Reviews from

Wild and Free

Narrative in Alouette form

62 total reviews 
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed this medieval romantic tale of forbidden lovers very much. I was captivated from start to finish. The flow is wonderful and every word where it should be with vivid imagery. Great choice on the artwork as well. Good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 12-Dec-2015
    Thanks for the great review.

    Steve
Comment from rspoet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I loved this alouette poem in the old style
reminds of Poe's Eldorado
and Noyes' Highwayman
neither was an alouette, but had similar themes
Great imagery in sound and sight
the pounding of the horse's hooves
the streaming hair
the desperate escape
But your poem has a much better ending than others
Perfect touch of alliteration
Perfect picture to match
What else could it be but a six
and I have but one left
Now I have none
Very well done
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Don't know 'Eldorado' and ypu missed Scott's 'Young Lochinvar'!

    Thanks for delivering your last six - new supply coming soon....

    Great review, thanks.

    Steve
Comment from Pam (respa)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

-Great artwork.
-A very good poem that tells a really good story.
-The poem flows well and keeps the reader interested till the end.
-Vivid imagery.
-The poem is like one of those old time stories where the man and woman have committed to sharing their life together, but the father will have none of it because of his wishes.
-She makes her decision to flee with him while the father and his men give chase.
-But all is for naught, as
"To the outlaw life
I have wed a wife
Our home in the forest made."


 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thanks for the great review and the six lovely stars.

    Got to let my romantic side out for a little play from time to time!

    Steve
reply by Pam (respa) on 12-Dec-2015
    You are very welcome for the review and stars. I really liked the poem.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I enjoyed reading this, Steve, for its flawless meter and rhyme. I hope you win the competition because it was better than reading the example given! Giddy

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thanks, Giddy. I don't think this form was invented for telling stories, but it works well, doesn't it.

    You may have hit the wrong button with your star rating - this is showing as ONE star....

    Steve
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A good alouette with an old time romantic story of the lovers that must flee from the father of the girl. The lovers get married and live happily ever after.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thanks, Sandra. I do like to let my romantic side out for a play occasionally.

    Steve
Comment from amahra
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

First, I must say the art work you chose for this writing is awesome. It look as though you saw the art and interpret it. I really loved the poem for the story it told and for the fact that is was well crafted.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thank you.

    No, the poem came first and then I searched for the image.

    Steve
reply by amahra on 11-Dec-2015
    Wow, you were fortunate to find an art image that really fit the writing. But, look even if it were the other way around, it's also takes great skill to interpreting art through language. It's not easy. I still would have admired you for that skill also.
reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    It was easy in this case - I knew my story had some similarities to Sir Walter Scott's great poem 'Young Lochinvar' so I just googled that!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I have no 6 left Steve but this certainly deserves one. This is perfectly contructed and tells a good story, yet cleverly manages to put the emphasis on the third syllable of each line throughout this long piece. This was the preferred form for the contest. Great display. Good luck in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Dorothy, thanks for the kind words and the virtual six.

    Steve
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
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Oh I love romance in any style, be it fairy tale, fantasy or action adventure romance just like what you shared in this poem. The picture also complements well the message of your poem and amplified your point. Truly an excellent write. All the best.

 Comment Written 11-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thank you - got to let my romantic side out for a play every now and then!

    Steve
Comment from writeapoem
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is a delightful story put together nicely in rhyme. it flowed like the gallop of a horserace. i enjoyed the tale as well my gret Uncle rode into the sunset with his bride in 1890.

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Thanks for the kind words.

    Now I want to know what happened to your great uncle after he rode into the unset!

    Steve
Comment from lightink
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great story that evokes medieval times and romantic feelings that defy class and law! It holds the attention from the first line to the last one. The flow and the rhythm are amazing - they are very musical, as this form demands it!
My favorite lines are:
"And his hoof-beats pound
On the stony ground,
A match to my heart's mad race."
Beautiful story! Good luck at the contest!

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2015


reply by the author on 11-Dec-2015
    Jyoti, thanks for the great review.

    Not sure this is hat an Alouette is supposed to be like, but it certainly works well as a means of telling a story!

    Steve