The Wonder
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Yesterday's Excalibur "miscellaneous poems
29 total reviews
Comment from jlsavell
good evening Michael,
well this rain has led me straight to the comp and straight to your work. So I am going to break it down verse by verse,starting with the title.
Yesterday's Excalibur.. meaning the past's magical spell
perhaps the magic of life whether joyful or sad, the powerful sword awarded to life's kingdom. Now whether you meant that or not, it matters not because what is important is what the reader, whether seasoned or new takes from its words.
the first stanza.. great opening
gnarled oak secrets keep
grim reap winter worn
century after next season's come along
history can be stored in the long lived papyrus of nature who in their living state is surrounded by many scenes through seasons of time. If only they could speak, but often they leave many signs.
she is same ol' safe
shade seen sorrow and joy's fickle temperance
treed permanence boards many a guest
Perfect continuance of the theme. Yes, treed permanence boards many a guest. Just as I aforementioned, if long lived surroundings could talk.
nevertheless seeds do out grow horizon sensed
sooner or later vacant signs swing times used tire
where scars on bark mark a boy's aged sojourn
and the poems cohesiveness continues. So just as the boy ages and his journey through life has once been marked by something long lived before or after him. But life is life, and secrets held in natures surrounding soon are vanished when the seed outgrows its horizon, like when life expires.
ancient history now bows back to basically born
home to dreams trusted compass bound
true north by God's guidance sound
this bespeaks of a personal journey of the narrator. His sojourn where God he has found and finds God is the only way to survive in a world gone mad. For God is his true north compass, and as long as he reminds himself the rest of his journey should always be guided by this perfect guide.
remarkable how little has become so much more
the lad inside this man
who strolls the woodgrove of youthful hope found
softer hands rub together rougher surface of so many prayers
their psalms though calloused worship in chorus still...small voices
sing gospel hymns worth measured weight lived in never end
these two stanzas culminating in the arrival of spiritual maturity. Perfection Michael, absolutely and undeniably. Beautifully stated.
such a sweet thing...
dancing with the sting
still alive
Oh death where is your sting? I enjoyed our conversations where we do differ on this subject, but it matters not. You are simply stating your gift of life is not measured by the trialS and tribulations, by the joys and the fears, or by the uncertainties of future and happiness, but weighed as gift of time to continue a personal sojourn with God's true north compass always in the pocket close to his heart, and even if his earthly life was to end in the moment, he knew he tried with a log suffering heart to make it worthwhile and rewarded for a promise he held in his very soul and the deepest chambers of his heart.
Handed the Excalibur.
A good poet, I may say, plays on a many-stringed instrument, sounding more than one note at a time. Your notes rise and fall bringing its full measure to an abrupt but perfect ending, a sharp note that resounds with truth and reverberates with a trait of humanity that should be but is not possessed by all.
With much love and respect, not just for the poet but for the true heart of a gentle man. Jimi
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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good evening Michael,
well this rain has led me straight to the comp and straight to your work. So I am going to break it down verse by verse,starting with the title.
Yesterday's Excalibur.. meaning the past's magical spell
perhaps the magic of life whether joyful or sad, the powerful sword awarded to life's kingdom. Now whether you meant that or not, it matters not because what is important is what the reader, whether seasoned or new takes from its words.
the first stanza.. great opening
gnarled oak secrets keep
grim reap winter worn
century after next season's come along
history can be stored in the long lived papyrus of nature who in their living state is surrounded by many scenes through seasons of time. If only they could speak, but often they leave many signs.
she is same ol' safe
shade seen sorrow and joy's fickle temperance
treed permanence boards many a guest
Perfect continuance of the theme. Yes, treed permanence boards many a guest. Just as I aforementioned, if long lived surroundings could talk.
nevertheless seeds do out grow horizon sensed
sooner or later vacant signs swing times used tire
where scars on bark mark a boy's aged sojourn
and the poems cohesiveness continues. So just as the boy ages and his journey through life has once been marked by something long lived before or after him. But life is life, and secrets held in natures surrounding soon are vanished when the seed outgrows its horizon, like when life expires.
