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Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Layman Raymond Mangaleest"These are fictional character sketches.
20 total reviews
Comment from Eric1
Hi Bill, have you suddenly learned to rap lol! loved this brilliant tongue in cheek poem, good AAAB rhyming, great rhythm and a wonderful flow my friend.
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Hi Bill, have you suddenly learned to rap lol! loved this brilliant tongue in cheek poem, good AAAB rhyming, great rhythm and a wonderful flow my friend.
Comment Written 19-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Eric, for reviewing this. I looked at a web site and jotted down a few slang words. It was the shizzle. Bill
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You are welcome my friend.
Comment from Gloria ....
Ha, Bill. This is up to your usual incredibly well metered, rhymed and completely you poetry. I can hardly wait to read the book with all the drawings of these fellas alongside the poems.
Top notch writing as always and in good gangsta vernacular. Totally original and I love it.
Gloria
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Ha, Bill. This is up to your usual incredibly well metered, rhymed and completely you poetry. I can hardly wait to read the book with all the drawings of these fellas alongside the poems.
Top notch writing as always and in good gangsta vernacular. Totally original and I love it.
Gloria
Comment Written 19-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Gloria, for the kind and encouraging review. Bill
Comment from jaho58
Loved this! After I read the author's notes, that is--what an education!
The meter is well paced and lively; sorry about the tragic ending (if true)--at least he is somewhat immortalized!
Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Loved this! After I read the author's notes, that is--what an education!
The meter is well paced and lively; sorry about the tragic ending (if true)--at least he is somewhat immortalized!
Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Thank you, jaho, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Neonewman
I enjoyed this whimsical little, well crafted piece you have delivered here my friend. I found this fun and absolutely entertaining.
God bless!
Steve
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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I enjoyed this whimsical little, well crafted piece you have delivered here my friend. I found this fun and absolutely entertaining.
God bless!
Steve
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Neo, for the excellent review. Bill
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My pleasure Bill!
Comment from Pantygynt
Last time I reviewed you it was the Jersey effect and this time it's gangster rap. Sure signs of a miss-spent youth here. It's great fun but the decimal has gone missing in the poem .9 though it's there in the note.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Last time I reviewed you it was the Jersey effect and this time it's gangster rap. Sure signs of a miss-spent youth here. It's great fun but the decimal has gone missing in the poem .9 though it's there in the note.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you for reviewing this. I eliminated the decimal after hearing a couple of folks read this aloud and saying 'point 9'. I will remove it from the note if it's confusing.
Comment from ericawrites
Thank you for your author notes, without them I would have
been totally lost!
Your poem tells an interesting story,
rhymes well.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you for your author notes, without them I would have
been totally lost!
Your poem tells an interesting story,
rhymes well.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Erica, for the great review. Bill
Comment from Selina Stambi
Hello Bill,
This was a fun piece, though I have to confess the terminology was double Dutch (all Greek!) to me. Thankful for the detailed author notes!
I could picture the poet belting his lines out with dreadlocks and a Rasta shirt. :)
Nicely done. Different. Refreshing.
Sonali
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Hello Bill,
This was a fun piece, though I have to confess the terminology was double Dutch (all Greek!) to me. Thankful for the detailed author notes!
I could picture the poet belting his lines out with dreadlocks and a Rasta shirt. :)
Nicely done. Different. Refreshing.
Sonali
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Sonali, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Irish Goat
nice aaaB quatrain construction and rhyme scheme. No translations or glossary needed, I was with you the entire way. Another success. Well executed, and looking forward to what's next
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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nice aaaB quatrain construction and rhyme scheme. No translations or glossary needed, I was with you the entire way. Another success. Well executed, and looking forward to what's next
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Thank you, IG, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Harold Clapsaddle
Cool play on words, very entertaining and enjoyable to read. I just had to remind myself Rap, rap, Rap tip top tap fingers rappin' hat thinkin' of that. lol :-))
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Cool play on words, very entertaining and enjoyable to read. I just had to remind myself Rap, rap, Rap tip top tap fingers rappin' hat thinkin' of that. lol :-))
Comment Written 17-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Hsrold, for the terrific review. Bill
Comment from Jay Squires
What'd you do, use the slang dictionary to come up with all those delightfully poetic street terms? If you didn't, then you know too much about the hood to make us septegenarians feel comfortable around you.
This is some seriously good stuff, Bill. The movement of your mind amazes me. Do you ever try to get any of this stuff published?
As usual, I squandered my sixes and have none when this is so worthy. Sorry.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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What'd you do, use the slang dictionary to come up with all those delightfully poetic street terms? If you didn't, then you know too much about the hood to make us septegenarians feel comfortable around you.
This is some seriously good stuff, Bill. The movement of your mind amazes me. Do you ever try to get any of this stuff published?
As usual, I squandered my sixes and have none when this is so worthy. Sorry.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Jay, for the fun review. Yes, I definitely looked up some hood terms to put this together, so I'm still a mayo and white bread fan.
