Reviews from

A Tufted Bed

First chapter in the book, Shifting Shadows...

111 total reviews 
Comment from krys123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Dean;
-What a horrific thought, literally, To be able be trapped with your thoughts in your own grave.
-Your writings imagery was horrifically expressive and vividly and monstrously descriptive throughout your writing.
-Your writing skills and words were contingent to the meaning and concept of each line therefore making your rhythm to flow smoothly. Also your writing was neither strained nor labored which was also helpful.
-Your rhythmic meter was iambic and your cadence, timing and tempo were all helpful in making your reading clear, fluid and very easy.
-The pictures and layout and format of your writing increased temperature and the atmosphere around your writing which was very relative complimentary to your poem.
-Thank you so much for sharing and posting this in the Lord be with you always.
Alex

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thanks as always for the indepth review and outstanding feedback, Alex.
    I certainly appreciate it.
    ~Dean
reply by krys123 on 26-Oct-2015
    You are so very welcome Dean.
    Alex
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I bet Halloween is your favorite season to write about. LOL I really enjoyed reading this. I'm sure your multi-author book is doing coming right along. I've seen many entries for it.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thanks, Barabara. The book seems to be holding its own thus far.
    I appreciate you taking the time to read and review the prologue. make sure to pay a visit to all the contributions. There are some excellent pieces so far.
    Much appreciated.

    With admiration

    ~Dean
Comment from Lovinia
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Dean

Beautifully written, funny how a dark poem can be beautiful. LOL Outstanding presentation and sound track. Excellent use of poetic techniques such as alliteration, assonance and consonance and enjambment. Smooth rhyme and superb rhythm. I'm desperately trying to find something bad to say ... try as I may, I just can't do it. Awe shucks.

I particularly enjoyed: "Damning secrets the mad reveal.",

"Arcane chants from far off places,
terror whitewashed tiny faces.
Waiting 'til the time draws nigh
to wave their gnarled hands... "goodbye."

"I'll rest my pen until the morrow,
whilst these thoughts of pain and sorrow
slumber deep inside my head,
wrapped warm within a tufted bed."

A great multi-author book. I'm sure it will win fast. Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thanks for reading and reviewing, Lovi. As always, your feedback is very important to me.
    Thanks again!
    Hugs!
    ~Dean :}
reply by Lovinia on 26-Oct-2015
    My pleasure. L xoxo

reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
     photo 1752289_small_checkboard1_zpsbrczrkip.jpg
reply by Lovinia on 26-Oct-2015
    Well, you sure know your way to a girl's heart ... if I had one that is. :))) xoxox
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    That makes us even, Lovi. My was torn out long ago, heh-heh...
reply by Lovinia on 26-Oct-2015
    I thought we had a lot in common. :))

    btw I've a half written dark poem and a half written Tiny Tale of Terror. Are we supposed to pass them by you before we add to a chapter in your books? Does the image need to be really gory? I chose one that is subtly scary in context of the poem... is that really in the flavour of the books? Mwahaaa ... oh ... I scared myself. hehehe!
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    No, not at all, Lovi. If it falls within the guidelines, i.e., Tiny Tales of Terror are prose--not poetry (that's what Shifting Shadows was created for), and micro fiction (meaning 100 words or less), or flash fiction (500 words or less), and the poetry is dark (self explanatory), then I say the more the merrier. No need to run them by me in any way. Both books are intended as an outlet to post those thoughts we have of a much darker nature, and to convey our nightmares in story form while hopefully scaring the bejeezus outta people, heh-heh.

    I say post away, and the Devil may care!

    ~Dean :}
reply by Lovinia on 27-Oct-2015
    LOL Well ... the Devil MADE me do it!! mwahahaha!
    unless I was off with the green fairies when I started writing them.... or purple brownies ... hanging out with Mikey and Cat ... reading your work ... I guess so many have had a hand in my demise ... hehehhe!


    My mother warned me .... but did I listen? L xoxoxo
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
    Do we ever listen to our parents good advice, Lovi? Oh well...they mean well, I'm sure, heh-heh... ;}
reply by Lovinia on 27-Oct-2015
    Yeah ... sure they mean well ... for them. My mother never listens to my good advice ... so we're even. hehehe! :)))
Comment from Bill Schott
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This poem is thoughtful and thought-provoking as we think of all that we don't know and will never know of those who slipped away without revealing to us their hearts. I think of all the questions that come to me now about my folks that could have been easily answered in life. Stirring audio as well as stabbing words.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Thank you, Bill. I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the overall presentation as well as the word used in the poetry itself.
    For me, writing dark poetry is very liberating, Bill--a cleansing of the soul, if you will. I'd rather write about it, the critics be damned, and take my chances rather than let it fester and well up inside of me. Now THAT would be dangerous.
    Thanks so much for the six stars, and for sharing your thoughts with me about the poem. I deeply appreciate it.

