Drinking Problem -- The Book
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Golden Gardens"Alcohol destroys life long friendhip
15 total reviews
Comment from Nosha17
Interesting crime story. Well described setting and characters. Good dialogue and good unravelling of the crime. Most enjoyable. faye
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Interesting crime story. Well described setting and characters. Good dialogue and good unravelling of the crime. Most enjoyable. faye
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Stay tuned. So much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from judiverse
Love the comments by the boys who discovered the body. They sound so natural, and I think all youngsters are born to be able to handle a TV interview. Poor Professor. He may be in trouble, as he is known by Gail Stevenson and they had a disagreement over her grade. She seems to be a person who wants to have things her way. She is, in the Professor's words, too familiar when she calls him "Robert." Curious to know how his purchase of the DVD's for Jonathan will figure in. Did he or didn't Robert commit the crime? In second paragraph, you might rework some sentences so that they don't all begin with "he." judi
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Love the comments by the boys who discovered the body. They sound so natural, and I think all youngsters are born to be able to handle a TV interview. Poor Professor. He may be in trouble, as he is known by Gail Stevenson and they had a disagreement over her grade. She seems to be a person who wants to have things her way. She is, in the Professor's words, too familiar when she calls him "Robert." Curious to know how his purchase of the DVD's for Jonathan will figure in. Did he or didn't Robert commit the crime? In second paragraph, you might rework some sentences so that they don't all begin with "he." judi
Comment Written 04-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Stay tuned. So much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
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You're quite welcome. Happy trails. judi
Comment from royowen
Poor Professor Dungston, the thought that Gail Stephenson had been murdered will probably haunt Dungston, seeing he was one of the last people to talk with Gail before she was brutally murdered and sexually assaulted , not a pleasant way to die. Well done Brett I wonder why Jonathon will be pleased? Good start to a murder/mystery, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Poor Professor Dungston, the thought that Gail Stephenson had been murdered will probably haunt Dungston, seeing he was one of the last people to talk with Gail before she was brutally murdered and sexually assaulted , not a pleasant way to die. Well done Brett I wonder why Jonathon will be pleased? Good start to a murder/mystery, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Jonathan will be pleased because he got the DVD he was wanting. Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Your comments and support appreciated.
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most welcome Brett
Comment from Kassa-Leigh
This story was very well written. I enjoyed the way you made the little boys sound just like little boys. The wording used for them was right on target with what a young boy, who has just discovered a body, would say. Good work! I intend to look up your other works!
Cheryl-Lynette Gilmore
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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This story was very well written. I enjoyed the way you made the little boys sound just like little boys. The wording used for them was right on target with what a young boy, who has just discovered a body, would say. Good work! I intend to look up your other works!
Cheryl-Lynette Gilmore
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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Thanks.
Comment from GE Parson
Well you kept my interest through out. Be interesting who you e going to have kill her and rape her.
_______xxx__________
Here's another jok'n Jerry's original plegerizing.
Talking to an old man in Wal-Mart this past week and we
talked about our ages. I told him am pushing 76 this year and feel every year of it with aches and pains and living on pills.
"Well young man, I have got 15 years on you, I'm 90 yrs old
&feel like a new born baby (Pause)- no hair, no teeth &
I just wet my pants.!"
**********************
Two old men were talking about various health issues,
The subject led to memory.
Said one to the other, "I'm getting so forgetful I forget
To zip up my pants after I take a whiz."
Said the other to the first "That's not so bad. I sometimes forget to unzip my pants BEFORE I whiz!
******************************
Miscommunication problems in an Old Folks Home
A couple of old men were playing the game of hose shoes, and one of the horse shoes took a weird tumble and hit a gopher mound which caused it to fly upward and hit an old man in the head, producing a big bloody gash.
It knocked him down but not out. He began shouting
"CALL ME A DOCTOR SOMEONE! CALL ME A DOCTOR!!
And every one standing around looking at him, all in unison shouted: "YOU'RE A DOCTOR"
A little ol lady ask: Why did he want us to call him
Doctor? What he really needs is an ambulance.
*************************
A husband and wife, living in the Old Folks
Village decided to go riding on a bicycle built for two, you know a bicycle designed with two sets of pedals, two sets of handle bars and two seats.
