Mother Mine
Christmas story-through the eyes of a child23 total reviews
Comment from sibhus
The inner thoughts and the dialogue of Sam sounded very realistic. I could actually hear and feel what the boy was saying. The fears and the worry came out very well. good descriptions as well that gave this a good flow, making it a good read. The only thing, I find exception to is giving the kid a puppy for Christmas. I know it's a story, but anything that encourages this terrible practice, I have to mention. Still it was a well written piece that makes for a good entry to the contest. Good luck.
  |
The inner thoughts and the dialogue of Sam sounded very realistic. I could actually hear and feel what the boy was saying. The fears and the worry came out very well. good descriptions as well that gave this a good flow, making it a good read. The only thing, I find exception to is giving the kid a puppy for Christmas. I know it's a story, but anything that encourages this terrible practice, I have to mention. Still it was a well written piece that makes for a good entry to the contest. Good luck.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
Comment from Ulla
This is just such a heart warming, sentimental Christmas story, just as they used to be. What a brave little fellow. Brought a tear to my eye. Very well written, and good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla
 |
This is just such a heart warming, sentimental Christmas story, just as they used to be. What a brave little fellow. Brought a tear to my eye. Very well written, and good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
Comment from Eric1
Oh Dawn, what a wonderful story, it brought a tear to my eye, the most beautiful story with the best ending I have ever read, Your characters were all very believable as was the dialogue.
I was expecting all sorts of terrible things when Scout met his Dad in the office, but thank goodness you gave it a fantastic ending, God bless and have a very Merry Christmas my friend.
|
Oh Dawn, what a wonderful story, it brought a tear to my eye, the most beautiful story with the best ending I have ever read, Your characters were all very believable as was the dialogue.
I was expecting all sorts of terrible things when Scout met his Dad in the office, but thank goodness you gave it a fantastic ending, God bless and have a very Merry Christmas my friend.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2015
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Dawn,
well from now on I'm going to rate and judge a Christmas story by how many tears it brings into the reading of.
I just enjoyed reading this beautifully written Christmas story and yes, thank God it had a happy ending... love those happy endings to a story full of if's and maybes and well... none better than a rampant-licking puppy to put the smile back onto a concerned face.
It was so magically brought to life through the eyes of Sam... kudos my dear talented friend and wordsmith... all the very best in this contest... this has to be a true contender!
With our thoughts we create,
the power of positive energy,
James vx's.
|
Hi Dawn,
well from now on I'm going to rate and judge a Christmas story by how many tears it brings into the reading of.
I just enjoyed reading this beautifully written Christmas story and yes, thank God it had a happy ending... love those happy endings to a story full of if's and maybes and well... none better than a rampant-licking puppy to put the smile back onto a concerned face.
It was so magically brought to life through the eyes of Sam... kudos my dear talented friend and wordsmith... all the very best in this contest... this has to be a true contender!
With our thoughts we create,
the power of positive energy,
James vx's.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from barbara.wilkey
AHHHH, this is a wonderful Christmas contest entry. I love it. I wish you the best of luck.
If Mom dies he's going to need a big brother who doesn't get mad at him all the time. (comma after dies)
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
|
AHHHH, this is a wonderful Christmas contest entry. I love it. I wish you the best of luck.
If Mom dies he's going to need a big brother who doesn't get mad at him all the time. (comma after dies)
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
Oh, thanks! What a great catch, too! :0))
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting and thought-provoking post that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a lovely Christmas story and very apt and fitting for this time of year. Merry Christmas.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
|
This is an interesting and thought-provoking post that the author has created with this piece of writing. This is a lovely Christmas story and very apt and fitting for this time of year. Merry Christmas.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
Merry Christmas to you, and thank you for your kind review.
-
Take care.
Comment from jpduck
This is astonishingly good -- and I haven't got a six-star left. That hurts.
I began reading this thinking that Sam was a nine-year-old, wise and philosophical beyond his years. But then I remembered that, in my teaching days, I had met a few (not more than two or three) nine-year-olds who were thus. I loved the concept of Sam being an old soul.
I think you only stepped across the line of credibilty once -- 'The sacred man-cave where Dad works'. I feel this can only be an adult comment.
Thank you for sharing such beauty with us.
Adrian
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
|
This is astonishingly good -- and I haven't got a six-star left. That hurts.
I began reading this thinking that Sam was a nine-year-old, wise and philosophical beyond his years. But then I remembered that, in my teaching days, I had met a few (not more than two or three) nine-year-olds who were thus. I loved the concept of Sam being an old soul.
I think you only stepped across the line of credibilty once -- 'The sacred man-cave where Dad works'. I feel this can only be an adult comment.
Thank you for sharing such beauty with us.
Adrian
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
Oh - good point. I was thinking because it was 'man'-cave that it would be assumed he heard his mother saying that very thing, but maybe it's too subtle. Thank you.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is such a touching, hear-warming
story, Dawn - so beautifully told,
making me quite tearful.
So lovely - thank you for sharing it with us.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
|
This is such a touching, hear-warming
story, Dawn - so beautifully told,
making me quite tearful.
So lovely - thank you for sharing it with us.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Dawn,
This is a very effective heart warming festive tale. The voice in the piece is authentic and believable. Well written and engaging.
Tied up nice and neat with a happy ending to boot, but thankfully not overly sentimental or overly religious either.
Great work
G
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
|
Hi Dawn,
This is a very effective heart warming festive tale. The voice in the piece is authentic and believable. Well written and engaging.
Tied up nice and neat with a happy ending to boot, but thankfully not overly sentimental or overly religious either.
Great work
G
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
Thanks so much! I'm so glad you thought it authentic and heartwarming, Gareth!
Comment from Dean Kuch
This is such a well written, truly touching Christmas story, Dawn.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Hallmark Channel or not, but they have a month's worth of television Christmas shows a lot like this. They get me all teary-eyed every year. What kid doesn't want a puppy of their own, something they can love and care for and be loved by him or her in return?
I especially liked how Scout's father and now cancer-free mom tested the boy to see if he would be responsible enough to be able to care for his new friend. I thought that was very clever. Of course I'm sure anyone who read the story closely soon realized that Mr. Montgomery wasn't having his son go to his office downtown to tell him that his mother was ill. I knew before the end that it was something more than merely that. I had no idea it was going to involve a puppy however.
The writing was flawless--error free--which made reading it even more delightful.
A powerful, poignant entry for the Christmas Story contest. Best of luck!
~Dean :)
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
|
This is such a well written, truly touching Christmas story, Dawn.
I'm not sure if you're familiar with the Hallmark Channel or not, but they have a month's worth of television Christmas shows a lot like this. They get me all teary-eyed every year. What kid doesn't want a puppy of their own, something they can love and care for and be loved by him or her in return?
I especially liked how Scout's father and now cancer-free mom tested the boy to see if he would be responsible enough to be able to care for his new friend. I thought that was very clever. Of course I'm sure anyone who read the story closely soon realized that Mr. Montgomery wasn't having his son go to his office downtown to tell him that his mother was ill. I knew before the end that it was something more than merely that. I had no idea it was going to involve a puppy however.
The writing was flawless--error free--which made reading it even more delightful.
A powerful, poignant entry for the Christmas Story contest. Best of luck!
~Dean :)
Comment Written 05-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2015
-
I don't think you could say anything to warm my heart better than mentioning the Hallmark Channel - I LOVE those stories! (And Disney, of course - who doesn't? LOL) I am absolutely delighted! Thank you very much, my friend. :)
-
You're more than welcome, Dawn. It was my pleasure.
~Dean :)
