Comment from Green Lake Girl

Excellent

An especially good chapter, Ulla. I really love your story and can totally see myself doing the same thing in your shoes. A very human thing wanting to know your "real mother" and her surrounding story.

I love the romance your mother experienced. You do a wonderful job conveying the emotion between you and your mother as she tells her story. Looking forward to the next chapter!

 Comment Written 19-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2015

Thank you so much. I'm so pleased that you liked it. It's quite a story and soon to follow. All the best. Ulla

Comment from Ben Colder

Excellent

The door of love was open and in walked your mom. A trail many dare to venture. You have made this story interesting. My neighbor is also adopted, but he cares not tho find his bio mother. Is this true?

 Comment Written 18-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015

Hi Ben Colder, If your question is whether this story is true, then yes, it is very true. This is exactly what happened. But if you ask whether others have no interest in finding their origins. I cannot answer you. I only started this journey when I was fifty one back in 2003, when all this takes place, so far. If you'd like to know that journey it is all here in my portfolio. Thanks a lot for your lovely review. All best. Ulla

reply by Ben Colder on 18-Nov-2015

I think it is good in one sense to know answers of why. Being a minister and working with many situations that vex the soul, I totally understand your reasoning and think it is important to you and your health to share it openly. I find it uplifting for you and your children. It also builds a great bond of respect for the adopted parents

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

Your story bring to mind my story of having given up my son for adoption. I wrote a poem about it and here it is

Adoption

I went through the labor,
But never held him in my arms,
As I gave him for adoption,
So others saw his childhood charms.
But it has always been my prayer,
That all these years he did know,
It was because I loved him,
That I had to let him go.
He has a special mother,
To care for him I'm sure,
And the love she has for him,
Is one that will endure.
Though I never held him,
Or saw his boyish smile,
I have always loved him,
And hope to see him in a while.
In a while in Heaven,
Just through the pearly gates,
When we are together,
Where our loving Savior waits.
© Patricia Lawrence
This is my own true testimony

BTW I found that son, met the mother who raised him. She and I became good friends, and this morning I learned that his adoptive mother passed away last night, My heart is breaking for him and his children.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015

This is beautiful and at the same time so sad. I'm of course pleased that you found your son and as an added bonus became a good friend of his adoptive mother. It's sad she just passed away,. My condolences. Thanks for this heartfelt review. All best. Ulla

Comment from alexisleech

Excellent

It can imagine the scene as you waited for your mother to tell you the whole story. It's good that you didn't try and rush her. Having waited so long to know the answers regarding your birth, I'm sure another hour or so wasn't too much to bear!

I've made a few suggestions below to get rid of those pesky 'ing' words, but it read very well and had my eyes glued to the screen from start to finish. I can't wait to read on!

Alexis xxx

She took a deep breath (leaning) and leant slightly towards me.

I managed to sell some lovely creations of mine. But time and fashion were changing, and it was getting hard to make a living from it.

suggest

I managed to sell some lovely creations, but fashions were changing, so making a living became difficult.

I thought (that) I could do that.

Mum smiled (leaning) as she leant back in her chair.

So I just sat back nursing my glass waiting for the story to continue.

suggest

So I just sat back and nursed my glass while I waited for her to continue.

Can't hurry like you're doing in (this kind of) these condition(s). (otherwise it sounds like your mother is in a condition, not the weather)

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Alexis, thank you so much for yet again a great great review and all the help you are providing. First, I am so pleased that you like it. Second,when will I ever learn to get it right. I'm getting better, but I still get it so wrong, and the most frustating thing is that I don't even see it! But believe me I'm trying hard. I wouldn't know what to do without all the help I'm getting.
Hope you're doing OK in France? Ulla xxx

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Oh Ulla, what a romantic way your mother met your father! You must have been so moved to hear that story! Once again your essay is so well-written it compels the reader from start to finish - just beautiful!

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Thank you so much for a great review. It's a great encouragement. All best. Ulla

reply by Dawn Munro on 17-Nov-2015

Oh, I'm glad, Ulla. You're very welcome. :)

Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Ulla,

You handled this chapter very well. The dialogue is well spaced with the narrative rather than one big memory blurb.

being one of coldest - the coldest?

each others nerves - other's

There are several places when speech begins which start with a capital letter.

an 'au pair' today". - punctuation inside the speech marks.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Hi G, thanks a lot and I'm pleased that you like it. I have made the corrections. One of these days I just have to get it right. I'm trying hard though. All best. Ulla

Comment from Erin929

Good

Bravo to you for 1) Having the courage to find your real Mom (Mum) and 2) writing about it. I write fiction for this reason: avoidance!
I think there was YOU missing in this though, you were quiet to hear her story, but there must be at least 3-4 emotions you are feeling (you're female, yes?), parts of your life you reassess, and the idea you had of her before you met her must be changing as you get to know her? I know that's a lot to drop on you, but I think other layers of complexity would draw readers in all the more, as well as help others in similar experiences.

A technical fix: if Mum is quoting Dad, his quotes will be within hers using ' '
so "And that was when I first laid eyes on your father. 'Wow! Young Lady...' His dark eyes sparkled..."

Looking forward to seeing more

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Thank you so much for your review. The 'me' was certainly there which you'd know fro previous chapters. When this is told I had only just found my mother the day before an all I could do was to sit an listen to the story of who my really father was. It was like being a spectator to an overwhelming event. As this is part of a very long tale it is all there and there will be more feelings on display. Thanks a lot again for your kind review. Ulla

Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin

Excellent

Hi, Ulla

_ What a wonderful recollection of your story through Mum's eyes.
_ Had to be difficult for her to go back an relive, but for your sake she did.
_ Your story continues to get better. (*<*)
_ Nice work, my friend.

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jacqueline // Jackie // Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Thank you so much, Jax. I'm so glad that you like it. More to follow soon. All best. Ulla

Comment from nomi338

Excellent

This story makes me regret that I did not talk to my parents very much. Now that both of my parents are deceased, I am learning things about them that they themselves could have and may very well have shared with me, if I had only asked. I talk to my children so much that they have grown tired of hearing I fear. I just don't want my life to be a mystery to them.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 18-Nov-2015

Oh thank you so much for your lovely review. I'm sure your children will appriciate you talking to them. I think it's lovely. All the best. Ulla

Comment from LadyD1

Excellent

I really enjoy the ease off your writing style the way you incorporate fact, expression and movement. I can feel the warmth and intimacy between yourself and your mother.
Mum smiled leaning back in her chair. "That's exactly right. And that brings us back to where I started."
You have made real something that many people dream off but fear making the dream a reality. You are fortunate not all people are welcomed or conceived with such love. Good luck in the contest. The finished product will make an enlightened read.

 Comment Written 16-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Thank you so much for your review. This is not a contest entry but part of a long tale of a very important part of my like.
I hope you don't mind me asking, but as you have given me four stars what errors have you found or what changes do you suggest? Just curious. Thanks again. Ulla

reply by LadyD1 on 17-Nov-2015

This should have been a 5 star rating

reply by the author on 17-Nov-2015

Hi LadyD1, Thanks a lot for that. If you go into comments in your account you can actually change that. I know it happens to all of us that we hit the wrong button. Thanks a lot for coming back. All best. Ulla