<3 " thoughtscapes" by Noni <3
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Memories"A book of poetry, quotes and short stories
11 total reviews
Comment from robina1978
Lovely artwork that complements your poem perfectly. It is like a diary poem. You wrote about the past and the present. From raising your family to Thanks giving with all. You jus have a pup and a kitten now.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Lovely artwork that complements your poem perfectly. It is like a diary poem. You wrote about the past and the present. From raising your family to Thanks giving with all. You jus have a pup and a kitten now.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your kind words and review, Happy holidays :)
Comment from royowen
As it is written time and tide wait for no man (or woman) and certainly not for your or me. Beautifully written prose/poem, in the grateful celebration days gone by. I enjoyed reading the nostalgia you shared, but hope always remains, and while you have that, life can still be good! Well writren, articulate and descriptively and well presented, well done, Blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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As it is written time and tide wait for no man (or woman) and certainly not for your or me. Beautifully written prose/poem, in the grateful celebration days gone by. I enjoyed reading the nostalgia you shared, but hope always remains, and while you have that, life can still be good! Well writren, articulate and descriptively and well presented, well done, Blessings, Roy
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Roy, Thank you for your kind words and wonderful review...Happy Holidays :)
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Most welcome
Comment from The Mom/DarleneThomson
Annie,
The basics of your story are good, but there are a few sentences that draw your reader up quickly such as My thoughts drift of happier times with the holidays so near, should be off to. This sentence Nothing is as it was though, I realized it would someday change. I do thank God for those wonderful days but the holidays aren't as happy, the times I once knew will never again be the same. This is too long and repetitive. I would rewrite this one. Possibly Nothing is as it was. I realized it would someday change.
I thank God for those wonderful years. The times I once knew will never again be the same. These are just my thoughts and opinions. As a reader, I can tell you this sentences jerked me and caused me to stop and start.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Annie,
The basics of your story are good, but there are a few sentences that draw your reader up quickly such as My thoughts drift of happier times with the holidays so near, should be off to. This sentence Nothing is as it was though, I realized it would someday change. I do thank God for those wonderful days but the holidays aren't as happy, the times I once knew will never again be the same. This is too long and repetitive. I would rewrite this one. Possibly Nothing is as it was. I realized it would someday change.
I thank God for those wonderful years. The times I once knew will never again be the same. These are just my thoughts and opinions. As a reader, I can tell you this sentences jerked me and caused me to stop and start.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your review, I was kinda stumped there for a bit myself, so I appreciate your feedback. Have a wonderful holiday
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Annie,
I am thankful you took my review in the manner it was meant. Please send me a message if you corrected it and I will be happy to change my review. I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.
Blessings,
Darlene
Comment from krys123
AnnieGale;
-your piece of poetry prose is a testimony of your feelings that the past was so much simpler then with aromas and peaceful centerpieces with the family all would gather around as serenity and tranquility bathed everyone.
-your incidental rhyming helped with your rhythmic flow and neither of your rhyming's were forced nor labored but they were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line.
-your rhythmic flow was due to the cadence, timing and tempo which made your reading clear, fluid and easy.
- how you recognized the present that you have with your small animals talk to your side thinking of the past that was in the least that you have always to remember. And someday you look back at this and also remember the tranquility and bliss and feels the same as you did then as you feel now.
- thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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AnnieGale;
-your piece of poetry prose is a testimony of your feelings that the past was so much simpler then with aromas and peaceful centerpieces with the family all would gather around as serenity and tranquility bathed everyone.
-your incidental rhyming helped with your rhythmic flow and neither of your rhyming's were forced nor labored but they were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line.
-your rhythmic flow was due to the cadence, timing and tempo which made your reading clear, fluid and easy.
- how you recognized the present that you have with your small animals talk to your side thinking of the past that was in the least that you have always to remember. And someday you look back at this and also remember the tranquility and bliss and feels the same as you did then as you feel now.
- thank you for sharing and posting and may the good Lord be with you always my friend.
Alex
Comment Written 27-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you Alex, I always enjoy your encouraging words. Hope you holiday was wonderful and you are enjoying this long weekend!
Comment from Joyce Long
Life moves on and is never the same. My family is already having a difficult time with a grandson deployed. But, he will come home. We have said 'good-bye' to so many of our family, but we all struggle to make each holiday very special. I am the great grandma, but my house still is the host house even if I don't do all the cooking.
You did a great job. I share the tears.
Joyce 11-26-15
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Life moves on and is never the same. My family is already having a difficult time with a grandson deployed. But, he will come home. We have said 'good-bye' to so many of our family, but we all struggle to make each holiday very special. I am the great grandma, but my house still is the host house even if I don't do all the cooking.
You did a great job. I share the tears.
Joyce 11-26-15
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for your heartfelt words and review. Things are certainly different but always have more and more memories to make with my grown children and their new families. Time does fly though, just slow down a little bit...Happy holidays
Comment from Bill Schott
It's hard to revision this outpouring of nostalgia in any way that would assist you in writing than to suggest a hint of form to what you have presented as a brief essay. The incidental rhyming could be situated to more suggest a sculptured memoir of the great but gone times. Here's my humble revision without dropping or adding a syllable. Happy day.
Sitting by the firelight, my skin warm and aglow.
Hot mug of chocolate fills my hands,
I'm sitting here alone.
My thoughts drift of happier times
with the holidays so near,
I think back to my naive years
as I wipe away an unexpected tear.
