching has finished..... let the feasting begin!"
Lovely poem!
Thank you for sharing!

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Jyoti, thanks for the wonderful review. This is the fifth Gobbledegooks poem I have written - all are similarly imaginative and playful in their use of language.

To answer your question about the meter - you are right to pick that the basic meter is anapaestic. I think what you may find confusing is that there are many variations. I believe that strict regularity of meter is not as important as many people think. A quick scan of the works of Byron, Wordsworth, Tennyson and Shelley amongst others will show they were not concerned about flawless meter.

Here are a couple of variations that you will find in my poem instead of the standard anapaestic (4X3=12 syllables)
1. Often the first unstressed syllable is omitted (elision), like this
Here's EV-e-ry BAK-er and PAS-try chef TOO - so only 11 syllables.
Sometimes both the unstressed syllables are omitted - there are several lines like this in the poem too.

2. A common feature of light or humorous verse is to have rhyming on two or more syllables (feminine rhyme) This means that there is an extra unstressed syllable (or two) at the end of the lines. All four lines of the first stanza do this and in fact about 50% of the poem has this feminine ending. One thing I notice when reading aloud is that this extra syllable at the end often compensates for a dropped syllable at the start of the next line. Shenanigan/Marzipanigan is an example of a 3-syllable rhyme - a sure sign that this poem is not to be taken too seriously.

So, to sum up, any line could possibly have fro 10 to 13 (or even 14) syllables, but you'll find the regular di-di-DUM of the anapaestic gluing it all together. BTW I don't think about this stuff as I write - I just hear a pleasing rhythm in my head.

As for the smooching, I reckon by the time I've written another couple of episodes, I'll get these two married off. Just imagine what fun there will be at a Gobbldegooks royal wedding!

Steve

reply by lightink on 22-Dec-2015

Steve, you deserve a reviewing contest vote, just for this reply! Except, I already gave you one! Thank you for explaining the form so willingly and graciously! Wonderful writing! It was very musical but I was going crazy trying to find ONE set meter! :) Thank you again!

Comment from bob cullen

Exceptional

I've said it before, you sir are a genius. How you can balance meter with names like you use is beyond me.

I have just penned an essay titles The Value Of Ratings. You Sir are absolute proof of my comments. If there is a better poet on this site than you, I'll take on the entire All Black forward pack on my own.

Have you ever published a book of poetry? If so, is it available on Amazon?
Hope you have a great Christmas.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Bob, thank you for the extremely flattering comments and the six stars, of course. I am glad you enjoyed my Gobbledegook nonsense - I think this is the fifth poem in the series now, so they're almost a book on their own. I have tried submitting them to a publisher, but no luck so far. Of course, what they really need is a brilliant illustrator to bring them to life.

I'm sure I will get a book together some day, so make sure you stay around long enough to buy it!

Have a great Christmas. News just announced of Brendon McCullum's impending retirement, but he will have one more chance to make a statement against you guys in the tests coming up.

Steve

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

1.) (Remember the girl with the long golden braids[?] )

Steve,

What a fun and delirious story in a poem! It was so much like Seuss that I know everyone has to enjoy it!

*

I smiled and then I laughed all the way through ~
What a fun, happy writing that you've put me through!

*smile*

Favorite (feel-good) lines:
Flakypuff Flora and Shopfront Shenanigan,
Truffles Trelawney and Mousse Marzipanigan.

*

The ovens are heating, the temperature's rising,
And if tempers are tested -- well, it's hardly surprising.

*

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks, Robyn - I'll go insert that question mark.

I think this is the fifth Gobbledegooks episode now - Hilda and her braids have appeared in nearly all of them!

Steve

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Steve - this is a great entry for the contest. Amusing, well written, good aabb rhyme maintained throughout, full of good alliteration. Where can I find the party - sounds great? Good luck in the contest and Merry Christmas and good wishes for the New Year. Regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks, Dorothy.

The Gobbledegookians are renowned for their great parties - the only trouble is getting an invitation!

Returning your good wishes for a happy holiday period.

Steve

Comment from CallieWVU2

Good

I enjoyed this, it reminded me of the love child of Dr. Seuss and the board game that I loved as a child "Candyland" it had a whimsical cadence.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks for the kind words.

Steve

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

A splendiferous competition and cake as well
How does one get to be a judge in the Cakedom
of Goobledegooks. I live in the land of Partakedom
and I'd definite like to partake some
of each of the two cakes of the year
The poem is stupendous but surely you know
it just doesn't taste like the rum-bake or cinnamon snow
Well done, well done; two great cooks from Gobbledegooks
Three stars for each into the mix
in any kingdom that adds up to six

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks for the wonderful poetic review. You can probably tell I had lots of fun with this one.

Steve

Comment from JW

Excellent

This, no doubt, is a very cute poem. In reading it there is no question that you have one fantastic imagination.

The only problem is, now after reading all this - I'm hungry for something sweet. :-)

Thanks for sharing this and do have a very Happy Holiday. JW

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks for the kind words. Wishing you a happy Christmas/New Year as well.

Steve

Comment from Pam (respa)

Exceptional

-I love everything about this poem: the rhyme, the names, the story, the humor, the characters, and the artwork.
-Everything flows and somehow gets organized in "The Kingdom of Gobbledegooks!" and their baking competition.
-A couple of things I thought stood out among so many:
* "Ingredients simple and special and silly"
* "While Truffles trips over a Marshmallow tangle."
* "And the Gobbledegookians give a great cheer"
(I'm picking this one just for the name of the townspeople!)
-Merry Christmas and Happy New Year; may you enjoy one of the
"TWO Cakes of the Year." :)
-Hope you do really well in the contest.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks for the great review and the Christmas wishes. They are returned with a cherry on the top.

Steve

reply by Pam (respa) on 22-Dec-2015

You are very welcome. Make that one cake with ice cream, please:)

Comment from heyjude

Excellent

kiwistevah, a wonderful entry for the share a story
poem contest. I love the rythm and rhyme of this.
Great alliteration all through and what a fun read.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015

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reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015

Thanks for the lovely warm review.

Merry Christmas.

Steve