As they rode around the neighborhood one of them suggested
They ride a little ways out in the country. And they were not working too hard, but then a serious hill popped up in front of them.
"C'mon Tootsie" encouraged the husband to his wife. "We can make it! Pedal harder ! Just a few more yards and we will reach the top."
And they did! As they rested, Husband said to wife "That was a steep hill, but we made it!"
"Yes it was, and we might have rolled back down if I hadn't kept the breaks on."
************************
"Now Dear" cautioned his 79 year old wife, "Be very careful,there are a lot of crazy drivers out on the Interstate"
A few minutes later she heard on the radio that there was
car being driven on the wrong side of the Internet that
had just barely missed three head-on collisions.
She remembered her 82 year old husband was going to be driving on the Internet, so she called him on his mobile phone.
"Dear I just heard on the radio that some crazy driver is driving on the wrong side of the road, so be very alert."
Husband replied, "Not just one crazy driver but a lot of them are driving the wrong direction. I was almost hit by three of them."
************************
And then there was this family named Spuds, who had three
Old maid daughters. They were old maids because Mom & Dad Spud would not approve of any of their suitors.
Then one day a very unusual thing happened. The three daughters attended a community social and met three bachelors just their age. They all fell in love at first sight, and were proposed to, and made plans for marriage.
When each daughter informed their parents, they were very happy for them, and of course wanted their names. The oldest daughter said her future husband's name was Jim Russet.
"Oh that's a good man to marry" said Dad Spud "He comes from a long line of quality potatoes"
The next daughter said the name of her future husband was
Was John Idaho. "Oh bless you daughter! The Idaho family has been a very prominent name in the potato business for over a hundred years or more." gushed Mom Spud.
"And what is your last name going to be?" Dad Spud ask the third daughter.
And with a gleam in her eyes and big smile, purred "I'm going be know as Mrs. Carl Rove!"
"Carl Rove!" shouted Dad and Mom Spud together "Oh no,
You cannot marry him. He's just..... a common tator."
original plagering by Jok'n Jerry
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
|
Well you kept my interest through out. Be interesting who you e going to have kill her and rape her.
_______xxx__________
Here's another jok'n Jerry's original plegerizing.
Talking to an old man in Wal-Mart this past week and we
talked about our ages. I told him am pushing 76 this year and feel every year of it with aches and pains and living on pills.
"Well young man, I have got 15 years on you, I'm 90 yrs old
&feel like a new born baby (Pause)- no hair, no teeth &
I just wet my pants.!"
**********************
Two old men were talking about various health issues,
The subject led to memory.
Said one to the other, "I'm getting so forgetful I forget
To zip up my pants after I take a whiz."
Said the other to the first "That's not so bad. I sometimes forget to unzip my pants BEFORE I whiz!
******************************
Miscommunication problems in an Old Folks Home
A couple of old men were playing the game of hose shoes, and one of the horse shoes took a weird tumble and hit a gopher mound which caused it to fly upward and hit an old man in the head, producing a big bloody gash.
It knocked him down but not out. He began shouting
"CALL ME A DOCTOR SOMEONE! CALL ME A DOCTOR!!
And every one standing around looking at him, all in unison shouted: "YOU'RE A DOCTOR"
A little ol lady ask: Why did he want us to call him
Doctor? What he really needs is an ambulance.
*************************
A husband and wife, living in the Old Folks
Village decided to go riding on a bicycle built for two, you know a bicycle designed with two sets of pedals, two sets of handle bars and two seats.
As they rode around the neighborhood one of them suggested
They ride a little ways out in the country. And they were not working too hard, but then a serious hill popped up in front of them.
"C'mon Tootsie" encouraged the husband to his wife. "We can make it! Pedal harder ! Just a few more yards and we will reach the top."
And they did! As they rested, Husband said to wife "That was a steep hill, but we made it!"
"Yes it was, and we might have rolled back down if I hadn't kept the breaks on."
************************
"Now Dear" cautioned his 79 year old wife, "Be very careful,there are a lot of crazy drivers out on the Interstate"
A few minutes later she heard on the radio that there was
car being driven on the wrong side of the Internet that
had just barely missed three head-on collisions.
She remembered her 82 year old husband was going to be driving on the Internet, so she called him on his mobile phone.
"Dear I just heard on the radio that some crazy driver is driving on the wrong side of the road, so be very alert."
