Comment from Delahay

Excellent

You used a good bit of poetic license with this one. The spelling you used really fits the subject matter and is worth the extra effort it takes to read.

 Comment Written 11-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Nov-2015

Thank you, Delahay, for the excellent review. Bill

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

I'll bet it mattahed to Fu Man
stealin ice is bettah
than being laid on it
This a very well written fun poem, my friend
unusual crafty rhymes
and great alliteration
Some days Fu Man Chusoletto Kahn
and some days Fu Man Kahn't
I guess he should have slept late that mahn
He might still be comen gahn
Well dohn

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, rspoet, for the excellent review in the vernacular. Bill

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

I think this might be a Bronx accent or whatevva. I have to admit, you stumped me at fahn and gahn until I began to roll with the flow. How did you think of that name? I kept thinking Fu Man Chu from the Sax Rhomer pulps meets Gengis Khan. Keep those alarms hot!

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, Ed, for giving this a look and for the kind review. Bill

Comment from Pantygynt

Excellent

I am not an expert on North American accents, but am I correct in thinking there are echoes of the Bronx in here? I seem to remember a New YOrk cabby express himself in similar accents in some movie or other. Wherever, it is great fun.

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you for reviewing this. Yes, I was going for the Jersey effect. Bill

Comment from Word Doctor Carson Volk

Excellent

Interesting piece, to say the least. I love the accented language you use, it gives a certain air to the thief. You did a phenomenal job giving the character life within the short three stanzas. Great work!
Thank you for sharing,Bill. It was delightful to read.

Have a wonderful day!
With gratitude and respect,
Your friend and colleague,
Word Doctor Carson Volk

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, Doctor, for giving this a look and the kind review. Bill

Comment from Dorothy Farrell

Excellent

Hi Bill - a great name you gave this man. I had to read this real slow, but I enjoyed your poem. It is amusing but I had to re-read as I wondered why it did not matter that he got shot in the chest. I was sorry for him LOL. Warm regards Dorothy x

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, Dorothy, for the excellent review. Bill

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

Very difficult to read. Would've like to have heard it. It's more of live recital kind of writing. It has a definite flavor. Very original. Thanks for sharing. Les

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, Les, for the excellent review. Bill

Comment from MacMhuirich

Excellent

Nicely done, took a bit of getting my Scottish tongue round but I got there. I suppose he got what he deserved by stealing. Thank you for sharing your wonderful poem but next time could we have a translation in the notes.
Bless you
John

 Comment Written 10-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, John, for the excellent review. Bill

Voila!

Fu Man Chusoletto Kahn
Was stealthy as a spotted fawn
No one heard him coming and going
Spooky like the Shadow

Did some second story heists
Pitter patted like the mice
Emptied safes of dough and ice (diamonds)
Then scurried down a ladder

Then on one day he got caught
In a house what's alarm was hot (on)
In his chest he took a shot
and then it didn't matter

Comment from Irish Goat

Excellent

Nice dialectal rhyme scheme evocative of Bauston or New Yawk in da roaring' twenties. Good choice of words and scenes that corresponding with your piece. Nicely done. An enjoyable read

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Nov-2015

Thank you, Chris, for the excellent review. Bill

Comment from Zue65

Excellent

This is of course a fun poem to read that children would like. The sound is like a nonsense poem where words were spelled to sound funny. This is the first time I have encountered such a poem. I just hope author's notes were provided so the readers may be enlightened more. God bless.

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2015

Thank you, Nassus, for the excellent review. Bill