Wild and Free
Free verse40 total reviews
Comment from Peter Mansson
Hi Leslie, I am enthralled by this piece and wonder if the subject is real or metaphorical. Presuming the former, your portrayal of a manipulative and abusive lover is graphic and passionate. Your final stanza reverting to the title theme provides the climax and resolve worthy of applaud. Great use of rhyme which flows freely without affectation.
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015
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Hi Leslie, I am enthralled by this piece and wonder if the subject is real or metaphorical. Presuming the former, your portrayal of a manipulative and abusive lover is graphic and passionate. Your final stanza reverting to the title theme provides the climax and resolve worthy of applaud. Great use of rhyme which flows freely without affectation.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much Peter for this great review and 6 stars. No the piece is not directly about me although I have experienced some aspects and witnessed others. I basically get an idea and then write in stream of consciousness, where ever the thoughts go or lead me. Usually it is not planned or thought out in advance. The best ones, flow naturally and the rhymes seem to flow and cooperate. I can't recreate a poem from memory - it never comes out the same - missing things and not as good. So it is a creative process in real time. Thank you for the empathetic understanding and getting it. I look forward to reading some of yours whenever you post.
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Leslie,
This is a different style... more staccato verses...
I found that I really enjoyed the first part and the last part especially...
the overall storyline is good, i like that. So I can't really say that I'd
cut anything, but I got lost a few times in the middle (probably because my
husband won't hush up) :(
anyway.... I love that song, Wild Thing, but I don't know that I would put it with the poem... but then, I only put a video in if it actually inspired the poem... (did it?)
All in all, an interesting form... you're most likely like I am... willing to try most anything... and I like your word choices. Keep it coming, girl.
Cat
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hello Leslie,
This is a different style... more staccato verses...
I found that I really enjoyed the first part and the last part especially...
the overall storyline is good, i like that. So I can't really say that I'd
cut anything, but I got lost a few times in the middle (probably because my
husband won't hush up) :(
anyway.... I love that song, Wild Thing, but I don't know that I would put it with the poem... but then, I only put a video in if it actually inspired the poem... (did it?)
All in all, an interesting form... you're most likely like I am... willing to try most anything... and I like your word choices. Keep it coming, girl.
Cat
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Cat, Tell hubby to zip it LOL - just kidding. seriously, if you get a chance when it's quite, can you take another look and see if you still get lost. I think the middle verses work, but another opinion would be welcome. As for the song - no it didn't inspire the poem, but the poem title and the same ending line made me think of the song, which I do like allot. I did think that it might detract from the poem, because of the independent "authentic self" and the poem is sort of traditionally sexist, but liking the song won out. And she could be wild and free and still hook up with a rocker- right?
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Only if she's lucky! ;)
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Actually, living in Hollywood, I have personally know three rockers, and all of those were messed up. So lucky, yes, quite a ride, but to get one that is loyal and not messed up on drugs or alcohol - so maybe unlucky as well.
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LOL... yeah, well, I don't think I'd want a rocker... but I do love me some Stephen Tyler. ;) But not all the time. LOL
though I've met him a few times, I"d just want to sit down and talk awhile. ;)
There are quite a few artists I'd love to just sit down and talk to... just see if they would sing a few of my poems... yeah, that would be cool.
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Yeah, that would. BTW, where did you meet Steven Tyler? I forgot, I also met Alan Jardine, of the Beach Boys - and heis a normal one. His mother lived in the same at. I did for awhile. When she died he came down to take care of her stuff and I used to get her Mc Donald's chocolate chip cookies which she loved (she was house bound), so he gave me an old ticket stub.
She was very lucky. The band formed in high school and practiced in her garage (Santa Barbara) and he was a really good son, took her with him on tour around the world. He lives in Big Sure, on horse ranch - married and totally normal as far as I could tell.
Other was guy who washed out of Guns and Roses, just before they became really famous - too many drugs and he became paranoid schizophrenic.(or might have anyway, but I'm sure the drugs didn't help.) Third was lead singer of Nagels, now deceased. He lost millions to 3 x wives, was on drugs, go liver disease and died of it. Last was husband of a friend. They met when about 25, and had on-off again relationship but married about 12 years ago. She put up with allot - infidelity, very bad verbal abuse when drunk (I had seen it), alcoholism. He seemed to be treating her better the last two years but passed away from lung cancer. I also have some lyrics I would have liked to have been made into a song. They won an honorable mention in Song of the Year contest. It's passe now I think, but then I wouldhave liked Lionel Ritchie, MIchael JAckson, quincy Jones or David Foster to have written music for it. It was intended as a fund raiser. But I didn't pursue it although an assistant music producer said it was great song writing and reminiscent of a U3 call for unity or Lennonesque anthem for peace. At the time it would have been first one after We are the World - now many more. Stupid of me not to have pursued it!