Husband replied, "Not just one crazy driver but a lot of them are driving the wrong direction. I was almost hit by three of them."
************************
And then there was this family named Spuds, who had three
Old maid daughters. They were old maids because Mom & Dad Spud would not approve of any of their suitors.
Then one day a very unusual thing happened. The three daughters attended a community social and met three bachelors just their age. They all fell in love at first sight, and were proposed to, and made plans for marriage.
When each daughter informed their parents, they were very happy for them, and of course wanted their names. The oldest daughter said her future husband's name was Jim Russet.
"Oh that's a good man to marry" said Dad Spud "He comes from a long line of quality potatoes"
The next daughter said the name of her future husband was
Was John Idaho. "Oh bless you daughter! The Idaho family has been a very prominent name in the potato business for over a hundred years or more." gushed Mom Spud.
"And what is your last name going to be?" Dad Spud ask the third daughter.
And with a gleam in her eyes and big smile, purred "I'm going be know as Mrs. Carl Rove!"
"Carl Rove!" shouted Dad and Mom Spud together "Oh no,
You cannot marry him. He's just..... a common tator."
original plagering by Jok'n Jerry
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
-
Thanks.
Comment from Teri7
This was another very good chapter you have penned. It was full of great imagery and very good dialog. It was a joy to read and to review. Hugs, Teri
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
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This was another very good chapter you have penned. It was full of great imagery and very good dialog. It was a joy to read and to review. Hugs, Teri
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 03-Nov-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from Linda Engel
What I like about you, Brent is you give your reader just enough information to grab their interest and hold them. I like the way you ventured back and forth from news, to class trip, to news and then the twist, murder, and back to the news. Did he or didn't he? Professor had no motive, as seen, but did any of the other students? Or do you have an unseen character lurching in the bushes that we haven't seen yet?
This will be an awesome story.
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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What I like about you, Brent is you give your reader just enough information to grab their interest and hold them. I like the way you ventured back and forth from news, to class trip, to news and then the twist, murder, and back to the news. Did he or didn't he? Professor had no motive, as seen, but did any of the other students? Or do you have an unseen character lurching in the bushes that we haven't seen yet?
This will be an awesome story.
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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Stay tuned. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from doggymad
I enjoyed the insight into the personalities of the main characters in this chapter. Although in Gail's case would she now have more of a 'bit part.' Sorry that was mean
Two stubborn individuals and a dead body, food for thought
hugs
Freda
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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I enjoyed the insight into the personalities of the main characters in this chapter. Although in Gail's case would she now have more of a 'bit part.' Sorry that was mean
Two stubborn individuals and a dead body, food for thought
hugs
Freda
Comment Written 02-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
-
Glad you enjoyed this little tale.
Comment from barkingdog
You gave us a little taste of Gail's interaction with the Professor over her 'B' grade and had him hear via the news that her body had been discovered by some boys on the beach.
Now, did he do it? If not, who had a motive or was it a serial killer and she just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time?
I'm enjoying the mystery that builds here.
I appreciated your bit of dark humor about fricasseeing her on the grill. lol
:) e
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
|
You gave us a little taste of Gail's interaction with the Professor over her 'B' grade and had him hear via the news that her body had been discovered by some boys on the beach.
Now, did he do it? If not, who had a motive or was it a serial killer and she just happened to be at the wrong place at the right time?
I'm enjoying the mystery that builds here.
I appreciated your bit of dark humor about fricasseeing her on the grill. lol
:) e
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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Most readers enjoyed my little comment about fricasseeing Gail Stevenson. Wonder how tasty she would have been?
Now, who dunnit? Good question.
Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Your comments and support appreciated.
Comment from MizKat
Hi Brett,
This is a really great chapter that you added to your story. Now I'm wondering if we'll learn who killed the girl. I forgot her name already. Such is my forgetful brain. I look forward to reading more of this. It is wonderful!
Kat
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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Hi Brett,
This is a really great chapter that you added to your story. Now I'm wondering if we'll learn who killed the girl. I forgot her name already. Such is my forgetful brain. I look forward to reading more of this. It is wonderful!
Kat
Comment Written 01-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 02-Nov-2015
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Glad you enjoyed this little tale. Stay tuned. Much more to come. Your comments and support appreciated.
-
I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter of your book. It's really good. Kat
