Reviews from

An Educational Rigidity

true diagnosis is not as apparent as is believed

77 total reviews 
Comment from Eric1
Excellent
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Hi Vitor, Not too sure of what to make of this one, It is far behind my intelligence and there are far too many things to read into it my friend, yet it seems to keep calling me back!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Ha ha. Thank you, Eric.
Comment from robyn corum
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hmmm...

Victor,

I had to read this several times to try and decipher its meaning. Sometimes we can say much with little - but sometimes we say little with little - if you'll pardon my saying?? I had to try very hard to read between the lines here.

As I take it, you did not like what the doctor had to say and feel he already had his mind made up. He told YOU to lay aside your ego and listen and you feel the doctor should take a bit of his own prescription...? Close?

Thanks for sharing - though I think a BIT more might help...?

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Absolutely correct. Thank you, dear.
Comment from NJK62
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a wonderful, thought-provoking indictment of an educational system that fails its learners.

The poem begins with an effective ambiguity. The interaction has the quality of a medical consultation, in which the patient is asked to articulate his 'complaint' or 'problem'. The ambiguity reinforces the reader's sense of the urgency and significance of the issue: it is life threatening. However, this complaint is not medical, it is the failure of an educational system that does not attend to the needs of the individual. The image of the wave failing to leave a lasting 'imprint' is particularly resonant. If the wave represents the individual or the learner, the metaphor implies enormous potential strength and power, but the image suggests that this is not realised. There is a sense of waste here.

The poem goes onto develop the reasons why: 'Your labels inaccurate,/
your summation/ omits or retains/ as necessary / for an oft biased drawer/ already mislabeled. ' The system fails to recognize individuality (summation/ omits or retains): it has a skewed perspective (drawer/ already mislabeled) and sees what it wants to see. The fine metaphor of the 'drawer' suggests that this educational system is about labelling individuals rather than releasing their potential. The attempt to assert individuality and question the system is seen as 'ego'.

The poem ends with a particularly resonant image, that of the 'mirror'. The speaker questions the purpose of education through this image: it implies that education should allow the individual to find him/herself, see his/her true reflection. Only then can (s)he fulfil him/herself.

This is highly accomplished writing with serious intent. Well done. Well worth six stars!!!

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
    Yes, you have correctly completely identified and understood one of, basically the two major themes I was trying to intertwine. I did mean that sentence as a compliment and in no way was trying to subtly diss anything. I find it quite elucidating to read intelligent people's takes on my writing. I do truly learn from them. Thank you.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
    I just read your review again, and just wanted to reiterate what a marvelous depth of understanding you display. And that it is quite gratifying to meet a true intellectual.
reply by NJK62 on 08-Oct-2015
    You have a real talent.
Comment from scd41
Excellent
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Many times doctors make wrong diagnosis which they base on symptoms and patients' complaints. Best is the self-diagnosis and it cannot go wrong in worldly matters. You are right in pinpointing ego being the culprit. When one looks within after shedding his ego, he rediscovers himself. I am not sure if educational rigidity affects any way.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Correct. Thank you.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Excellent
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Everybody has an opinion of themselves, and it is usually much higher than the reality of the situation turns out to be.

Poem draws on this theme attempting to be introspective.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    I would agree with you, and do.
    Very observant. Very intelligent.

    Here comes the "but."

    However, what does one do when
    this situation actually is as
    described? Psychiatrists, in my
    opinion, are prone to Narcissism.

    Which can be hard to self-recognize.

    Could I fall prey to such?
    Of course, except the definition
    of narcissism includes either total
    lack of empathy, or near total lack.

    Now, I'm sorry to say, U'll have to
    probably accept my word that I absolutely
    have empathy. A ton of it.

    Thank you.
Comment from Jacob Collins
Excellent
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An interesting piece, victor. I can never really trust doctors, in a few years time they'll be saying that things are bad for you which they're saying are good for you now. An excellent write. Thanks for sharing...Jacob

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
    Yes, reseaarch, truth, facts, and understanding continues to progress. But don't deprive yourself of the best quality of medicine mankind has ever known.
Comment from G.B. Smith
Excellent
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Hey there Doug

This is an interesting way by my thinking of looking past the ego and coming=face to face with ReAliTy. Some label me as a nut job, when in reality I am a Rubik's Cube - Mentally Stimulating as are you
Bear

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Ha ha. Oh Bear, I miss you.
Comment from MacMhuirich
Excellent
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Very clever writing my friend, I like the whole poem, this:-
We walk upon this planet,
our passing imprint gone
as waves against the rock - is wonderful, and the twist at the end is, on reflection, brilliant.
Bless you
John


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Thank you, John.
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
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We have rendered more species extinct than most catastrophic events, we have scarred the planet for eons-Chernobyl's glob will still be dangerous a hundred thousand years from now. The glaciers flee, the seas rise-that mirror is dangerous.
That said, your free verse is an excellent expression of view.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2021
    Thank you.
Comment from mvbrooks
Good
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Is the "doctor" a "Ph.D." doctor? At first, it seemed like a patient talking to a medical doctor--but "the mirror " at the last line makes it seem more that he is talking to himself. It seems a bit unclear.

Editing note:
"Your labels inaccurate, "
--need to add an apostrophe to "label's" as it's a contraction for "label is"

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
    Actually, no. "Labels" is simply plural. Thank you.