Comment from petalangela

Excellent

I love these words one often finds an old book with a flower left with in it.
I try to imagine the beautiful memories it must hold sometimes I get vibes of deep sadness from them too

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thank you for the excellent review and yes, some memories are bitter sweet.

Comment from Dean Kuch

Excellent

You've woven much truth into the words of your tanka contest entry, Leslie. True love never dies, even after death. Some loves defy even the cold, cruel confines of the grave itself.
I'm not too familiar with the tanka form, but I l know in haiku poetry your syllabic count can be 17 syllables or less. You have just 4 syllables in the first line of this tanka (Dried-(1), red-(1), rose-(1), pressed-(1). See the link provided for more information:
How Many Syllables.com
Dried red rose petals would work and still retain your poems basic message and theme.

Anyhow, whatever you decide, Leslie, best of luck to you in the voting.

~Dean

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks Dean for the excellent review. Yes the first line is 4 syllables but the tanka contest does not require a strict 5-7-5-77, just short-long-short-long-long.

reply by Dean Kuch on 10-Oct-2015

Got 'cha, Leslie. I thought it might be something like that but thought I'd mention it to you just in case.
Good luck!
~Dean :}

reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Dean for caring enough to comment on it.

reply by Dean Kuch on 10-Oct-2015

No problem, Leslie. I'm sure you would do the same for me.
~Dean ;}

reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Yes, Thanks.

Comment from Donna G. (aka Sam Duck)

Excellent

Hi LeslieP5,
This Tanka has lovely imagery, and the metaphor is apt. The only concern I would have is that the first line has only 4 syllables, while the rest follows the classic 5-7-5-7-7 format. If the contest hasn't happened yet, best of luck on that - your poem is a strong contender.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks Sam. Yes it's 4 but 5 is not required. It does seem to be a common comment though.

Comment from zanya

Excellent

A wonderful tribute to the sheer fulfillment and unspoken joy that true love together with the much maligned marriage state can bring to our human lives- so effective in its understatement

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thank you zanya I'm glad you found the positive meaning in the poem.

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I've always considered the dried rose within the pages of a book to be a symbol of true love. You have captured that well in your words. Lovely message. Good luck in the contest. Faye

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Faye - I appreciate the excellent review.

Comment from Sis Cat

Excellent

Mmm. Strong use of imagery and emotions. Your words flow smoothly. This is enhanced by your alliteration of the letter "R." This made me think of the pressed roses my mother kept from special occasions. There is not a wasted word.

Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Sis Cat. The poem does seem to evoke memories in the reader.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Very romantic, the rose perhaps one from the original wedding bouquet. My only problem is that your first line is only four syllables. On reading the rules though, it appears that 5-7-5-7- is just a guide, so you should be good. Good luck in the contest!

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thank you ravenblack for the excellent review and comments.

Comment from c_lucas

Excellent

True love will help to get through the hard times. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. There is good imagery.

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks C lucas for your review. I appreciate it.

reply by c_lucas on 10-Oct-2015

You're welcome, Leslie. Charlie

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello :)

I love this simple but beautiful tanka poem about love. I remember putting roses inside books and wait until they were dried. I was amazed by the dry rose and the beautiful scent in the book. You bring concrete images to mind. Good job!

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks Gypsy Blue Rose. I'm glad the poem brought back some nice memories.

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

The way you have this structured really helps bring out the meaning in a more elegant way. Little tokens like a rose press's between the pages is a wonderful image. Great job. Les

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks Glasstruth for the excellent review.Thanks Gypsy Blue Rose.