Comment from seaglass
The error in choice that mate young women with bad boys led to this dilemma. "I have waited long,growing strong,to meet and greet, the upbeat,wild and free,authentic me." After taking years of down-beating, some women mature enough to escape...if they survive. In America more than 90 women per year are shot by husbands or boyfriends.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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The error in choice that mate young women with bad boys led to this dilemma. "I have waited long,growing strong,to meet and greet, the upbeat,wild and free,authentic me." After taking years of down-beating, some women mature enough to escape...if they survive. In America more than 90 women per year are shot by husbands or boyfriends.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thanks for this true and important review. Yes, when women leave these kinds of men, it can putt hem in grave danger, even causing their death, when they are shot or killed by the husband or boyfriend who can't control them anymore and doesn't want anyone else to have them. Sad, but true!
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. We all long to be wild and free, but sometimes we are bound by chains. Sometimes these chains are even of our own making.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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This is an interesting poem that the author has created with this piece of writing. We all long to be wild and free, but sometimes we are bound by chains. Sometimes these chains are even of our own making.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Tomes for this very insightful review.
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My pleasure.
Comment from AnnaLinda
Leslie,
I really enjoyed reading your free verse! It was loaded with lots of great rhymes
and even though you may not have experienced this type of relationship, I
think you have captured the whole scenario really well.
Loved it's flow and the artwork and music you chose to go along with it.
Linda
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Leslie,
I really enjoyed reading your free verse! It was loaded with lots of great rhymes
and even though you may not have experienced this type of relationship, I
think you have captured the whole scenario really well.
Loved it's flow and the artwork and music you chose to go along with it.
Linda
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thank you Linda for the excellent review and comments.
Comment from robyn corum
This is, in a sense, a very empowering poem and --unfortunately - speaks to too many women trapped in loveless or violent relationships. Good job!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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This is, in a sense, a very empowering poem and --unfortunately - speaks to too many women trapped in loveless or violent relationships. Good job!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Robyn, I appreciate your review.
Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)
Yes! I want to celebrate with this woman, who has broken the shackles of convention, of abuse and stifling emotions. This poem makes me happy and hopeful for women everywhere! Thank you for this work!
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Yes! I want to celebrate with this woman, who has broken the shackles of convention, of abuse and stifling emotions. This poem makes me happy and hopeful for women everywhere! Thank you for this work!
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much Sam for this very empathetic and understanding review. I'm glad it made you happy and hopeful for women everywhere.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hi Leslie, this is very well written and flows along with seamless rhyming. I enjoyed the read and particularly -
You display your wiles
to keep me there,
in despair,
trapped in your snare,
a lover's lair
that belies
as true love dies.
Now, I celebrate
and keep my date
although belated,
I have waited long,
growing strong,
to meet and greet,
the upbeat,
wild and free,
authentic me.
A very good poem, and even these two stanzas alone would have made a good poem. Well done.
Warm regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Hi Leslie, this is very well written and flows along with seamless rhyming. I enjoyed the read and particularly -
You display your wiles
to keep me there,
in despair,
trapped in your snare,
a lover's lair
that belies
as true love dies.
Now, I celebrate
and keep my date
although belated,
I have waited long,
growing strong,
to meet and greet,
the upbeat,
wild and free,
authentic me.
A very good poem, and even these two stanzas alone would have made a good poem. Well done.
Warm regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thank you Dorothy for the excellent review.
Comment from ByeByeBirdie
Now, I celebrate
and keep my date
although belated,
I have waited long,
growing strong,
to meet and greet,
the upbeat,
wild and free,
authentic me."
Powerful :) -ERC
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Now, I celebrate
and keep my date
although belated,
I have waited long,
growing strong,
to meet and greet,
the upbeat,
wild and free,
authentic me."
Powerful :) -ERC
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thank you Ella, that was the crucial verse.
Comment from Ekim777
"There's something still wild in this country, something free! " So enthused Tennessee Williams in the Fugitive Kind but in our poem there is not much that spells freedom. Our characters are trapped in a world of passions and negative emotions. The final verse might just be wishful thinking. "Oh what a dreadful web we weave/ when we do practice to deceive."
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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"There's something still wild in this country, something free! " So enthused Tennessee Williams in the Fugitive Kind but in our poem there is not much that spells freedom. Our characters are trapped in a world of passions and negative emotions. The final verse might just be wishful thinking. "Oh what a dreadful web we weave/ when we do practice to deceive."
Comment Written 23-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2015
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Thank you Ekim777, for this literary review and six stars. As far as wishful thinking, may women do return to the same abuser, often many times. Others realize they do not deserve that and find their self-worth and break free, for good. Hopefully, they do not fall into the same trap again. You are right that the pattern many time repeats and so there could be some self-deception in those cases.
