The Diving Board
A daring rescue goes unthanked27 total reviews
Comment from Kinch Kinski
A sweet story, and I think everyone can relate to that feeling of doing a good deed and more or less being punished for it. I like how your fear is so apparent even while doing this brave thing, makes it even more galling when you're reprimanded at the end!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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A sweet story, and I think everyone can relate to that feeling of doing a good deed and more or less being punished for it. I like how your fear is so apparent even while doing this brave thing, makes it even more galling when you're reprimanded at the end!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2016
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It was one of my most vivid memories! I think it was the injustice of it all, and following one of my proudest moments. I guess the man was just scared, and reacted out of that fear. He was probably watching the baby while his wife was at work or shopping, and knew she would kill him if he let the boy get hurt. I'm pretty sure he wasn't grateful!
Thanks for going back and reading an old post!
Comment from jpduck
What an amazing story. Your writing brings out the full drama of it very well. I suspect your suggestion for the father's behaviour is probably spot on -- a mixture of shock and guilt.
Adrian
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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What an amazing story. Your writing brings out the full drama of it very well. I suspect your suggestion for the father's behaviour is probably spot on -- a mixture of shock and guilt.
Adrian
Comment Written 07-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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I think we were both right, too! I hope he worked it out later and didn't take it out on him. Thanks for the review!
Comment from c_lucas
People don't want to get involved, or are waiting for something to come to a finality. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Congratulations on winning the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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People don't want to get involved, or are waiting for something to come to a finality. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very interesting read. Congratulations on winning the contest.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much for the review and comments! You are so right about people not wanting to get involved, but it still concerned me that they were just standing around watching. Oh, well, one never knows what they will do in a survival situation until they are in it. I'm glad to know what I would do!
Rhonda
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You're Rhonda. Charlie
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi,
_ It is such a sad thing when adults can't take responsibility for their actions.
_ Just as sad is to be so callous as to not even thank a person for possibly save their child's life.
_ Something so wrong with his scenario.
- Good to see you won the contest.
_ Great job.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Hi,
_ It is such a sad thing when adults can't take responsibility for their actions.
_ Just as sad is to be so callous as to not even thank a person for possibly save their child's life.
_ Something so wrong with his scenario.
- Good to see you won the contest.
_ Great job.
Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Jax! There was something wrong with the situation when adults let a young teen do what they should have, but it was one of those "defining moments" in my life, and I'm glad I was there when I was.
Rhonda
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Seems this man was a complete idiot.
Probably saved the kid's life and the thanks you get for doing so is attitude from a total L-O-S-E-R!
Would not want to see how the kid is being raised, probably very abusively, or what he grows up to be.
The apple never falls far from the tree.
Well written story.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Seems this man was a complete idiot.
Probably saved the kid's life and the thanks you get for doing so is attitude from a total L-O-S-E-R!
Would not want to see how the kid is being raised, probably very abusively, or what he grows up to be.
The apple never falls far from the tree.
Well written story.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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You know, Brett, that's what I've always worried about. If his father was so mad at him for slipping out that he couldn't be thankful that he was rescued, how many more ways could he be screwed up?
Thanks for the review,
Rhonda
Comment from Debbie Noland
I can see why this well told story won the contest. You waste no words in its telling, saying much in the limited space of words allowed.
You are especially clear about your own ambivalent feelings and self doubts. You build tension capably as you work your way to the rescue. The ending is especially good as you wonder at the father's ingratitude and the relative apathy of the onlookers.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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I can see why this well told story won the contest. You waste no words in its telling, saying much in the limited space of words allowed.
You are especially clear about your own ambivalent feelings and self doubts. You build tension capably as you work your way to the rescue. The ending is especially good as you wonder at the father's ingratitude and the relative apathy of the onlookers.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much for your wonderful review and comments. Apathy was a great characterization of their attitude. It was very strange. They were cheering me on, but no one was willing to help. Weird!
Comment from light
Interesting and touching story. Good job showing the emotion of the fourteen year-old. No good deed goes unpunished.
Elaine
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Interesting and touching story. Good job showing the emotion of the fourteen year-old. No good deed goes unpunished.
Elaine
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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You are quite right, Elaine, and this incident was no exception! Thanks for reviewing,
Rhonda
Comment from Louise Michelle
Congratulations - it's easy to see why you won the contest.
What an extraordinary story. Every well chosen word set the scenario and showed the readers exactly what happened.
The last paragraph and particularly the question at the end was a perfect way to end this.
I can't help but wonder how you felt at the time. Were you confused and angry? Hopefully, other adults assured you that the father was in the wrong. Hugs, Lou
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Congratulations - it's easy to see why you won the contest.
What an extraordinary story. Every well chosen word set the scenario and showed the readers exactly what happened.
The last paragraph and particularly the question at the end was a perfect way to end this.
I can't help but wonder how you felt at the time. Were you confused and angry? Hopefully, other adults assured you that the father was in the wrong. Hugs, Lou
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Lou! I was immediately confused because I saw all the people standing around pointing, and then I looked up to see the boy in danger, and no one doing anything. I don't know whether they just didn't know what to do or were afraid to make him fall if they went up the steps. I guess the vigor of youth kept me from worrying as much. I don't think I thought about it. I just took off up to get him.
Some of the people looked at me like I was a hero, and others just walked off, so I walked off, too. It was a strange experience. Thanks for your comments,
Rhonda
Comment from Unspoken94
I pulled a man off a bridge once before he jumped and had the same response. Go figure. Take a look at the word "quietened." I think it should be quieted.
This is a wonderful short story and you brought out all of the dramatics to keep us gripped with anticipation. Nice work. -Bill
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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I pulled a man off a bridge once before he jumped and had the same response. Go figure. Take a look at the word "quietened." I think it should be quieted.
This is a wonderful short story and you brought out all of the dramatics to keep us gripped with anticipation. Nice work. -Bill
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Bill, I missed that snafu. I'll fix it at once. Crazy about that man's behavior, at least the little boy was glad I got him down. I appreciate your review!
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi..interesting story and indeed, you were the bravest one there perhaps the only adult as you mention there..To the people though, you might be seen as the opposite only because we don't know who the man was..what if he was a mafia kingpin who the people were afraid of. Anways, you told the story very well. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Hi..interesting story and indeed, you were the bravest one there perhaps the only adult as you mention there..To the people though, you might be seen as the opposite only because we don't know who the man was..what if he was a mafia kingpin who the people were afraid of. Anways, you told the story very well. Thanks for sharing. Cheers.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2015
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Thank you, Benjamin, for being the one who looks outside the box. Naturally I should have been more appreciative that I was not gunned down by an Uzi. It's all in perspective, is it not? Haha