ancient history now bows back to basically born
home to dreams trusted compass bound
true north by God's guidance sound
this bespeaks of a personal journey of the narrator. His sojourn where God he has found and finds God is the only way to survive in a world gone mad. For God is his true north compass, and as long as he reminds himself the rest of his journey should always be guided by this perfect guide.
remarkable how little has become so much more
the lad inside this man
who strolls the woodgrove of youthful hope found
softer hands rub together rougher surface of so many prayers
their psalms though calloused worship in chorus still...small voices
sing gospel hymns worth measured weight lived in never end
these two stanzas culminating in the arrival of spiritual maturity. Perfection Michael, absolutely and undeniably. Beautifully stated.
such a sweet thing...
dancing with the sting
still alive
Oh death where is your sting? I enjoyed our conversations where we do differ on this subject, but it matters not. You are simply stating your gift of life is not measured by the trialS and tribulations, by the joys and the fears, or by the uncertainties of future and happiness, but weighed as gift of time to continue a personal sojourn with God's true north compass always in the pocket close to his heart, and even if his earthly life was to end in the moment, he knew he tried with a log suffering heart to make it worthwhile and rewarded for a promise he held in his very soul and the deepest chambers of his heart.
Handed the Excalibur.
A good poet, I may say, plays on a many-stringed instrument, sounding more than one note at a time. Your notes rise and fall bringing its full measure to an abrupt but perfect ending, a sharp note that resounds with truth and reverberates with a trait of humanity that should be but is not possessed by all.
With much love and respect, not just for the poet but for the true heart of a gentle man. Jimi
Comment Written 24-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
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If we believe...than what we believe is true. Crazy right...? yet if you were to look closely at every miracle but one the first, Jesus performed in front of us all, in Holy Bible bookmark forevermore....you will find they happened to and for them measured by what they believed and how much...how tight they held to Truth....was and still is the deciding factor.
if we believe ...then this life is but a moment in eternal concept of time. A moment watched by forces of heavens realm.
and them of hells temporary haven. who war over our each one day to come. this battle determines our eternal continued spin. in my opinion...obtained from Gospel Scripture. Thank you Dear...love Michael
Comment from MissMerri
What a lovely little journey I just took, with you as guide and poet. The music is distinct in this one, and the scattering of rhyme is song-like too. I enjoyed reading, over and over, and just thought you'd like to know your words, your poetic music brings pleasure. Thank you for your creative spirit and willingness to share it. HM
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015
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What a lovely little journey I just took, with you as guide and poet. The music is distinct in this one, and the scattering of rhyme is song-like too. I enjoyed reading, over and over, and just thought you'd like to know your words, your poetic music brings pleasure. Thank you for your creative spirit and willingness to share it. HM
Comment Written 24-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015
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to be appreciated by those you do is treasured blessing...-smile- forever grateful are those who summit the same mountain. though the head-nod of acknowledgment should not give the Poet power for next breath. He or she should possess a lil' middle finger disposition in my ever so humble opinion ...-wink- Thank you Meadow...but I would do this just for myself...and mostly do. love you Michael
Comment from OLA THOMAS
I love to see strings of alliterations in a poem, you thrilled me with your smooth alliterations. A very nicely display of words weaving to deliver your message. Very well delivered.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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I love to see strings of alliterations in a poem, you thrilled me with your smooth alliterations. A very nicely display of words weaving to deliver your message. Very well delivered.
ola thomas
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Well thank you Ola...-smile- certainly appreciate you enjoying. Have a great night. love Michael
Comment from artemis53
Beautiful, Mike. I always say "Just one more day" but I'm still grateful going through the good and bad. I believe it's called growth.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Beautiful, Mike. I always say "Just one more day" but I'm still grateful going through the good and bad. I believe it's called growth.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hey D...-smile-....Amen...one more day to witness all the life in the world...-wink- yea growth is certain and so is wondering where....and how to get back there. love Michael
Comment from w.j.debi
You had a catchy title to draw me in to see what you had to say.