    Always with respect

    ~Dean
Comment from Leineco
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I must admit - I'm torn on the conceptual message (beautifully penned) here. As a writer, I understand the importance of acknowledging both our inner demons and better angels - unlocking the cells where we have stored them.

But as a person... the thought of allowing the evidence to be recorded terrifies me (maybe that's why my poetry sometimes lacks that "stepped off the cliff" impact). Not only do I want them caged (the demons anyway) - I want the doors iron welded and triple locked. A metaphorical seepage seems to be my current "allowance". Which is not to say I don't occasionally release the pressure valve - but I will admit it's more like blowing off steam than spewing pyroclastic ash and lava.

I think this project "Dark Poetry" could be extremely interesting - I am hoping (assuming, knowing you) that dark will encompass not just physical manifestations but psychological darkness as well.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Yes, it will encompass both domains, Lorraine.

    As for dark poetry, I would rather expel my pain, hate, anger and sorrow, i.e., my personal "demons", through writing. To allow them to remain caged--pent up inside of me and festering--is detrimental to my well-being, as it is anyone else's, I feel.

    Just look at Poe and his life. He began drinking heavily because of losing so many women in his life he cared deeply about. While he wrote, he rarely (if ever!) drank. Had he discovered his love for the written word BEFORE he discovered his love for the drink, he might never have developed a problem with alcohol.

    Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me about the piece. I deeply appreciate your time.

    Respectfully

    ~Dean

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a great presentation. I like the artwork, the color scheme, and the rhyme--I always like rhyme. You did a great job with the story and its message. There was great flow to the lines. I never stumbled on anything. I enjoyed the instances of alliteration you used, too.

I see no changes.

Thanks for sharing another of your great thought-provoking poems.

Excellent!

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Thank you, Jan. I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the overall presentation as well as the word used in the poetry itself.
    For me, writing dark poetry is very liberating--a cleansing of the soul, if you will. I'd rather write about it, the critics be damned, and take my chances rather than let it fester and well up inside of me. Now THAT would be dangerous.
    Thanks so much for the six stars, and for sharing your thoughts with me about the poem. I deeply appreciate it.

    Always with respect

    ~Dean
Comment from bhogg
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Dean - I enjoyed your post. It is a little dark, so accomplished what you were looking for I think. Pretty neat to frame with the two pictures and the music, All made for easy reading. Strong words throughout. Well done. Bill

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thank you, Bill. I very much appreciate your positive response and feedback.
    Thanks so much again for taking the time to read and review.

    Always with respect
    ~Dean
Comment from Joan E.
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Thank you for compiling a book of poetry by FanStorians. I admired this first chapter and its dramatic pictures plus your note encouraging us to "record our thoughts". Your rhymed couplets in these quatrains are compelling. I was particularly impressed with the hyperbolic "sharks" and the sound of "chants" along with your use of alliteration. Best wishes with the project- Joan

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
    Well, it was the very least I could do, Joan, seeing as how I'd created an outlet for authors to contribute horror flash and micro fiction to. I though, >Why not, I might as well create an outlet for those who like to compose dark poetry as well.
    I'm pleased to know that you enjoyed the overall presentation as well as the wording used in the poetry itself.
    For me, writing dark poetry is very liberating, Joan--a cleansing of the soul, if you will. I'd rather write about it, the critics be damned, and take my chances rather than let it fester and well up inside of me. Now THAT would be dangerous.
    Thanks so much for the six stars, and for sharing your thoughts with me about the poem. I deeply appreciate it.

    Always with respect

    ~Dean
reply by Joan E. on 28-Oct-2015
    I am glad to learn you find writing dark poetry liberating. Cleanse away--no festering allowed! Hugs- Joan
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Making an old man stop and think, Dean. I know what my last thoughts will be; "Hello, Death. I'm busy. Can you come back tomorrow?" Very good imagery.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thank you,Charliel. I very much appreciate your positive response and feedback.
    Thanks so much again for taking the time to read and review.

    Always with respect
    ~Dean
reply by c_lucas on 26-Oct-2015
    You're welcome, Dean. Charlie
Comment from mvbrooks
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem is reminiscent of the witches in MacBeth and appears set up to read much like a chant. The rhyme scheme is playful and inviting--drawing the reader into the poem. The poem evokes emotion as it attempts to advise the reader.

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thank you, mvbrooks. I very much appreciate your positive response and feedback.
    Thanks so much again for taking the time to read and review.

    Always with respect
    ~Dean