I remember walking through the snowy pines
for a Thanksgiving feast my mom took days to make, remembering the steamy windows
with a smile on my face.
This old brick house where I once grew,
how simple life was then.
These were the good 'ole days, only if I knew.
The smell of fresh baked pies,
turkey and stuffing filled the air,
everyone joyous around a beautifully set table,
I am thankful for everyone being there.
Time stands still for a moment,
I thought those days would never end,
my whole life ahead of me but
anxious to make my own traditions and raise my own family.
My mom with her hair done up upon her head,
her eyes a sparkling blue,
my sisters and I help
with putting the food upon the table
while listening to Christmas music and laughing too.
I miss those times so much I could cry, much has happened, so fast that life goes by.
Nothing is as it was though,
I realized it would someday change.
I do thank God for those wonderful days
but the holidays aren't as happy,
the times I once knew will never again be the same.
I step back to my reality
with my pup and kitty curled next to me
sleeping on the floor,
nothing will ever be again as it was before.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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It's hard to revision this outpouring of nostalgia in any way that would assist you in writing than to suggest a hint of form to what you have presented as a brief essay. The incidental rhyming could be situated to more suggest a sculptured memoir of the great but gone times. Here's my humble revision without dropping or adding a syllable. Happy day.
Sitting by the firelight, my skin warm and aglow.
Hot mug of chocolate fills my hands,
I'm sitting here alone.
My thoughts drift of happier times
with the holidays so near,
I think back to my naive years
as I wipe away an unexpected tear.
I remember walking through the snowy pines
for a Thanksgiving feast my mom took days to make, remembering the steamy windows
with a smile on my face.
This old brick house where I once grew,
how simple life was then.
These were the good 'ole days, only if I knew.
The smell of fresh baked pies,
turkey and stuffing filled the air,
everyone joyous around a beautifully set table,
I am thankful for everyone being there.
Time stands still for a moment,
I thought those days would never end,
my whole life ahead of me but
anxious to make my own traditions and raise my own family.
My mom with her hair done up upon her head,
her eyes a sparkling blue,
my sisters and I help
with putting the food upon the table
while listening to Christmas music and laughing too.
I miss those times so much I could cry, much has happened, so fast that life goes by.
Nothing is as it was though,
I realized it would someday change.
I do thank God for those wonderful days
but the holidays aren't as happy,
the times I once knew will never again be the same.
I step back to my reality
with my pup and kitty curled next to me
sleeping on the floor,
nothing will ever be again as it was before.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your wonderful review and the advice, it certainly is appreciated...I do like that format!! Happy holidays Bill and to your family and loved ones as well :)
Comment from Jacq77
This well written piece evokes a sense of sadness that things are not as they used to be. The memories of how happy past Thanksgivings were for you in the home where you grew up, are now replaced by being alone, with a puppy and cat your only company. Although it sounds very cosy where you are beside the fire, your sense of pain comes through strongly. Unfortunately, we very seldom appreciate the good old days while we are living them. It is only as we look back, that we can see their worth. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and loved the artwork you chose.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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This well written piece evokes a sense of sadness that things are not as they used to be. The memories of how happy past Thanksgivings were for you in the home where you grew up, are now replaced by being alone, with a puppy and cat your only company. Although it sounds very cosy where you are beside the fire, your sense of pain comes through strongly. Unfortunately, we very seldom appreciate the good old days while we are living them. It is only as we look back, that we can see their worth. I thoroughly enjoyed this, and loved the artwork you chose.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your wonderful review and rating, I appreciate it so much. Happy Holidays :)
Comment from PoemsOfDD
AnnieGale, this is a solid write. It allowed the reader to walk down memory lane with you during the thanksgiving season. It is descriptive to allow for the sense of sadness to be felt at the passing of time and the happy days that will never return. This can be said for many chapters in life. Thank you for sharing this reflective piece and happy thanksgiving to you and your family.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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AnnieGale, this is a solid write. It allowed the reader to walk down memory lane with you during the thanksgiving season. It is descriptive to allow for the sense of sadness to be felt at the passing of time and the happy days that will never return. This can be said for many chapters in life. Thank you for sharing this reflective piece and happy thanksgiving to you and your family.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you so much for your kind words and wonderful review. Those certainly were the good 'ole days but now am making new ones with my children and grandchildren.
Comment from Eric1
Hi AnnieGale, you have written a wonderful and very nostalgic piece about past Thanksgivings within the warmth of your family, I too wish for the return of those days but in my case it is Christmas past which I want my friend, thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Hi AnnieGale, you have written a wonderful and very nostalgic piece about past Thanksgivings within the warmth of your family, I too wish for the return of those days but in my case it is Christmas past which I want my friend, thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your wonderful words and kind review. I also have Christmas past memories when my children were young and full of excitement and wonder, now I get to see that through my grandchildren's eyes. Have a wonderful holiday, I wish you the best!Thank you for
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from Pyrrho
An enjoyable read. I suggest the nostalgia be abated a bit by the thought that today will be tomorrow's yesterday will evoke the same felling as you now feel for today's yesterday.
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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An enjoyable read. I suggest the nostalgia be abated a bit by the thought that today will be tomorrow's yesterday will evoke the same felling as you now feel for today's yesterday.
Comment Written 26-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 27-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the wonderful review and kind words. You are so correct that today will certainly bring tomorrow's memories. Have a wonderful holiday
