Haiku (tadpole ponders 'neath)
Haiku contest entry42 total reviews
Comment from royowen
This is a classic entry in this haiku en contest, the thought of a tadpole being made from the substance I made from, just rearranged differently, well this is a good, out of left field, but great blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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This is a classic entry in this haiku en contest, the thought of a tadpole being made from the substance I made from, just rearranged differently, well this is a good, out of left field, but great blessings, Roy
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you Roy for the awesome and detailed review my friend! I really enjoyed crafting this piece.
God bless!
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Well done
Comment from c_lucas
Predictors sail above the peaceful waters. As a child, I use to catch tadpoles and keep them in a jar of water. I never thought about how much disruption I was causing. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Predictors sail above the peaceful waters. As a child, I use to catch tadpoles and keep them in a jar of water. I never thought about how much disruption I was causing. This is well written. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you for the awesome review C_Lucas! I am honored at how well this piece is doing!
God bless!
Comment from mfowler
There's a beautiful original and calming quality about this that's making this a winner in the voting booth. I can easily see why. What a great idea to place the creature in the pool just like the ones you find in Japanese gardens, and it is his still contemplation that captures the writer's attention, as if it's amphibian Zen. Great satori, really makes you go 'Ah!' as this line should. All the best in the run home.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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There's a beautiful original and calming quality about this that's making this a winner in the voting booth. I can easily see why. What a great idea to place the creature in the pool just like the ones you find in Japanese gardens, and it is his still contemplation that captures the writer's attention, as if it's amphibian Zen. Great satori, really makes you go 'Ah!' as this line should. All the best in the run home.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you mfowler for this most detailed, thoughtful review my friend! I have thoroughly enjoyed every response I have received so far.
God bless!
Comment from twinklepoems
Don't know if it matters or not but only counted 6 syllables in the second line (I know you can do 17 or less but some contests insist on 5-7-5). Love the last line, amphibian zen.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Don't know if it matters or not but only counted 6 syllables in the second line (I know you can do 17 or less but some contests insist on 5-7-5). Love the last line, amphibian zen.
Comment Written 24-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you twinklepoems for this excellent and concerned review my friend! I struggled with this very thought, but Rebekka (the contest creator) said less is not a problem.
God bless!
Comment from ProSongwriter
Hi ...
This is so charming. That graphic is absolutely perfect for your poem! There's a certain serenity about this ... the zen reference is perfect! Loved it!
Good luck in the contest ...
Alan
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Hi ...
This is so charming. That graphic is absolutely perfect for your poem! There's a certain serenity about this ... the zen reference is perfect! Loved it!
Good luck in the contest ...
Alan
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you Alan for this most descriptive and excellent review my friend. I really enjoyed crafting this piece.
God bless!
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It was my pleasure!
Comment from LIJ Red
When I was five I carried buckets of water every day to a mud puddle in a farm road.
It was drying up, and full of tadpoles. Looks like sixteen proper syllables and I don't know what to make of a Haiku-zen, but this makes sense to me. Excellent.
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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When I was five I carried buckets of water every day to a mud puddle in a farm road.
It was drying up, and full of tadpoles. Looks like sixteen proper syllables and I don't know what to make of a Haiku-zen, but this makes sense to me. Excellent.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 24-Nov-2015
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Thank you LIJ Red for this most excellent review my friend! When I seen this contest I thought "Zen?" "Really?" LOL! Then I accepted the challenge.
God bless!
Comment from Lena Borghi
Excellent and very clever haiku. I see two grammatically connected lines and two concrete images in juxtaposition. Love the satori line. While "zen" is not truly a concrete image, a creature experiencing "zen" is clearly observable, so to me, it is.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Lena
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Excellent and very clever haiku. I see two grammatically connected lines and two concrete images in juxtaposition. Love the satori line. While "zen" is not truly a concrete image, a creature experiencing "zen" is clearly observable, so to me, it is.
Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Lena
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Thank you Lena for this most detailed, excellent review my friend!
God bless!
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You're most welcome. God bless!
Comment from frogbook
Well you sure knew how to get to me, (Frogbook) ha. This one was a touch of humor and a bright spot in some similar other ideas so, to me stood out, so much from the others. Looks like I wasn't the only one who thought so as u are doing well in the votes as you should!
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Well you sure knew how to get to me, (Frogbook) ha. This one was a touch of humor and a bright spot in some similar other ideas so, to me stood out, so much from the others. Looks like I wasn't the only one who thought so as u are doing well in the votes as you should!
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Right on! I love frogs myself! Thank you for the awesome and entertaining review my friend! I certainly have enjoyed the fun this piece has brought me! Excited that this piece is so well liked!
God bless!
Comment from Jaxpoet
Word count works. form is correct. and the contrast of the last line rocks you a bit and leaves you pondering. Pondering right along with the tadpole.
Thanks for an entertaining write.
Jax
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Word count works. form is correct. and the contrast of the last line rocks you a bit and leaves you pondering. Pondering right along with the tadpole.
Thanks for an entertaining write.
Jax
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Lol! Thank you for the awesome review my friend! Excited that this piece is so well liked!
God bless!
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Appropriate artwork for poem.
-You have the correct format.
-Good first line with the use of "ponders" for the tadpole.
-Good connection with line two.
-Good satori line.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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-Appropriate artwork for poem.
-You have the correct format.
-Good first line with the use of "ponders" for the tadpole.
-Good connection with line two.
-Good satori line.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Thank you respa1 for this most awesome review my friend.
God bless!
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You are very welcome.