Excellent alliteration throughout.
The closing line is unexpected and so true. You made me smile and want to go out and do something thrilling..
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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You had a catchy title to draw me in to see what you had to say.
Excellent alliteration throughout.
The closing line is unexpected and so true. You made me smile and want to go out and do something thrilling..
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hey you...-smile- ah titles I was write on the fly...last minute deal...haha...thank you Beautiful ...love Michael
Comment from livelylinda
Michael: letting the lad in you come out to play. What have you discovered inside is different? Your music always takes me back to where I once was and glad I'm not there now . . . nice work as usual. Soft Thunder
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Michael: letting the lad in you come out to play. What have you discovered inside is different? Your music always takes me back to where I once was and glad I'm not there now . . . nice work as usual. Soft Thunder
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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the young soul of innocence somewhere inside us all never finds more than it first had..._smile-...Hi Linda. you dont like this music...I love it. you know i never really listened to Van morrison until after I came here....I love his sound...i think its eternal, raw emotion with given potential to move men into spirit form...if only for moment or two...-smile- sleep well pretty Lady. love Michael
Comment from Joan E.
What a mesmerizing artwork you chose to establish the mood for this scene, along with the music of Van Morrison. I always admire the way you echo thoughts and create wordplay as in "swing times used tire" plus "trusted compass bound true north" and "calloused worship in chorus still". More cheers- Joan
7/14/16 I did not get word of this or the last post but stumbled on them on the homepage. It was a pleasure to read the poems again. Smiles- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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What a mesmerizing artwork you chose to establish the mood for this scene, along with the music of Van Morrison. I always admire the way you echo thoughts and create wordplay as in "swing times used tire" plus "trusted compass bound true north" and "calloused worship in chorus still". More cheers- Joan
7/14/16 I did not get word of this or the last post but stumbled on them on the homepage. It was a pleasure to read the poems again. Smiles- Joan
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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haha...just left your place with a six star exit J...you done your Brother-in-law proud. love Michael
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I love it when we read each others works almost simultaneously. Thank you again for finding my tribute appealing. Big hugs- Joan
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yes indeed, i look forward to the next stimulation...-smile-
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That makes two of us as well. Smiles- Joan
Comment from amada
"gnarled oak secrets keep grim reap winter worn " What a great first line to grab the reader's attention. It could have gone to different places but I like a lot the way you worked it out. Best, my friend.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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"gnarled oak secrets keep grim reap winter worn " What a great first line to grab the reader's attention. It could have gone to different places but I like a lot the way you worked it out. Best, my friend.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hello Beauty beheld beyond mortal life's realm...-smile- ...ah thank you...I went the other way yesterday...it was a big hit of course...-wink-....I wish these people would take off the training wheels and catch up....-tongue stuck out-...love you Michael
Comment from anabellapongasi
Hi there,
I love the picture on top of the poem _mesmerizing! Your poem has some really superb lines such as the following:
remarkable how little has become so much more
the lad inside the man
who stroll the woodgrove of youthful hope found
softer hands rub together the rough surface of so many prayers (lovely imagery!)
their psalms though calloused worship in chorus still...small voices
sing (hyms)--hymns(add 'n') memorized through experience lived in never end
such a sweet thing...
dancing with the sting
still alive
Wonderful piece! Love it!
Blessings,
Anabella
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hi there,
I love the picture on top of the poem _mesmerizing! Your poem has some really superb lines such as the following:
remarkable how little has become so much more
the lad inside the man
who stroll the woodgrove of youthful hope found
softer hands rub together the rough surface of so many prayers (lovely imagery!)
their psalms though calloused worship in chorus still...small voices
sing (hyms)--hymns(add 'n') memorized through experience lived in never end
such a sweet thing...
dancing with the sting
still alive
Wonderful piece! Love it!
Blessings,
Anabella
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hello Hopes covet for more...-smile-...havent seen you in a while, hope all is well. Ah well love the song, wanted to write something different for it. love Michael
