Comment from BeasPeas

Excellent

An excellent write on love chilling and then freezing. It's a test of courage to have the perseverance to end it. Kudos to those who stay and same to those who work things out. Marilyn/BeasPeas

 Comment Written 16-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2015

Thanks, Marilyn.

Yes, it's a sad theme, but one many people recognise.... maybe why it didn't garner many votes!

Steve

reply by BeasPeas on 17-Oct-2015

Well, it's better readers bypass the ones they don't like than to drop the star count. We all have those days.

Comment from OnyxSapphire78

Excellent

This is heartbreaking! Although it is a very nice entry for the contest. Very well done. I wish you luck in the contest. Happy writing!

 Comment Written 14-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 17-Oct-2015

Thanks for the lovely review.

Steve

Comment from Eternal Muse

Exceptional

Alas... Nothing lasts forever, I guess, even the love we thought would outlast Time.

You've penned another fine sonnet, my friend, even though the format for a Kyrielle Sonnet is different. Loved your easy, unforced rhymes, your meter and flow. Even the unrhymed final couplet (another form requirement) is so in place.

The love that we knew has grown cold,
As cold as the grey morning sky.
You'll not be surprised to be told -
It's breakfast and then it's goodbye.

Very moving. Excellent rendition of the form.

Love, Y.

 Comment Written 12-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2015

Thanks, Yelena.

This one is a little downbeat, which may count against it when it comes to the vote - c'est la vie!

I appreciate all the stars.

Steve

Comment from RYME4U

Excellent

Excellent, The subtle sarcasm here is well expressed. I like the rhymes you chose and the requited love theme is portrayed with the emotion showing through, Great job!

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2015

Thanks, Rose.

This one is a little downbeat, which may count against it when it comes to the vote - c'est la vie!

Steve

Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca

Excellent

Very strong entry in the contest.
Kryielle rules followed and it was a joy to read.
Nice feeling put into the piece.
"It's breakfast and then it's goodbye"

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks. Barb.

Steve

Comment from Deborah Marie

Excellent

Nice contest entry. Wonderful rhyming. Descriptive wording; impressive imagery seen throughout. Well penned and nice color scheme. Thanks for sharing. God Bless, Deb

 Comment Written 08-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Deb - glad you enjoyed.

Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep

Excellent

Oh, this resonates with me, Steve. (our son has just separated from his wife) Your words are accurate for that is what happens, love his grown cold. Excellent rhyming lines, as usual a pleasure to read, Giddy

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Giddy. I'm afraid our son is on the brink too! Possibly that is where this sprang from.
We are sad the family may break up (they have one daughter - our only grandchild) but have to support him in whatever decision he makes...

Steve

Comment from Jackarrie

Excellent

This is a poem that a lot of people would identify with, I need to read up on the kyrielle sonnet, I have yet to write one. I see your poem as a realistic situation for many couples, it is well written. Mary

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015

Thanks, Mary.

Yes, it's sad that there are so many divorces and separations these days.

Steve

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Nothing worse than breakfast and goodbye...I bet it wasn't a cooked breakfast. No whitebait fritters or bacon and eggs...I bet it was just cold soggy wheatbix....no brown sugar either no cream on it ...or maybe stale cornflakes
I guess I am hungry
God bless...liked it he poem

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2015

Nope, I'm guessing breakfast wasn't a pleasant affair at all!

Steve

Comment from nancy_e_davis

Excellent

You did a good job on this Kyrielle Sonnet. I am not a fan of that form though. You chose a good repeat line Steve. I think what I don't like about the form is the fact the couplet doesn't rhyme. I have a rhyme brain I guess. Well done.
Good luck in the contest. :<) Nancy

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015

One star? We in Texas? :O)

Steve

reply by nancy_e_davis on 07-Oct-2015

Dang it I changed it but it didn't take I will do it again. It was of course an accident. So sorry! Nancy